The Hideaway
Flash Fiction20 total reviews
Comment from w.j.debi
Nicely done. No wonder you won the contest. Excellent job creating characters that are interesting and easy to relate to. The remote setting gives a sense time and place that could be past, present or future, but seems like you walk right into it now. Well done.
reply by the author on 18-May-2017
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Nicely done. No wonder you won the contest. Excellent job creating characters that are interesting and easy to relate to. The remote setting gives a sense time and place that could be past, present or future, but seems like you walk right into it now. Well done.
Comment Written 17-May-2017
reply by the author on 18-May-2017
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Thanks so much for this kind review.
Comment from bichonfrisegirl
Congrats on you win, frogbook!
This was such an interesting story. Given the restrictions of the word count, you did a terrific job in developing your characters and immediately creating empathy for this pair of buddies. You created excellent imagery for your reader. I really enjoyed this entertaining read. Such a creative premise to have a scientist make a talking dog.
I could really envision this as a great novel or a movie if expanded on. Luv it! ~ ~ Connie
reply by the author on 17-May-2017
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Congrats on you win, frogbook!
This was such an interesting story. Given the restrictions of the word count, you did a terrific job in developing your characters and immediately creating empathy for this pair of buddies. You created excellent imagery for your reader. I really enjoyed this entertaining read. Such a creative premise to have a scientist make a talking dog.
I could really envision this as a great novel or a movie if expanded on. Luv it! ~ ~ Connie
Comment Written 17-May-2017
reply by the author on 17-May-2017
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Thanks so much. Your thoughtful review is truly appreciated.
Comment from jusylee72
What an unusual and fascinating read. I understand why it won the contest. It starts with intrigue and questions then produces new ones at the end. I had already bonded with these two when sadly they killed themselves. Thank you for a great story.
reply by the author on 15-May-2017
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What an unusual and fascinating read. I understand why it won the contest. It starts with intrigue and questions then produces new ones at the end. I had already bonded with these two when sadly they killed themselves. Thank you for a great story.
Comment Written 15-May-2017
reply by the author on 15-May-2017
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Thanks so much for this wonderful reating. I am so pleased you enjoyed.
Comment from Luvs2rite4u
I was drawn into this story with your very good writing skills.
I could actually see each character, Great descriptive presence. Also, I felt emotions that you have skillfully handled with great care. Luvs
reply by the author on 15-May-2017
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I was drawn into this story with your very good writing skills.
I could actually see each character, Great descriptive presence. Also, I felt emotions that you have skillfully handled with great care. Luvs
Comment Written 14-May-2017
reply by the author on 15-May-2017
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What a lovely review and generous rating. Thank you so much!
Comment from dragonpoet
Congrats on the contest win.
This compact and well written story tells of a man who lived his life and died the way he wanted. It shows what a good man that he was that he felt guilty about putting others in danger. He also saved others in the future from living the life he had to and never using his experiment as a weapon.
Keep writing
dragonpoet
reply by the author on 15-May-2017
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Congrats on the contest win.
This compact and well written story tells of a man who lived his life and died the way he wanted. It shows what a good man that he was that he felt guilty about putting others in danger. He also saved others in the future from living the life he had to and never using his experiment as a weapon.
Keep writing
dragonpoet
Comment Written 13-May-2017
reply by the author on 15-May-2017
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Thanks so much for reading and this thoughtful review.
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My pleasure.
dp
Comment from barkingdog
Excellent entry and well deserving of the Flash Fiction win.
I really related to the characters an their devotion to each other and sympathized with their need to hide and in the end continue to hide Doc's invention with their ultimate self-sacrifice.
Congratulations!!!!
:) e
reply by the author on 15-May-2017
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Excellent entry and well deserving of the Flash Fiction win.
I really related to the characters an their devotion to each other and sympathized with their need to hide and in the end continue to hide Doc's invention with their ultimate self-sacrifice.
Congratulations!!!!
:) e
Comment Written 13-May-2017
reply by the author on 15-May-2017
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Thanks so much for your very generous review as well as relating to the characters as that is a great compliment. I rather liked them myself-LOL
Comment from Contests
reply by the author on 15-May-2017
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 A contest winning entry! A seven star rating from the Contest Committee for posting the winning contest entry. |
Comment Written 13-May-2017
reply by the author on 15-May-2017
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Wow, thanks. I Love it!!
Comment from Mabaker
I hope you win the contest. That was wonderful. Very well written and I enjoyed it so much. Thank you for your great imagination. I would like you to consider writing a longer story on the Doctor and Bella. I wrote a story it was something like yours but not nice. Yours was.
reply by the author on 12-May-2017
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I hope you win the contest. That was wonderful. Very well written and I enjoyed it so much. Thank you for your great imagination. I would like you to consider writing a longer story on the Doctor and Bella. I wrote a story it was something like yours but not nice. Yours was.
Comment Written 12-May-2017
reply by the author on 12-May-2017
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Ha. Many of my stories are "not nice" also-haha. Thanks much for the great comments.
Comment from F. Wehr3
Good piece of flash fiction. I enjoyed your story of the scientist and talking dog. I found a few things for your consideration.
One could almost hear old bones clacking as he walked--Clacking is usually associated with a sharp sounds. Maybe creaking instead?
"What??" the two old friends said together.--Please delete the extra question mark. Also, saying something in unison is a rare occurrence. Suggest one or the other.
"Oh no, child, we could never involve another person." It was Bella who spoke.--I paused on this because it almost works like a speech tag. It seems thrown for word count purposes.
I am so sorry about our devoted, Steven, but we can't ask anyone to help."--Suggest no comma before Steven.
Bella couldn't jump up on her own any more so he lifted her onto her quilt. --Suggest comm before your conjunction so.
"Good night, my sweet, Bella."--Suggest no comma after sweet.
Overall, I think you have a well crafted story and very creative. Best of luck in the contest.
Take care,
Russell
reply by the author on 11-May-2017
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Good piece of flash fiction. I enjoyed your story of the scientist and talking dog. I found a few things for your consideration.
One could almost hear old bones clacking as he walked--Clacking is usually associated with a sharp sounds. Maybe creaking instead?
"What??" the two old friends said together.--Please delete the extra question mark. Also, saying something in unison is a rare occurrence. Suggest one or the other.
"Oh no, child, we could never involve another person." It was Bella who spoke.--I paused on this because it almost works like a speech tag. It seems thrown for word count purposes.
I am so sorry about our devoted, Steven, but we can't ask anyone to help."--Suggest no comma before Steven.
Bella couldn't jump up on her own any more so he lifted her onto her quilt. --Suggest comm before your conjunction so.
"Good night, my sweet, Bella."--Suggest no comma after sweet.
Overall, I think you have a well crafted story and very creative. Best of luck in the contest.
Take care,
Russell
Comment Written 11-May-2017
reply by the author on 11-May-2017
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Thanks so much for your kind review as well as the thoughtful suggestions.
Comment from Phyllis Stewart
Sad ending. I was hoping they'd win this endless battle.
had not seen the only man, that knew <-- Remove comma.
You have a lot of misplaced commas. YOu should study this site: http://grammar.ccc.commnet.edu/grammar/commas.htm
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 11-May-2017
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Sad ending. I was hoping they'd win this endless battle.
had not seen the only man, that knew <-- Remove comma.
You have a lot of misplaced commas. YOu should study this site: http://grammar.ccc.commnet.edu/grammar/commas.htm
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 11-May-2017
reply by the author on 11-May-2017
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Thanks.
