Act of Endurance
Viewing comments for Chapter 23 "Spider and the Fly"Dawn of Chaos
26 total reviews
Comment from Benny Beeharry
This honestly a bit difficult for me but I try to plough through and glean a few gems very good poetry.
Fly and spider on the web.
One would think that the fly is done for.
Benny Beeharry
reply by the author on 03-May-2019
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This honestly a bit difficult for me but I try to plough through and glean a few gems very good poetry.
Fly and spider on the web.
One would think that the fly is done for.
Benny Beeharry
Comment Written 03-May-2019
reply by the author on 03-May-2019
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Still working on my presentation of thoughts, glad aspects in this write were captivating to your interests, thanking you for your generous rate and touching views.
Comment from heavenempress
Hi, nice piece of poetry and you have an excellent power of imagination. excellent presentation and nice image. All the best. Your poetry was clear and easy to follow. Have never come across a big, white spider web because most I see are dust coloured. All the best
reply by the author on 03-May-2019
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Hi, nice piece of poetry and you have an excellent power of imagination. excellent presentation and nice image. All the best. Your poetry was clear and easy to follow. Have never come across a big, white spider web because most I see are dust coloured. All the best
Comment Written 03-May-2019
reply by the author on 03-May-2019
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Heavy words conveyed about this write, pleased aspects were appealing to your interests, thanking you for your generous rate and touching thoughts.
Comment from Ricky1024
This was well-written I thoroughly enjoyed the flow and it wasn't easy read.
the objective and subjective contents were both excellent and in place.
Descriptive measures lined up perfectly.
Thanks for this and have a blessed day.
Dr. Ricky 1024
reply by the author on 03-May-2019
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This was well-written I thoroughly enjoyed the flow and it wasn't easy read.
the objective and subjective contents were both excellent and in place.
Descriptive measures lined up perfectly.
Thanks for this and have a blessed day.
Dr. Ricky 1024
Comment Written 03-May-2019
reply by the author on 03-May-2019
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I still have flaws, learning of these pits for a better presentations in my writes. Thanking you for your generous rate and warm sentiments.
Comment from Liz O'Neill
This poem has a very unique perspective. It is if we are inside the minds of each character. We feel we are in the web, not caught just observing. This is a strong metaphor, a cautionary for the reader to hopefully heed. This would fit well with the genre which calls for debate. You bring the reader to the side of the fly by calling her such an endearing name as Dot and yet that name becomes an element of foreshadowing. This is very well thought out. I was a teacher so I think of that when I'm reviewing. I have to give you A+.
reply by the author on 27-Apr-2019
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This poem has a very unique perspective. It is if we are inside the minds of each character. We feel we are in the web, not caught just observing. This is a strong metaphor, a cautionary for the reader to hopefully heed. This would fit well with the genre which calls for debate. You bring the reader to the side of the fly by calling her such an endearing name as Dot and yet that name becomes an element of foreshadowing. This is very well thought out. I was a teacher so I think of that when I'm reviewing. I have to give you A+.
Comment Written 27-Apr-2019
reply by the author on 27-Apr-2019
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You blew my mind, doing grammatic revisions on my writes, appreciating this complimentary viewpoint of yours, thanking you for your generous rate and warm sentiments.
Comment from JanPerry
It's quite full of action. The verbs sprinkle throughout the poem in a detached fashion. "can't soar I forth" is nonsensical. To have fun with you is OK.
The detached words need more action. Like more "abrupt" sounds, as the spider devours the fly.
reply by the author on 27-Apr-2019
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It's quite full of action. The verbs sprinkle throughout the poem in a detached fashion. "can't soar I forth" is nonsensical. To have fun with you is OK.
The detached words need more action. Like more "abrupt" sounds, as the spider devours the fly.
Comment Written 27-Apr-2019
reply by the author on 27-Apr-2019
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Good feel will consider, making revisions thanks to comments. Glad aspects in this write were captivating to your interests. Appreciating your generous rate and welcomed comments.
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Ok. Thanks.
Comment from Marjorie Burghdoff-Banks
What a fun poem! I, myself, dislike spiders very much, they are so creepy, but I really enjoyed reading about your spider. The flow was great, the descriptions clear and vivid. Well done!
reply by the author on 27-Apr-2019
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What a fun poem! I, myself, dislike spiders very much, they are so creepy, but I really enjoyed reading about your spider. The flow was great, the descriptions clear and vivid. Well done!
Comment Written 26-Apr-2019
reply by the author on 27-Apr-2019
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Touching statements by you, trying to get a better grasp in my write, thanking all reviewers for supporting me: as your generous rate.
Comment from Beri Bee
Oh, this is rich! I'm glad I found your poetry! Will bookcase it and read it again. Maybe we're all the fly at one time or another. Wonderfully wrought!
reply by the author on 25-Apr-2019
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Oh, this is rich! I'm glad I found your poetry! Will bookcase it and read it again. Maybe we're all the fly at one time or another. Wonderfully wrought!
Comment Written 25-Apr-2019
reply by the author on 25-Apr-2019
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Glad aspects in this write were captivating to your interests, thanking you for your generous rate and welcomed comments.
Comment from Kamisah Karim
I enjoyed your poem. The message presented in a simple story to show how a foolish act of boasting can cause you dearly. A good way in making a change in others.Congratulation to you.I will be sure to weigh the possible outcomes, just incase I have to battle an opponent. Research them first of abilities and skills. Better be prepared than dying knowing that I could have prevented it..Lol..
reply by the author on 25-Apr-2019
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I enjoyed your poem. The message presented in a simple story to show how a foolish act of boasting can cause you dearly. A good way in making a change in others.Congratulation to you.I will be sure to weigh the possible outcomes, just incase I have to battle an opponent. Research them first of abilities and skills. Better be prepared than dying knowing that I could have prevented it..Lol..
Comment Written 24-Apr-2019
reply by the author on 25-Apr-2019
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Beautiful comment, dieing not dying so I'm told, back to this write, pleased you captured the write intent, assuming a good shout by statement. Thanking you for your generous rate and welcomed comments.
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You are very welcome TPAC.
Comment from KyColonel Randal
This poem has a syntax problem; the same as others mentioned previously. I do believe the illustration is much more appropriate (or relevant) with this poem than in the one previously reviewed. "The Spider and the Fly" is the name of a rather famous poem; I'm not sure if you intended that association. Thank you for sharing your poem.
reply by the author on 25-Apr-2019
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This poem has a syntax problem; the same as others mentioned previously. I do believe the illustration is much more appropriate (or relevant) with this poem than in the one previously reviewed. "The Spider and the Fly" is the name of a rather famous poem; I'm not sure if you intended that association. Thank you for sharing your poem.
Comment Written 23-Apr-2019
reply by the author on 25-Apr-2019
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No, surprised to hear only one other poem, admiting flaws, revisions aid through comments like yours, thanking you for generous rate and touching views.
Comment from Donka Kristeva
A lot of hunter-hunted games in this life-and-death tale. Your words are intricate as if knitting a web themselves, At times it is difficult to follow but this may be your style.
reply by the author on 23-Apr-2019
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A lot of hunter-hunted games in this life-and-death tale. Your words are intricate as if knitting a web themselves, At times it is difficult to follow but this may be your style.
Comment Written 23-Apr-2019
reply by the author on 23-Apr-2019
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No more like my lack in communicating views, working on those flaws to present a more coherent read. Thanking you for your generous rate dispute those set backs.
