Comment from Kerry Foley Robinson

Excellent

This is a fantastic free verse entry, my friend. It is very touching and heartfelt. You did it beautifully. Good luck to you!!! ~Kerry

 Comment Written 17-Jun-2017

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reply by the author on 17-Jun-2017

Thanks so much, Kerry.

reply by Kerry Foley Robinson on 17-Jun-2017

Your very welcome.

Comment from jaded831

Excellent

Dark, and expresses the word failure eloquently. I enjoyed reading your poem, it made me think. I like that. Your picture compliments your words. You are definitely not a failure, your poem is great. Thanks for sharing.

 Comment Written 17-Jun-2017

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reply by the author on 17-Jun-2017

Thanks for reading.
The poem is quite dark, but that's not how I feel. I just wrote it this way for the contest. ;)

Comment from Ruth M. Curtis

Excellent

I really like this poem. It illustrates so well the emotions and sadness of experiencing devastating failure. This poem captures the emotion of feeling lost in the void of lonely defeat. My favorite lines are, "A lost lamb in a field of thistles" and "I wanted to own the moon, But it's the black sky that owns me." These lines are so eloquently expressive and true to the experience. I (and I'm sure many others) can certainly relate to this in some way. One sign of a good poem is one that expresses, or evokes, emotions that your audience can relate to. Thanks for this poem. Well done!

 Comment Written 16-Jun-2017

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reply by the author on 17-Jun-2017

I'm glad you liked it. Thanks so much for reading.

Comment from zanya

Excellent

Yes I GUESS our youthful failures can make us feel dejected 'my feet got stuck in the mud'- an interesting reflection on failure and how it can impact on our lives - yet our failures spur us on

 Comment Written 16-Jun-2017

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reply by the author on 16-Jun-2017

Thanks for your review. I don't feel like this... but it's what was required for the contest. 😜

Comment from lalajovanoski

Excellent

I think that this poem about failure is well written and very true it is structured very nicely and I think that it will do really good in the contest good luck and thank you very much for sharing this

 Comment Written 15-Jun-2017

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reply by the author on 16-Jun-2017

Thanks for your kind review.

Comment from Alcreator Litt Dear

Excellent

This is a clear voice about failure; poet views state of failure appears a chance or fate beyond control; attempt to achieve dreams into reality is beyond his world; now no more dreams to make; I liked.

 Comment Written 15-Jun-2017

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reply by the author on 16-Jun-2017

Thanks. I'm glad you liked it.

Comment from His Grayness

Excellent

Sure it will do well in the contest as the rules demand a response of sorrow and negativity, which I typically don't like to see in poetry. This one fills the bill of the contest and I wish the author good luck for an excellent delivery! HIS GRAYNESS;
Vance

 Comment Written 15-Jun-2017

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reply by the author on 15-Jun-2017

Thanks for reading. I didn't mean to write something so negative, but it had to be about failure...

Comment from lotgrinder

Needs Improvement

I thought it was mostly shit, but I liked "The Piercing Pain Of A Loser," mainly because I am one and identified with that line. Good luck with the entry. You'll need it!

 Comment Written 15-Jun-2017

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reply by the author on 15-Jun-2017

My poetry might not be the best, but you definitely need to learn some manners. This is not constructive criticism. It's offensive.

reply by lotgrinder on 17-Jun-2017

You signed up to have your work critiqued. I critiqued it. And listen, your writing is shit. So is mine. Writing is what comes out of us when we've saved up so much shit inside us, we just gotta get it out. Some people'e shit comes out better and easier than others. Get it? You need to write when you have so many feelings pent up inside of you and let it all out. If you don't feel like you're about to burst with shit. Don't do it. It will come out bad. If you sit down and try to write a piece, it will usually look like just that, someone trying too hard, utter shit. And when you finally do produce a shit, don't be a bitch like a female cat and guard your shit. Just let it stay and lay as it be and don't care too much what someone who says "shit" so much says.

Comment from Thomas Bowling

Excellent

You've written a bittersweet poem. It expresses a lot of pathos. This is a terrific contest entry. Good luck in the contest. I wish you the best.

 Comment Written 15-Jun-2017

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reply by the author on 15-Jun-2017

Thanks for reading, Thomas.

Comment from Kingsland

Excellent

This is kind of a down piece of poetry with excellent imagery. We all have our days such as this one you wrote about here. I liked everything about this well-written and voiced piece of poetic art. It was my pleasure to have written this review for it... John

 Comment Written 15-Jun-2017

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reply by the author on 15-Jun-2017

Thanks for reading, John. I don't feel down or anything at the moment, but the topic of this contest was failure.