A Long Career
Assasinate me a thriller contest16 total reviews
Comment from WalkerMan
Congratulations on your win with this well-plotted story of an assassin with a redeeming conscience at career's end. Sometimes, the client is indeed more deserving of eradication than the target. The dialog is plausible, and the plot twist is well handled. Well done, and aptly illustrated.
reply by the author on 19-Apr-2017
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Congratulations on your win with this well-plotted story of an assassin with a redeeming conscience at career's end. Sometimes, the client is indeed more deserving of eradication than the target. The dialog is plausible, and the plot twist is well handled. Well done, and aptly illustrated.
Comment Written 18-Apr-2017
reply by the author on 19-Apr-2017
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Thanks so much for the great suggestions. No problem with these comments but I will try and get them done by the end of this week. I am a bit far behind!!
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You are welcome, JoAnn. I'll check from time to time; and when I see the corrections I'll revise the review, as is my custom. -- Mike
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Hi, JoAnn. I see you have already fixed the typos, so I have revised the review. -- Mike
Comment from Mustang Patty
Your flash thriller does a good job of building the story to a fevered pitch, and winding down to death. The assassin is tired of his job and decides to end it all. Thank you for sharing and good luck in the contest,
~patty~
reply by the author on 18-Apr-2017
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Your flash thriller does a good job of building the story to a fevered pitch, and winding down to death. The assassin is tired of his job and decides to end it all. Thank you for sharing and good luck in the contest,
~patty~
Comment Written 16-Apr-2017
reply by the author on 18-Apr-2017
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Thanks so much for reading.
Comment from Rhonni
Fantastic writing, I love the story. Congrats on your win as well. From beginning to end, I was enthralled in the story and then, of the assassin taking his own life after finishing off the dirty guy who hired him...awesome finish!
reply by the author on 18-Apr-2017
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Fantastic writing, I love the story. Congrats on your win as well. From beginning to end, I was enthralled in the story and then, of the assassin taking his own life after finishing off the dirty guy who hired him...awesome finish!
Comment Written 15-Apr-2017
reply by the author on 18-Apr-2017
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Thanks so much. I truly appreciate my favorite green star.
Comment from giraffmang
Hi there,
Nice piece. Well written and the voice of the main character is strong. The pacing is good and tells a firm solid story in the allotted wordage allowance.
All the best
G
reply by the author on 18-Apr-2017
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Hi there,
Nice piece. Well written and the voice of the main character is strong. The pacing is good and tells a firm solid story in the allotted wordage allowance.
All the best
G
Comment Written 15-Apr-2017
reply by the author on 18-Apr-2017
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Thanks Much GM. Truly appreciate you reading.
Comment from judiverse
Interesting thriller. There are some tasks that are too much even for the professional assassin. He's been up to the job until he is asked to kill mother and child. Don't blame him for not going through with it. Is this a case of professional burn-out? You keep the reader's attention. judi
reply by the author on 18-Apr-2017
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Interesting thriller. There are some tasks that are too much even for the professional assassin. He's been up to the job until he is asked to kill mother and child. Don't blame him for not going through with it. Is this a case of professional burn-out? You keep the reader's attention. judi
Comment Written 14-Apr-2017
reply by the author on 18-Apr-2017
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Thanks so much for reading.
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You're very welcome. Interesting twist to your story which I liked. judi
Comment from BeasPeas
Definitely a rewarding twist where the bad man is redeemed. Interesting and well described. Much luck in the contest with this good entry. Marilyn
reply by the author on 18-Apr-2017
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Definitely a rewarding twist where the bad man is redeemed. Interesting and well described. Much luck in the contest with this good entry. Marilyn
Comment Written 14-Apr-2017
reply by the author on 18-Apr-2017
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Thanks so much for reading and commenting!
Comment from emptypage
Oh, nice twist at the end, completely unexpected and true to the story.
How nice to find a hit man with a boundary, a killer with a conscience.
Really good job for five hundred words or fewer.
reply by the author on 18-Apr-2017
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Oh, nice twist at the end, completely unexpected and true to the story.
How nice to find a hit man with a boundary, a killer with a conscience.
Really good job for five hundred words or fewer.
Comment Written 14-Apr-2017
reply by the author on 18-Apr-2017
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Thanks so much for reading and your thoughtful comments.
Comment from kathleenspalding
Awesome ending! Very well written story! Just a couple typos.
...give me a look(delete comma, grammar thing) that...
I shrug(period instead of comma)
...pictures first(period instead of comma)...
...both (him instead of he) and his partner.
reply by the author on 18-Apr-2017
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Awesome ending! Very well written story! Just a couple typos.
...give me a look(delete comma, grammar thing) that...
I shrug(period instead of comma)
...pictures first(period instead of comma)...
...both (him instead of he) and his partner.
Comment Written 14-Apr-2017
reply by the author on 18-Apr-2017
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Thanks much, I will definitely get back to correct those soon.
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You're welcome
Comment from apky
Wow, you did a great job with this short prose.
Without mentioning anything directly your prose tells
it all. The bad guys, the good, the motivations, the niggling conscious -
in short, the human condition. And what a surprise ending!
Happy Easter,
Apky
reply by the author on 14-Apr-2017
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Wow, you did a great job with this short prose.
Without mentioning anything directly your prose tells
it all. The bad guys, the good, the motivations, the niggling conscious -
in short, the human condition. And what a surprise ending!
Happy Easter,
Apky
Comment Written 14-Apr-2017
reply by the author on 14-Apr-2017
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Much appreciate you reading and such kind and encouraging comments.
Comment from Nikki-Nicole
So, the assassin is going to assassinate himself!
This beats all.
Great artwork: The image of the lovely home is a perfect match for this story.
Best of luck to you in the contest!
Thanks for sharing your story.
Good luck with your future writing!
-Nicole-
reply by the author on 14-Apr-2017
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So, the assassin is going to assassinate himself!
This beats all.
Great artwork: The image of the lovely home is a perfect match for this story.
Best of luck to you in the contest!
Thanks for sharing your story.
Good luck with your future writing!
-Nicole-
Comment Written 14-Apr-2017
reply by the author on 14-Apr-2017
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Thanks so much for reading and your thoughtful comments.
