Perennials of War
Viewing comments for Chapter 28 "Chapter Neun part eine"Is Anderson a gallant knight? Can he recover Shan
36 total reviews
Comment from Mai Mai
This is a very interesting piece. While this is the first chapter I've read it reads pretty good. It's well written and I found no spags. Good job and good luck.
Mai Mai
reply by the author on 27-May-2017
  |
This is a very interesting piece. While this is the first chapter I've read it reads pretty good. It's well written and I found no spags. Good job and good luck.
Mai Mai
Comment Written 25-May-2017
reply by the author on 27-May-2017
-
Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from Cmelton
I like the story and did not see any mistakes. I like the tension in the story as well as the problem you present for your main character. I also like the pace of the story, it makes it very easy to read. I hope that I will see your work again soon.
reply by the author on 27-May-2017
|
I like the story and did not see any mistakes. I like the tension in the story as well as the problem you present for your main character. I also like the pace of the story, it makes it very easy to read. I hope that I will see your work again soon.
Comment Written 24-May-2017
reply by the author on 27-May-2017
-
I appreciate the kind review.
Comment from barkingdog
Not only is the Russian Mafia involved in Anderson's life, he may now have a problem with this ex-wife's behavior since the police have been called to her apartment several times. She certainly doesn't sound like a very attentive mother, not feeding Emily, and she's extremely rude, self-centered, and imposing.
Fine chapter. Added drama with Drew's ex.
Excellent info on human trafficking.
Have a great weekend, barbara.
:) e xx
reply by the author on 27-May-2017
 |
Not only is the Russian Mafia involved in Anderson's life, he may now have a problem with this ex-wife's behavior since the police have been called to her apartment several times. She certainly doesn't sound like a very attentive mother, not feeding Emily, and she's extremely rude, self-centered, and imposing.
Fine chapter. Added drama with Drew's ex.
Excellent info on human trafficking.
Have a great weekend, barbara.
:) e xx
Comment Written 24-May-2017
reply by the author on 27-May-2017
-
You described Patricia perfectly. Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from Meia (MESAYERS)
"It's not only girls. In countries like Thailand, many of the young males are sold into prostitution. Most countries, including the US, have problems with child prostitution but the main ones are Thailand, Brazil, India, Sri Lanka, and Mexico City. The Russian Mafias have their hands in all of it." Jeremy took a bite of a ham and cheese sandwich. "Starvation is a strong motivator."
Anderson glanced at his ringing cell. "Excuse me a minute." He stepped in the hall, but returned quickly. "Jeremy, I just got a name. The Art Museum's curator is Joshua Colton. Have you heard of him?"
"We've arrested him a few times but can't make anything stick. He seems to be a runner for the Odessa Mafia, but we can't prove it."
"I don't understand why these men would be following Shana over ownership of a painting. It doesn't make sense. Any ideas?" asked Philip.
This fascinating story brings up some harrowing issues, and does this tastefully and with excellent flow and makes for a great story. I always enjoy your writing Barbara well done. Kindest regards Meia x
reply by the author on 27-May-2017
|
"It's not only girls. In countries like Thailand, many of the young males are sold into prostitution. Most countries, including the US, have problems with child prostitution but the main ones are Thailand, Brazil, India, Sri Lanka, and Mexico City. The Russian Mafias have their hands in all of it." Jeremy took a bite of a ham and cheese sandwich. "Starvation is a strong motivator."
Anderson glanced at his ringing cell. "Excuse me a minute." He stepped in the hall, but returned quickly. "Jeremy, I just got a name. The Art Museum's curator is Joshua Colton. Have you heard of him?"
"We've arrested him a few times but can't make anything stick. He seems to be a runner for the Odessa Mafia, but we can't prove it."
"I don't understand why these men would be following Shana over ownership of a painting. It doesn't make sense. Any ideas?" asked Philip.
This fascinating story brings up some harrowing issues, and does this tastefully and with excellent flow and makes for a great story. I always enjoy your writing Barbara well done. Kindest regards Meia x
Comment Written 24-May-2017
reply by the author on 27-May-2017
-
I appreciate the kind review.
Comment from Ben Colder
I have not paid my dues yet so they give me no six I suppose. But will take care of it this week. Ben so busy trying to get this book ready for the publishers. I thought the Russina Maf- was involved at first now I see. Good one Barbara.
reply by the author on 27-May-2017
|
I have not paid my dues yet so they give me no six I suppose. But will take care of it this week. Ben so busy trying to get this book ready for the publishers. I thought the Russina Maf- was involved at first now I see. Good one Barbara.
Comment Written 23-May-2017
reply by the author on 27-May-2017
-
Just hearing from you is a a glowing six for me. Thank you and God Bless.
Comment from Janilou
It reads well and I didn't find any errors or typos. I'm a little confused as to what is happening but that is to be expected coming into the book at this point!
I read through a second time to see if I could find anything to comment on and did come up with this.
Anderson watched them until they were out of sight. "Sorry, for the interruption. Where were we?" He sat.
He sat. It feels like it's tacked on at the end, and I'm not certain it's relevant or needed. It did pull me out of the chapter. Perhaps make the sentence a little longer or add a description of what he sat down into?
Hope this helps.
Jan
reply by the author on 27-May-2017
|
It reads well and I didn't find any errors or typos. I'm a little confused as to what is happening but that is to be expected coming into the book at this point!
I read through a second time to see if I could find anything to comment on and did come up with this.
Anderson watched them until they were out of sight. "Sorry, for the interruption. Where were we?" He sat.
He sat. It feels like it's tacked on at the end, and I'm not certain it's relevant or needed. It did pull me out of the chapter. Perhaps make the sentence a little longer or add a description of what he sat down into?
Hope this helps.
Jan
Comment Written 23-May-2017
reply by the author on 27-May-2017
-
I will check that area. Thank you.
Comment from Heidi M
Oh, boy! Patricia walked in at the wrong time. I hope she gets caught for whatever it is she's been up to. Emily needs to be with her daddy permanently.
It will be interesting to find out exactly what connection Joshua Colton has with the mafia.
(Anderson's) eyebrows crunched
can I have a snack (?)
Sorry [,] for the interruption
reply by the author on 27-May-2017
|
Oh, boy! Patricia walked in at the wrong time. I hope she gets caught for whatever it is she's been up to. Emily needs to be with her daddy permanently.
It will be interesting to find out exactly what connection Joshua Colton has with the mafia.
(Anderson's) eyebrows crunched
can I have a snack (?)
Sorry [,] for the interruption
Comment Written 23-May-2017
reply by the author on 27-May-2017
-
I am made the corrections. Thank you for the catches.
Comment from Rasmine
Good chapter. :) Hope everything is going well in school.
The children must by excited about summer! I really miss the school atmosphere. Can't wait to get well and back there, hopefully. I only subbed, but now I can teach in a daycare.
Have fun with report cards.
reply by the author on 27-May-2017
|
Good chapter. :) Hope everything is going well in school.
The children must by excited about summer! I really miss the school atmosphere. Can't wait to get well and back there, hopefully. I only subbed, but now I can teach in a daycare.
Have fun with report cards.
Comment Written 23-May-2017
reply by the author on 27-May-2017
-
Thank you for the kind review. The kids are home for the summer. I just have teacher stuff to finish.
Comment from Nikki-Nicole
After reading this and looking at the image, I'm hungry.
Well-written chapter.
Nicely polished.
Good dialogue.
The author's notes are appreciated. Thank you.
Great artwork: The image shown is just right for the topic discussed. Those sandwiches look tasty. I want to make myself one. Unfortunately, I just realized that I have ham but no bread.
Thanks for sharing a part of your book.
Good luck with your future writing.
-Nicole-
reply by the author on 27-May-2017
|
After reading this and looking at the image, I'm hungry.
Well-written chapter.
Nicely polished.
Good dialogue.
The author's notes are appreciated. Thank you.
Great artwork: The image shown is just right for the topic discussed. Those sandwiches look tasty. I want to make myself one. Unfortunately, I just realized that I have ham but no bread.
Thanks for sharing a part of your book.
Good luck with your future writing.
-Nicole-
Comment Written 22-May-2017
reply by the author on 27-May-2017
-
Your review made me smile and giggle.
Comment from bhogg
Barbara - you are such a great writer. I appreciate your attention to detail. I would bet that you write your posts, print them out, read them, correct them, re-write them, . By the time we read them, they are perfect. I was so proud of myself a couple of years ago when I found three errors in your post.....Only to find out, you inadvertantly hit release. Also love that you're a dog lover. I'm without one right now and hate it!
Regards, Bill
reply by the author on 27-May-2017
|
Barbara - you are such a great writer. I appreciate your attention to detail. I would bet that you write your posts, print them out, read them, correct them, re-write them, . By the time we read them, they are perfect. I was so proud of myself a couple of years ago when I found three errors in your post.....Only to find out, you inadvertantly hit release. Also love that you're a dog lover. I'm without one right now and hate it!
Regards, Bill
Comment Written 22-May-2017
reply by the author on 27-May-2017
-
Thank you and I do edit a lot, but still often miss things. Thank you for the kind review.
