Unrequited love
Minute poem28 total reviews
Comment from rjuselius
this is a brilliant piece of romance poetry dear bucketlist! it flows perfectly and sticks to the topic in hand. from love to bust.
thank you for sharing!
good luck!
blessings and a big squeeze!
rebekka x
reply by the author on 06-Jul-2017
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this is a brilliant piece of romance poetry dear bucketlist! it flows perfectly and sticks to the topic in hand. from love to bust.
thank you for sharing!
good luck!
blessings and a big squeeze!
rebekka x
Comment Written 05-Jul-2017
reply by the author on 06-Jul-2017
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Thank you rebekka for a wonderful complimentary review. It means a lot to me that readers enjoy my poetry.
Virtual hugs, Trisha
Comment from Hansel1
I loved the rhyming scheme used. Although simple, your diction used carries such gravity with how concise each line reads. It certainly sets the stage for the impending end of the relationship.
It's unfortunate that relationships very seldom end mutually. There is always someone still invested. You did a fabulous job of quickly conveying the various stages of a relationship from beginning to end (initial lust, fading desire, end).
Thank you for sharing your work with us - Cheers!
reply by the author on 06-Jul-2017
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I loved the rhyming scheme used. Although simple, your diction used carries such gravity with how concise each line reads. It certainly sets the stage for the impending end of the relationship.
It's unfortunate that relationships very seldom end mutually. There is always someone still invested. You did a fabulous job of quickly conveying the various stages of a relationship from beginning to end (initial lust, fading desire, end).
Thank you for sharing your work with us - Cheers!
Comment Written 05-Jul-2017
reply by the author on 06-Jul-2017
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Sorry , I have to be corny - but is there a Gretal? Thank you so much for reviewing my poem. I love words too, and am glad you enjoyed my poem.That is my main goal - reader pleasure.
Comment from lyenochka
Great storytelling using the minute format! I do think it's a well known story that happens from lacking clear honest communication and willingness to forgive.
reply by the author on 06-Jul-2017
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Great storytelling using the minute format! I do think it's a well known story that happens from lacking clear honest communication and willingness to forgive.
Comment Written 05-Jul-2017
reply by the author on 06-Jul-2017
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I agree! Thanks so much for reading and reviewing
Trisha
Comment from nancyrabbrose
Your minute poem reads smoothly and romantically. Bittersweet, they say of unrequited love, but to love and lose is still better than never loving and your poem reminds us of that fact.
well done, my friend
reply by the author on 06-Jul-2017
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Your minute poem reads smoothly and romantically. Bittersweet, they say of unrequited love, but to love and lose is still better than never loving and your poem reminds us of that fact.
well done, my friend
Comment Written 05-Jul-2017
reply by the author on 06-Jul-2017
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Nancy, I am very appreciative of your kind review . The subject strikes a chord in many memories, my friend. I'm glad you enjoyed my minute poetry
Comment from Heather Knight
I love the fact that your poem tells a story. A story that, unfortunately, is very often true. There are lots of love stories that go sour after a while.
Thanks for sharing and good luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 05-Jul-2017
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I love the fact that your poem tells a story. A story that, unfortunately, is very often true. There are lots of love stories that go sour after a while.
Thanks for sharing and good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 05-Jul-2017
reply by the author on 05-Jul-2017
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I'm glad you didn't ignore it! Thanks for your review.
Comment from Nikki-Nicole
You've written a good poem.
After reading 'Unrequited Love', I find that it meets the requirements of the contest and makes a good entry.
The image shown supports the topic discussed. The background goes well with the art and color of font chosen.
Best of luck to you in the contest.
Thanks for sharing your Minute.
Good luck with your future writing.
-Nicole-
reply by the author on 05-Jul-2017
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You've written a good poem.
After reading 'Unrequited Love', I find that it meets the requirements of the contest and makes a good entry.
The image shown supports the topic discussed. The background goes well with the art and color of font chosen.
Best of luck to you in the contest.
Thanks for sharing your Minute.
Good luck with your future writing.
-Nicole-
Comment Written 05-Jul-2017
reply by the author on 05-Jul-2017
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Thanks Nikki, I appreciate your review. You are welcome
Comment from brooke harrison
what a wonderful piece of poetry!
i think that the use of rhythm within the poem really emphasizes the emotions you are trying to convey
i also enjoy how the poem tells a story through all three stanzas
reply by the author on 05-Jul-2017
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what a wonderful piece of poetry!
i think that the use of rhythm within the poem really emphasizes the emotions you are trying to convey
i also enjoy how the poem tells a story through all three stanzas
Comment Written 05-Jul-2017
reply by the author on 05-Jul-2017
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Hi Brook, what a lovely positive review! It is much appreciated. I'm so pleased you enjoyed reading the poem.
Comment from krys123
Cheers Bucketlist;
-I did not give you a 4 star rating because of the content and conceptual theme of your poem which I thought was exceptional. What the four-star rating is is the fact that you written your poem without being in iambic meter. For the first line is then iambic pentameter or tetrameter it has to be 10 or 8 lines in a specific meter.
The 4 syllable lines also need to be in iambic where the stress syllables on 2nd and 4th syllable.
-You handled the subject matter of unrequited love very well and the picture so supportive and relative to the conceptual theme of your writing.
-Good use of words explain metaphorically and specifically the reasoning behind unrequited love. Excellently done.
-Good luck in the contest but I would suggest changing it to iambic meter and take care and have a good one especially with all those that you love and care for dearly.
Alex
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 05-Jul-2017
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Cheers Bucketlist;
-I did not give you a 4 star rating because of the content and conceptual theme of your poem which I thought was exceptional. What the four-star rating is is the fact that you written your poem without being in iambic meter. For the first line is then iambic pentameter or tetrameter it has to be 10 or 8 lines in a specific meter.
The 4 syllable lines also need to be in iambic where the stress syllables on 2nd and 4th syllable.
-You handled the subject matter of unrequited love very well and the picture so supportive and relative to the conceptual theme of your writing.
-Good use of words explain metaphorically and specifically the reasoning behind unrequited love. Excellently done.
-Good luck in the contest but I would suggest changing it to iambic meter and take care and have a good one especially with all those that you love and care for dearly.
Alex
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 05-Jul-2017
reply by the author on 05-Jul-2017
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Dear Alex, whaaaaaat! Your in depth review was much appreciated, but caught me off guard because of " iambic meter". (I liked your positive comments). In 10 months of penning, not one person has mentioned that. I am open to improving, so I will work on that.
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Yes, I just learned about the iambic meter and Minute poems about 2 years ago. And it even mentions it in the contest requirements. Good luck and take care and have a good one.
Alex
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Alex, I reread the rules. There was no requirement for iambic meter in this contest. That's why I didn't get any comments from others! Someone wrote a thread about how confusing FS had made it. I couldn't find a closing date on it either.
Thanks again for your in depth review
Trisha
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I reread the review of the contest in your completely right and I stand corrected and I will review your rating. I'm very sorry that the contest rules were written to as not to have recognized iambic writing.
I am very sorry for my ineptness and please forgive me and take care and have a good one.
Alex
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Thank you very much
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You are very welcome my dear friend.
Alex
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Thanks friend
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And you are very welcome.
Alex
Comment from Pantygynt
This is an interesting use of the minute format. I often find in any strictly syllabic form that the short lines tend to be the strongest. With the longer linescapable a phrase comes to mind which, when coated as luck has it to be a syllable too short. The temptation then is to extend it to the right length with a pad of some description. I found this recently trying to write a cinquain.
I get the feeling that you may have had the same problem with the first line. Lose the "got" and you say the same thing. I would suggest you tried to find another way of getting to the magic eight syllables. Perhaps "When these two met their hearts enmeshed" might be more lyrical solution.
reply by the author on 05-Jul-2017
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This is an interesting use of the minute format. I often find in any strictly syllabic form that the short lines tend to be the strongest. With the longer linescapable a phrase comes to mind which, when coated as luck has it to be a syllable too short. The temptation then is to extend it to the right length with a pad of some description. I found this recently trying to write a cinquain.
I get the feeling that you may have had the same problem with the first line. Lose the "got" and you say the same thing. I would suggest you tried to find another way of getting to the magic eight syllables. Perhaps "When these two met their hearts enmeshed" might be more lyrical solution.
Comment Written 05-Jul-2017
reply by the author on 05-Jul-2017
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Thank you so much for your tutorial (but kind) review I will give my ' think tank' that challenge.
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Looking at what I appear to have writhen originally I think my auto correct may have been at work when I wasn't looking. I don't remember drinking anything that good. Sorry about that.
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I'm sorry you had to had to 'partake' after reading my poem! I expunged 'got" .......
Comment from sharonlshelley
lovely piece of work about love and realising its not so,its amazing how many different way love can be defined thanks for sharing your work with us Sharon
reply by the author on 04-Jul-2017
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lovely piece of work about love and realising its not so,its amazing how many different way love can be defined thanks for sharing your work with us Sharon
Comment Written 04-Jul-2017
reply by the author on 04-Jul-2017
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Thank you very much for the complimentary review. Rejection is always rough in any form and somehow the lovesickness makes it all worse.
