Retribution
A Chant Royal - see note below38 total reviews
Comment from rosehill (Wendy)
Beautiful Tony. You definitely got my vote for this one. The crafting is superb as always, but the depth of the poem, along with the difficulty of execution, is what got my attention. So many times, the poet gets lost in that execution and the story is subservient to the intricate forms. You have solved the puzzle of the rhyming and rhythm without letting it interfere as you laid out the case and offered the final question. Marvelous. - Wendy
reply by the author on 10-Jul-2017
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Beautiful Tony. You definitely got my vote for this one. The crafting is superb as always, but the depth of the poem, along with the difficulty of execution, is what got my attention. So many times, the poet gets lost in that execution and the story is subservient to the intricate forms. You have solved the puzzle of the rhyming and rhythm without letting it interfere as you laid out the case and offered the final question. Marvelous. - Wendy
Comment Written 09-Jul-2017
reply by the author on 10-Jul-2017
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Many thanks, Wendy. Very kind of you to say so. I appreciate the sixth star! Tony
Comment from kiwisteveh
Beautifully constructed, Tony. I don't know this form at all, but I'm guessing the requirement to use unique rhyming words over such a lengthy poem must have been a real pain in the arse! However, you wouldn't know that from the way your poem flows and develops the story naturally enough without any evidence of forced rhyming.
The regular iambic and formal word choice both suit the rather majestic tone of the story. I particularly like the question in the envoi which places responsibility on the reader to decide whether the fate of this 'tyrant' is appropriate. Nit talking about a certain contemporary tyrant, are we?
Steve
reply by the author on 10-Jul-2017
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Beautifully constructed, Tony. I don't know this form at all, but I'm guessing the requirement to use unique rhyming words over such a lengthy poem must have been a real pain in the arse! However, you wouldn't know that from the way your poem flows and develops the story naturally enough without any evidence of forced rhyming.
The regular iambic and formal word choice both suit the rather majestic tone of the story. I particularly like the question in the envoi which places responsibility on the reader to decide whether the fate of this 'tyrant' is appropriate. Nit talking about a certain contemporary tyrant, are we?
Steve
Comment Written 07-Jul-2017
reply by the author on 10-Jul-2017
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Many thanks, Steve. Very kind of you to say so. I appreciate the sixth star! Quite a few reviewers made a connection with modern politics! Tony
Comment from jlsavell
Tony, this work is truly amazing. Absolutely and undeniably. Perfect rhythm and cadence with a cautionary tale which never faltered from its them. Often I wonder about true retribution, Certainly a round table discussion. Exceptional work. A stunning form and a magnificent feat. Bravo. Best wishes in the contest.
jimi
reply by the author on 10-Jul-2017
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Tony, this work is truly amazing. Absolutely and undeniably. Perfect rhythm and cadence with a cautionary tale which never faltered from its them. Often I wonder about true retribution, Certainly a round table discussion. Exceptional work. A stunning form and a magnificent feat. Bravo. Best wishes in the contest.
jimi
Comment Written 05-Jul-2017
reply by the author on 10-Jul-2017
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Many thanks, Jimi. Very kind of you to say so. I appreciate it! Tony
Comment from duchessofdrumborg
'Retribution" is an extremely well-written and thought-provoking piece. This talented poet's work was a pleasure to both read and review. I've just reviewed a true SIX!
reply by the author on 29-Jun-2017
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'Retribution" is an extremely well-written and thought-provoking piece. This talented poet's work was a pleasure to both read and review. I've just reviewed a true SIX!
Comment Written 28-Jun-2017
reply by the author on 29-Jun-2017
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Very many thanks, Duchess. I appreciate your golden opinion! Tony
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Tony, as always, you're very welcome.
Kindest wishes, the Duchess
Tony, you flatterer, my golden opinion is frozen at the moment! It's close to freezing down here.
Best wishes and bless you, the duchess
Comment from krys123
Cheers, Tony;
-how I was intrigued by this poem/Chant Royale, and how it was so applicable to many of persons, things, and places I have known "For one who thought the path his own." I have ever seen reckless men choose a path with no regards to others and I have known of places who build walls around their city who thought their past and no regards to anyone else and I have seen places like Rome built for over 200 years just to fall for they had no regards for others. Could this poem be about Caesar, Alexander the great, Rome or even the United States and its lingering president,
-I see many faceted metaphors in this poem that which contain many different ingredients that allows a man to be above other men.
-Well rhymed and rhythm complete this poem's enjambment flow smoothly throughout the writing without a hiccup or a syntactical break in any of the meaning and the reading of this poem.
-A superb poem and well written according to its difficult or tedious regard to structure.
-Thanks for sharing this, Tony, and take care and have a good one.
Alex
reply by the author on 28-Jun-2017
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Cheers, Tony;
-how I was intrigued by this poem/Chant Royale, and how it was so applicable to many of persons, things, and places I have known "For one who thought the path his own." I have ever seen reckless men choose a path with no regards to others and I have known of places who build walls around their city who thought their past and no regards to anyone else and I have seen places like Rome built for over 200 years just to fall for they had no regards for others. Could this poem be about Caesar, Alexander the great, Rome or even the United States and its lingering president,
-I see many faceted metaphors in this poem that which contain many different ingredients that allows a man to be above other men.
-Well rhymed and rhythm complete this poem's enjambment flow smoothly throughout the writing without a hiccup or a syntactical break in any of the meaning and the reading of this poem.
-A superb poem and well written according to its difficult or tedious regard to structure.
-Thanks for sharing this, Tony, and take care and have a good one.
Alex
Comment Written 27-Jun-2017
reply by the author on 28-Jun-2017
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Delighted that you found this one of interest, Alex. As you suggest, the relationship between power and inflated egos hasn't changed much over time! Thanks very much for the sixth star. Much appreciated as always. Tony.
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You are very welcome, Tony, and you're right I see that the behavioral style of the human being is in change in a very long time when it comes to the 4 major wants of a child a like the 4 major wants of an adult. Food, security, companionship and the me myself and I or security so to speak.
Take care and have a good one, Tony, especially with all those that you love and care for.
Alex
Comment from Bill Schott
This is one of those excellent poetic masterpieces that seem chiseled out of page and what remains is the art that we were to see. I really enjoyed this poem for its challenge that you met, the terrific tale that you told, and the introduction of a new format that I might want to take on one day.
reply by the author on 29-Jun-2017
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This is one of those excellent poetic masterpieces that seem chiseled out of page and what remains is the art that we were to see. I really enjoyed this poem for its challenge that you met, the terrific tale that you told, and the introduction of a new format that I might want to take on one day.
Comment Written 27-Jun-2017
reply by the author on 29-Jun-2017
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Very many thanks, Bill, both for your kind words and the six stars. Much appreciated! Good luck with the form - the d-rhyme is a killer! Tony
Comment from ~Dovey
Hi Tony:
What a fantastic poem. It reads like a dream and I didn't go through and check every rhyme, but I'm sure that you did as you were writing. Thank you for the introduction to this style. I'm going to bookmark this one so I can try it sometime, too. You've done exceptional work on this piece.
I'm facilitating Poetry Potlatch for July and I just finished typing up notes on the use of Allusion for our practice and challenge topic this week. (in the Challenge forum.) Imagine how surprised and delighted I was to find it here in your poem. This is my favorite stanza:
His silhouette and even stride
Suggest a nobleman's estate;
A lord who would not be defied
By any man, or God, or Fate.
But hear the mighty trumpets blow,
Collapsing walls of Jericho.
This evil man spares no expense
For pride, a failing so immense
It permeates his every bone,
Sets him apart, the sole defence
Of one who thought The Path his own.
Thank you for providing me a new challenge! :) This is a six all the way!
Bravo!!
Kim
reply by the author on 29-Jun-2017
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Hi Tony:
What a fantastic poem. It reads like a dream and I didn't go through and check every rhyme, but I'm sure that you did as you were writing. Thank you for the introduction to this style. I'm going to bookmark this one so I can try it sometime, too. You've done exceptional work on this piece.
I'm facilitating Poetry Potlatch for July and I just finished typing up notes on the use of Allusion for our practice and challenge topic this week. (in the Challenge forum.) Imagine how surprised and delighted I was to find it here in your poem. This is my favorite stanza:
His silhouette and even stride
Suggest a nobleman's estate;
A lord who would not be defied
By any man, or God, or Fate.
But hear the mighty trumpets blow,
Collapsing walls of Jericho.
This evil man spares no expense
For pride, a failing so immense
It permeates his every bone,
Sets him apart, the sole defence
Of one who thought The Path his own.
Thank you for providing me a new challenge! :) This is a six all the way!
Bravo!!
Kim
Comment Written 27-Jun-2017
reply by the author on 29-Jun-2017
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Very many thanks, Kim, both for your kind words and the six stars. Much appreciated! Congratulations on taking the baton from Jim - I feel sure that it will be a smooth transition. Although I don't very often take up these Potlach challenges, I shall be interested to read your notes.Best wishes, Tony
Comment from Giddy Nielsen-Sweep
Wow this is a top work, Tony. You really nailed this fellow, he's in for it! A good lesson in 'pride goeth before a fall' I would say. Such a pleasure to read such adept writing. Love the rhyming in particular, Giddy
reply by the author on 26-Jun-2017
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Wow this is a top work, Tony. You really nailed this fellow, he's in for it! A good lesson in 'pride goeth before a fall' I would say. Such a pleasure to read such adept writing. Love the rhyming in particular, Giddy
Comment Written 26-Jun-2017
reply by the author on 26-Jun-2017
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Very many thanks for this lovely review, Giddy, and for the six stars. Much appreciated! Best wishes, Tony
Comment from Irish Rain
Well, I just love this. Can't make out who it's about, though I've read it three times. Maybe that's one of its attractions, could be any of us. Sounds like Satan, the fallen angel, the earth opening....BUT....whoever, whatever....I just love this!!! Blessings...
reply by the author on 26-Jun-2017
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Well, I just love this. Can't make out who it's about, though I've read it three times. Maybe that's one of its attractions, could be any of us. Sounds like Satan, the fallen angel, the earth opening....BUT....whoever, whatever....I just love this!!! Blessings...
Comment Written 26-Jun-2017
reply by the author on 26-Jun-2017
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Very many thanks for this review, Judy, and for the six stars. Much appreciated! The general idea was that pride comes before a fall. A few people related it to Donald Trump, though I didn't actually have anyone specific in mind. Best wishes, Tony
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Well. I certainly should have recognized this. That's my long-time buddy, ha ha. GREAT lesson Mr. Tony!!!
Comment from LIJ Red
Impressive meter and rhymes, and overall a story full of images easy to visualize.
Sounds like something from the French Revolution that swam the Channel, an arrogant aristocrat brought to judgment. (and the women counted twenty-four.)
Excellent.
reply by the author on 26-Jun-2017
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Impressive meter and rhymes, and overall a story full of images easy to visualize.
Sounds like something from the French Revolution that swam the Channel, an arrogant aristocrat brought to judgment. (and the women counted twenty-four.)
Excellent.
Comment Written 26-Jun-2017
reply by the author on 26-Jun-2017
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Very many thanks for this review, Red, and interesting comments. Much appreciated! Best wishes, Tony
