Comment from Dolly'sPoems

Excellent

A great tribute for Mother's Day and a beautiful bird alikened to your Mother's spirit! A joy for your to remember her by, I am sorry for your loss, best wishes, Dolly x

 Comment Written 13-May-2017

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reply by the author on 15-May-2017

Thank you for this five star review and for your comments supporting this Mother's Day poem. I think its simple but also very emotional, at least for me. thanks again for enjoying it estory

Comment from Sandra du Plessis

Excellent

A very well-written origami haiku. The spirit of your mom is free with God. She will have no more pain or memory loss, and she looks down on you from above.

 Comment Written 13-May-2017

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reply by the author on 15-May-2017

Thanks for the five star review and for your comments supporting this poem estory

Comment from Asem.inspirations

Excellent

This is a very nice poem in remembrance of your mother. I am so sorry for your loss. At least you have the good and great memories of her and of the times you have been together. I know that it really does not help when someone says what I just said but sometimes all we have are the memories.

 Comment Written 13-May-2017

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reply by the author on 15-May-2017

Thanks for the five star review and for your kind remarks and comments supporting this poem. It's always great to share emotions, I think it's what we're here for. I am glad that so many people could relate to this. My mother really got going in this writer's thing, encouraging me to read books like Black Beauty, The Chronicles of Narnia, Brains Benton mysteries, Poe, and so many others when I was a kid. estory

Comment from planetjanet

Excellent

Its beautiful; nice rhythm, good imagery.
I was able to conclude that it was a dedication in the first two lines. It was clarified in the last two: a spirit... lost in light.
I might have liked to see one more sequence to give it balance: 5 sequences of 5-7-3, and the second sequence line two has only 4 syllables.
Otherwise, its a lovely dedication, and a great poem.

 Comment Written 12-May-2017

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reply by the author on 15-May-2017

Thanks for the great review and for your interesting comments and suggestions. i'll have to take another look at that stanza. I thought I had it right. estory

Comment from loismddavis

Excellent

I did not count syllables as your poem had all of the qualities of a Haiku. What a beautiful tribute to your mother as you put your feelings into words. I loved the image of the soul as a red bird. good job

 Comment Written 12-May-2017

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reply by the author on 15-May-2017

Thanks for this five star review and your comments supporting this poem. I think I got the idea for this image from Native American folk lore. The Indians believed that the daughter of the sun god was killed by a viper, and her spirit returned to the Earth as the cardinal. estory

Comment from JanetRussek

Excellent

This piece deserves a 6, but sadly I don't have one. They say when you see a cardinal it's a sign of love from a lost loved one. I believe that. A lovely poem.
Warm Regards,
Janet

 Comment Written 12-May-2017

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reply by the author on 15-May-2017

Thanks for the great review and for your comments supporting the poem. You got this image exactly. estory

Comment from Badger_29

Excellent

Simply splendid. I am certain that your mother enjoyed this, in her flight. I love this style that you have developed. There is a lot of depth here, I liked the transition from flight to light, a metamorphosis.
You weaved this with style, class, and elegance.

Blessings,

Brother Badger

 Comment Written 12-May-2017

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reply by the author on 15-May-2017

Thanks for the great review and for your wonderful comments supporting this poem. You got exactly what I was trying to do with the form and the style, and the images. So I am glad you enjoyed it and that the efforts were successful. estory

Comment from Natalie Walker

Excellent

These are nice origami haiku poems. It's neat that you came up with your own form, I like it.

I think "dancing over these fields" is only six syllables.

Other than that, I didn't notice any errors or typos.

Nice work!

 Comment Written 12-May-2017

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reply by the author on 15-May-2017

Thanks for the great review and your encouraging comments. I have to edit that six syllable line, I think I left an adjective out inadvertently. But I like the idea of throwing the rigidity of this traditional, classical form just a tad off balance, and that's how I came up with 5-7-3 stanza. estory

Comment from RodG

Excellent

Your sequence of haikus gives us a vivid snapshot of first the actual bird and then its spiritual manifestation of your mother's spirit. I especially like the imagery in haiku #3. Rod

 Comment Written 12-May-2017

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reply by the author on 15-May-2017

Thanks for the great review and your wonderful comments supporting this poem. Glad you enjoyed it so much estory

Comment from Nikki-Nicole

Excellent

You've written a good poem.
I especially like the lines: 'A woman in flight,
A spirit of the morning,
Lost in light.'- It reminds me of my grandmother, Grand. She was suffering from a series of strokes when she died.
The author's notes are appreciated. Thank you.
--I'm sorry to hear about your Mom.
Thanks for sharing your poetry.
Good luck with your future writing.
-Nicole-

 Comment Written 12-May-2017

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reply by the author on 15-May-2017

Thanks for the great review and all your supportive comments. I'm sure my mom is in a better place. She had a lot faith. She never gave up on me. I guess that's a trait of motherhood. Nobody loves you like your mom. estory