Reviews from

Missing Dad

A Tyburn

3 total reviews 
Comment from LisaD123
Excellent
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This is an entertaining read and I enjoyed the originality of the idea. I'm not sure if this will get past the committee as the adjectives should be completely within syllables 5-8 in the last two lines according to the examples. Good luck for the contest.

 Comment Written 06-May-2017


reply by the author on 06-May-2017
    Tyburns are not easy. Gave it my best shot anyway.
reply by the author on 06-May-2017
    Fixed it:

    Fishing
    Wishing
    Dishing
    Swishing


    When I go fishing I'm wishing Dad
    will soon be dishing my swishing shad
Comment from rspoet
Excellent
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This could be a slid entry for the contest but it needs some correction
The syllables are fine at 2, 2, 2, 2, 9, 9.
but the five through eight repeats are off
Should be something like:
When I hear the fishing, swishing sound
the last line must end in 'wishing, dishing' and a one syllable word also
You can switch the position of the words if you like
Excellent picture to match
With changes, an excellent entry
Good luck

 Comment Written 06-May-2017


reply by the author on 06-May-2017
    Thanks for the suggestions!
Comment from Mustang Patty
Excellent
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thank you for sharing this charming poem. I've never heard of this poetic form before, and it certainly looks more challenging than the instructions may indicate. You have managed to make it look easy! Good luck in the contest,
~patty~

 Comment Written 06-May-2017


reply by the author on 06-May-2017
    Thank you. It's challenging. But fun!