Seasons of Change
A Senryu3 total reviews
Comment from Bill Schott
This senryu, Seasons of Change, uses fifteen syllables to bring us the sad picture of our summer of frolic replaced by the deathlike embrace of winter. A bit depressing.
reply by the author on 27-Jul-2017
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This senryu, Seasons of Change, uses fifteen syllables to bring us the sad picture of our summer of frolic replaced by the deathlike embrace of winter. A bit depressing.
Comment Written 27-Jul-2017
reply by the author on 27-Jul-2017
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Was musing about being in the autumn of my life...didn't mean to cause distress! Thank you for reading and reviewing.
Comment from Pam (respa)
-Interesting image.
-Syllable count is good.
-The imagery is effective.
-You capture the scene well.
-Very good concluding line.
-Good luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 17-Jul-2017
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-Interesting image.
-Syllable count is good.
-The imagery is effective.
-You capture the scene well.
-Very good concluding line.
-Good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 17-Jul-2017
reply by the author on 17-Jul-2017
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Thank you for pointing out the count. Revised it to 16 syllables. Appreciate the review.
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You are very welcome for the suggestion and review. I revised the review to reflect the change.
Comment from RodG
This senyru describes aging very well, objectively rather than subjectively.
You set the scene very well in lines 1 & 2,
Line 3 makes the whole presentation symbolic. Nicely drawn.
reply by the author on 17-Jul-2017
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This senyru describes aging very well, objectively rather than subjectively.
You set the scene very well in lines 1 & 2,
Line 3 makes the whole presentation symbolic. Nicely drawn.
Comment Written 17-Jul-2017
reply by the author on 17-Jul-2017
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Thank you for your encouraging feedback. We need to roll with the seasons...
