2017 JAPANESE POETRY
Viewing comments for Chapter 27 "Linked Tanka (Mom's letter to us)"A collection of Japanese poetry
28 total reviews
Comment from Giddy Nielsen-Sweep
I really enjoyed this, especially the humour in it. Is this the end of it or can it go on further and will Hitcher respond? I've always wanted to write a renga with somebody. I've done Imperial Court Tanka and enjoy that very much. Giddy
reply by the author on 12-May-2017
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I really enjoyed this, especially the humour in it. Is this the end of it or can it go on further and will Hitcher respond? I've always wanted to write a renga with somebody. I've done Imperial Court Tanka and enjoy that very much. Giddy
Comment Written 11-May-2017
reply by the author on 12-May-2017
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We completed the poem today. I think you read it out of sequence. Thank you very much, my friend. I appreciate you reading and reviewing my work.
Gypsy
Comment from padumachitta
hi..this is fun and a great way to egg each other on. i like that the stroy is taking place and alive(do you know a song called Good Bye earl?)...
Thankyyou both for this , it is what this site can be about...encouraging each other and becoming writing friends,..
padumachitta
reply by the author on 11-May-2017
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hi..this is fun and a great way to egg each other on. i like that the stroy is taking place and alive(do you know a song called Good Bye earl?)...
Thankyyou both for this , it is what this site can be about...encouraging each other and becoming writing friends,..
padumachitta
Comment Written 11-May-2017
reply by the author on 11-May-2017
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Hello, the mother was very unhappy because her husband was molesting her daughters so she committed suicide but did it in a way that he will be killed and he will stop abusing the girls. She left a letter for the girls letting them know the stew was poisoned. The girls hid her body.
Thank you very much for reading and reviewing our tanka/story in a poem.
Gypsy Blue Rose
Fanstory Instructor
Member of Haiku Society of America
Haiku 101 in June
Comment from Joan E.
Yes, it is fascinating how this tale of abuse is evolving. Thanks for continuing to share your linked tanka project. Hope to continue to have internet service, as I am en route to Cuba- Joan
reply by the author on 11-May-2017
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Yes, it is fascinating how this tale of abuse is evolving. Thanks for continuing to share your linked tanka project. Hope to continue to have internet service, as I am en route to Cuba- Joan
Comment Written 10-May-2017
reply by the author on 11-May-2017
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Thank you very much for reading and reviewing our tanka/story in a poem. Have a fun and safe trip. :)
Gypsy Blue Rose
Fanstory Instructor
Member of Haiku Society of America
Haiku 101 in June
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This trip is an easy one--we cruise from Jamaica to Cuba for a week's visit. Thanks for the bon voyage- Joan
Comment from Sandra du Plessis
A very well-written Tanka. The whole story seems to cine together nicely little by little. Mom had a great plan to stop Pa's abuse, poison in the stew will put an end to that.
reply by the author on 10-May-2017
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A very well-written Tanka. The whole story seems to cine together nicely little by little. Mom had a great plan to stop Pa's abuse, poison in the stew will put an end to that.
Comment Written 10-May-2017
reply by the author on 10-May-2017
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Thank you very much for reading my poem. Your kindness is appreciated, my friend.
Gypsy
Comment from Mark Valentine
I had been away from the site for a while, so I'm just now seeing these - what a cool idea with a great end product! I've done this with a friend (fellow Fanstorian Bill McKenzie) before -it's sort of like improv poetry. It seems like it took an abrupt sinister turn with the fourth part ("mother lying motionless") and you didn't miss a beat in following that narrative.
The imagery is sublime - the father going on about his business while his wife lies dead on the floor -the mom making the ultimate sacrifice to protect her children. I noticed that the last stanza was written in a 5-7-5 format - very fitting for you. Excellent!
reply by the author on 10-May-2017
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I had been away from the site for a while, so I'm just now seeing these - what a cool idea with a great end product! I've done this with a friend (fellow Fanstorian Bill McKenzie) before -it's sort of like improv poetry. It seems like it took an abrupt sinister turn with the fourth part ("mother lying motionless") and you didn't miss a beat in following that narrative.
The imagery is sublime - the father going on about his business while his wife lies dead on the floor -the mom making the ultimate sacrifice to protect her children. I noticed that the last stanza was written in a 5-7-5 format - very fitting for you. Excellent!
Comment Written 10-May-2017
reply by the author on 10-May-2017
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Hello, Mark, I write three lines and Hitcher follows with two. :) Thank you for the generous six stars. Thank you very much for reading my poem. Your kindness is appreciated, my friend.
Gypsy
Comment from Mrs Happy Poet
Oh yes my friend this is well done a good continuation from the last it was a brief letter but says all it needed to well done regards Jill
reply by the author on 10-May-2017
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Oh yes my friend this is well done a good continuation from the last it was a brief letter but says all it needed to well done regards Jill
Comment Written 10-May-2017
reply by the author on 10-May-2017
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Thank you very much for reading my poem. Your kindness is appreciated, my friend.
Gypsy
Comment from Irish Rain
I like this. She may have died...but she cooked a delightfully deserved stew first. I can see a mother doing this to protect her kids, if she's gonna die anyway...do something huge that matters. Wonderful, blessings...
reply by the author on 10-May-2017
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I like this. She may have died...but she cooked a delightfully deserved stew first. I can see a mother doing this to protect her kids, if she's gonna die anyway...do something huge that matters. Wonderful, blessings...
Comment Written 10-May-2017
reply by the author on 10-May-2017
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Thank you very much for reading my poem. Your kindness is appreciated, my friend.
Gypsy
Comment from Margaret Snowdon
Mom's letter to us
was brief, "Don't eat supper!"
Pa won't touch us again
Yikes! this stirs the imagination, Gypsy - very clever...
but I won't be popping round to share supper.
Margaret
reply by the author on 10-May-2017
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Mom's letter to us
was brief, "Don't eat supper!"
Pa won't touch us again
Yikes! this stirs the imagination, Gypsy - very clever...
but I won't be popping round to share supper.
Margaret
Comment Written 10-May-2017
reply by the author on 10-May-2017
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Thank you very much for reading my poem. Your kindness is appreciated, my friend.
Gypsy
Comment from Heather Knight
I'm enjoying your poem very much. It tells a very interesting story. I'm looking forward to reading the next bit.
Thanks for sharing.
reply by the author on 10-May-2017
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I'm enjoying your poem very much. It tells a very interesting story. I'm looking forward to reading the next bit.
Thanks for sharing.
Comment Written 10-May-2017
reply by the author on 10-May-2017
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Thank you very much for reading my poem. Your kindness is appreciated, my friend.
Gypsy
Comment from Mark Schardine
I guess Agatha Christie would take an interest in this story. If caught, the perpetrator may very well plead justifiable homicide of an abusive person.
reply by the author on 10-May-2017
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I guess Agatha Christie would take an interest in this story. If caught, the perpetrator may very well plead justifiable homicide of an abusive person.
Comment Written 10-May-2017
reply by the author on 10-May-2017
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Agatha Christie? Wow, thank you for thinking she would be interested in our story. Thank you very much for reading my poem. Your kindness is appreciated, my friend.
Gypsy