Perennials of War
Viewing comments for Chapter 37 "Chapter Zwolf part eins"Is Anderson a gallant knight? Can he recover Shan
38 total reviews
Comment from Sis Cat
Because I recently listened to an audio recording of a full cast production of King Lear, this chapter resonated with me because I understood what was discussed:
Shana opened the paperback book and stared at the pages. King Lear banished his daughter, Cordelia, because she loved him enough to speak the truth. Would a father really banish a daughter? Cordelia was his favorite.
You use this as a great metaphor for Shana's fears that her father would banish her for speaking the truth. Your chapter also reminds me to keep reading Shakespeare's plays as more writers will continue to refer to and be inspired by them.
Thank you for sharing an informative, transitional chapter.
reply by the author on 29-Jul-2017
  |
Because I recently listened to an audio recording of a full cast production of King Lear, this chapter resonated with me because I understood what was discussed:
Shana opened the paperback book and stared at the pages. King Lear banished his daughter, Cordelia, because she loved him enough to speak the truth. Would a father really banish a daughter? Cordelia was his favorite.
You use this as a great metaphor for Shana's fears that her father would banish her for speaking the truth. Your chapter also reminds me to keep reading Shakespeare's plays as more writers will continue to refer to and be inspired by them.
Thank you for sharing an informative, transitional chapter.
Comment Written 29-Jul-2017
reply by the author on 29-Jul-2017
-
Thank you so much for catching that. Not everybody did. You're wonderful!!!!
Comment from Meia (MESAYERS)
I loved King Lear, so much that I named a rabbit of mine Cordelia :) I am a big fan of Shakespeare in general though as I studied him intensively, read all of his works and was in a few of his plays, my favourite being Twelfth Night where I played Viola. This is a fabulous piece of writing and I enjoyed it very much. Well done and I look forward to reading more, don't worry about replying we just enjoy your wonderful stories! Kindest regards Meia xx
reply by the author on 29-Jul-2017
|
I loved King Lear, so much that I named a rabbit of mine Cordelia :) I am a big fan of Shakespeare in general though as I studied him intensively, read all of his works and was in a few of his plays, my favourite being Twelfth Night where I played Viola. This is a fabulous piece of writing and I enjoyed it very much. Well done and I look forward to reading more, don't worry about replying we just enjoy your wonderful stories! Kindest regards Meia xx
Comment Written 29-Jul-2017
reply by the author on 29-Jul-2017
-
King Lear's relationship with Cordelia will play a role with Shana's relationship with her father. LOL Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from Dolly'sPoems
Love the dialogue and the final explanation, well written piece and a joy to read, I am a Shakespeare fan too, good luck and have a great day, best wishes, love Dolly x
reply by the author on 29-Jul-2017
|
Love the dialogue and the final explanation, well written piece and a joy to read, I am a Shakespeare fan too, good luck and have a great day, best wishes, love Dolly x
Comment Written 28-Jul-2017
reply by the author on 29-Jul-2017
-
Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from rama devi
As usual, the dialog enhances characterization and makes swift pacing, the action tags bring it to live, and this is an easy-to-read chapter. Just a number of minor spag nits...five stars in advance, as I know you usually fix those.
*"Earlier this evening(,) Philip asked why this painting was so important
*
"I have a roundabout answer(,) but it's the only answer I have.
* Yesterday(,) a helicopter flew over this patio trying to figure out where to land.
*
"I doubt that. Helen's already busy in the kitchen(,) and I'm sure Jane's busy too.
*
As he accepted it, he said, "This morning, I have a few extra things that need my attention. Can Philip let Kyle up when he returns?"
Consider trimming off the speech tag here and sticking with an action tag:
He accepted it. "This morning, I have a few extra things that need my attention. Can Philip let Kyle up when he returns?"
or two actions:
He accepted it with a smile. "This morning, I have a few extra things that need my attention. Can Philip let Kyle up when he returns?"
(a smile, nod, or 'accepted it with both hands'--some visual qualifier would be good there)...
Love the reference to King Lear and Cordelia.
I love Shakespeare! One of my faves.
* King Lear decided to retire and to divide his kingdom among his three daughters. The largest amount going to the daughter who loved him the most.
Either add a verb in the second sentence (WENT instead of GOING) or make it one sentence. Examples:
King Lear decided to retire and to divide his kingdom among his three daughters. The largest amount went to the daughter who loved him the most.
King Lear decided to retire and to divide his kingdom among his three daughters, the largest amount going to the daughter who loved him the most.
*Well, two daughters said all the sweet things he wanted to hear, but (they) were lies.
Hope you found this helpful....
Warm Smiles, rd
reply by the author on 29-Jul-2017
|
As usual, the dialog enhances characterization and makes swift pacing, the action tags bring it to live, and this is an easy-to-read chapter. Just a number of minor spag nits...five stars in advance, as I know you usually fix those.
*"Earlier this evening(,) Philip asked why this painting was so important
*
"I have a roundabout answer(,) but it's the only answer I have.
* Yesterday(,) a helicopter flew over this patio trying to figure out where to land.
*
"I doubt that. Helen's already busy in the kitchen(,) and I'm sure Jane's busy too.
*
As he accepted it, he said, "This morning, I have a few extra things that need my attention. Can Philip let Kyle up when he returns?"
Consider trimming off the speech tag here and sticking with an action tag:
He accepted it. "This morning, I have a few extra things that need my attention. Can Philip let Kyle up when he returns?"
or two actions:
He accepted it with a smile. "This morning, I have a few extra things that need my attention. Can Philip let Kyle up when he returns?"
(a smile, nod, or 'accepted it with both hands'--some visual qualifier would be good there)...
Love the reference to King Lear and Cordelia.
I love Shakespeare! One of my faves.
* King Lear decided to retire and to divide his kingdom among his three daughters. The largest amount going to the daughter who loved him the most.
Either add a verb in the second sentence (WENT instead of GOING) or make it one sentence. Examples:
King Lear decided to retire and to divide his kingdom among his three daughters. The largest amount went to the daughter who loved him the most.
King Lear decided to retire and to divide his kingdom among his three daughters, the largest amount going to the daughter who loved him the most.
*Well, two daughters said all the sweet things he wanted to hear, but (they) were lies.
Hope you found this helpful....
Warm Smiles, rd
Comment Written 28-Jul-2017
reply by the author on 29-Jul-2017
-
Thank you for the detailed review. I appreciate the help. I got home from vacation late yesterday. I will go now and make corrections on last weeks post.
-
:-)))
-
:-)))
Comment from Walu Feral
G'day Barbara.
It's great being able to keep up with your chapters. They are always so well written and interesting.
"They're still subjecting students to Shakespeare?" Jane shook her head. "How sad." (Hahahaha! Great line.)
Darn,I love old Billy S. I hope the Education Dept. don't read this and take it off the curriculum lol.
A great moral ending to this one. Sometimes the truth hurts.
Not one word out of place that I could spot.
Well done.
Cheers Fez
reply by the author on 29-Jul-2017
|
G'day Barbara.
It's great being able to keep up with your chapters. They are always so well written and interesting.
"They're still subjecting students to Shakespeare?" Jane shook her head. "How sad." (Hahahaha! Great line.)
Darn,I love old Billy S. I hope the Education Dept. don't read this and take it off the curriculum lol.
A great moral ending to this one. Sometimes the truth hurts.
Not one word out of place that I could spot.
Well done.
Cheers Fez
Comment Written 28-Jul-2017
reply by the author on 29-Jul-2017
-
Thank you for the kind review. l laughed at your review.
Comment from beizanten
The previous post ending is interesting and easily capture my attention. Overall well written story and characters eventhough I find it a bit dull. Keep up the great work.
reply by the author on 27-Jul-2017
|
The previous post ending is interesting and easily capture my attention. Overall well written story and characters eventhough I find it a bit dull. Keep up the great work.
Comment Written 27-Jul-2017
reply by the author on 27-Jul-2017
-
This post is very important to future post. It sets the stage. Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from way2gokevs
Thanks so much for sharing, enjoyed the read. Must admit that this is a first time read of your novel, you write well and the subject matter flows.
Look forward to the next chapter, maybe I will have a peruse of previous chapters.
Cheers
Kev
reply by the author on 27-Jul-2017
|
Thanks so much for sharing, enjoyed the read. Must admit that this is a first time read of your novel, you write well and the subject matter flows.
Look forward to the next chapter, maybe I will have a peruse of previous chapters.
Cheers
Kev
Comment Written 27-Jul-2017
reply by the author on 27-Jul-2017
-
Thank you for the encouragement.
Comment from Thal1959
Very well written with no spelling or grammar errors. I enjoyed the King Lear reference. But I did find it hard to mentally keep track of who was who - a bit too many characters to sort out in such a small work. But that is not an error on your part; just a failing of mine.
reply by the author on 27-Jul-2017
|
Very well written with no spelling or grammar errors. I enjoyed the King Lear reference. But I did find it hard to mentally keep track of who was who - a bit too many characters to sort out in such a small work. But that is not an error on your part; just a failing of mine.
Comment Written 27-Jul-2017
reply by the author on 27-Jul-2017
-
This is a tiny section of a much larger work. Thank you for the kind review.
-
You're welcome - it was my pleasure.
Comment from Auto-Manic
Lots of characters in this story, but if your a Billionaire Texan I suppose ya gotta...I mean, hell, I would. But I digress. Big fan of 'he said ... she said... and let the dialog run the story, Kudos there. Good tension in the dialog always helps.
Liked the way the para's are broke up, helps the reader along, no blocks of gray.
Not a big Romance fan so indulge me a little here, just my flavor but thought it dragged a bit with the King Lear thing. Like to see more interaction, tension in the them, plots behind plots, and find out who the nasty bitch in this story is. Ha! Well, that's what a review from a guy gets ya.
Had fun anyway
good stuff
AM
reply by the author on 27-Jul-2017
|
Lots of characters in this story, but if your a Billionaire Texan I suppose ya gotta...I mean, hell, I would. But I digress. Big fan of 'he said ... she said... and let the dialog run the story, Kudos there. Good tension in the dialog always helps.
Liked the way the para's are broke up, helps the reader along, no blocks of gray.
Not a big Romance fan so indulge me a little here, just my flavor but thought it dragged a bit with the King Lear thing. Like to see more interaction, tension in the them, plots behind plots, and find out who the nasty bitch in this story is. Ha! Well, that's what a review from a guy gets ya.
Had fun anyway
good stuff
AM
Comment Written 27-Jul-2017
reply by the author on 27-Jul-2017
-
The King Lear reference will be extremely important later in interaction with Shana and her father. Thank you for the kind review.
-
Got'cha, will look forward to it. Sorry that all I got to read was a snipit, but sometimes if you can take just three or four pages out of context and see if it still lures you into it, or makes you go, ho hum. Just a trick I was shown sometime back. Anyway, now I know what the reference was about, I will look forward to this 'Literature' English profs next move.
Write On!
AM
Comment from Alcreator Litt Dear
This speaks how it is likely to be the next morning, the view and viewpoint about literary thoughts could emerge into mind to get into a change over in anyone's life or Shana; I liked.
reply by the author on 26-Jul-2017
|
This speaks how it is likely to be the next morning, the view and viewpoint about literary thoughts could emerge into mind to get into a change over in anyone's life or Shana; I liked.
Comment Written 26-Jul-2017
reply by the author on 26-Jul-2017
-
Thank you for the kind review. Shana's thoughts on King Lear will effect her later.
