Humanity Project
Viewing comments for Chapter 20 "Flight From the Road"A science fiction book about genetic engineering.
29 total reviews
Comment from Walu Feral
Kumusta Ma'am.
Now comes one of the "fun" parts (or as they would say here... "pun farts".) of the journey. I remember how afraid I was, in a confident sort of way, when they sent me out on my own to catch the snakes for that trial. You have to learn fast.)
There are many methods for procuring drinking water. Here is one example... if you need more let me know.
The shower curtain could be useful here...
The Desert Still
"Dig a hole approximately 1m x 1m x 60cm deep, line the hole with non-poisonous vegetation and place a container in the centre with a piece of rubber tubing leading from the container out of the hole for use as a drinking straw. Cover the hole with a clear plastic sheet and seal around the edges with soil from the hole. The plastic sheet should be weighted with a stone placed in the centre so it forms an inverted cone to allow condensed water to run into the centre on the underside of the plastic and drip into the container.
The desert still method will work without the drinking straw, however to collect the water the edges of the plastic must be lifted allowing moisture-laden air to escape. The foliage will need to be replaced when water production falls off. Care should be taken that the plastic sheet does not touch the foliage as this will prevent the condensed water from running into the container. Additional fluid such as salt water from salt lakes, urine, etc. can be added to the hole."
"A soft glow from Sani's torch illuminated the landscape" (Is that a "bush torch"? If so it would be a great idea to explain how it was made and by who.)
"and might just find a degree of normalcy out here." ( There's that word again. What is normal?)
"Whatever," Ayala said. She punched his arm playfully. "I'm sort of glad we found you in the desert after your wreck." (Ahhhh, I knew she would fall for him hahahahaha!)
"Really?" Archie said. "I have a few bruises to prove otherwise." (lol)
"While I appreciate that you kids are feeling better, I think it's time to dig shelter and set up our water still. Dawn will be here soon." (Yes, someone has to be in charge... or "normal!")
"Both the mesquite and the sage bush have a lot of uses ie: medicines. They could also use both to line the walls and prevent cave ins. Also for the desert still."
Fantastic, sis. It is so cool to see the two of them getting on and I have a feeling, in my loins, that there is more to come lol.
Great job.
Cheers Fez
reply by the author on 30-Apr-2017
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Kumusta Ma'am.
Now comes one of the "fun" parts (or as they would say here... "pun farts".) of the journey. I remember how afraid I was, in a confident sort of way, when they sent me out on my own to catch the snakes for that trial. You have to learn fast.)
There are many methods for procuring drinking water. Here is one example... if you need more let me know.
The shower curtain could be useful here...
The Desert Still
"Dig a hole approximately 1m x 1m x 60cm deep, line the hole with non-poisonous vegetation and place a container in the centre with a piece of rubber tubing leading from the container out of the hole for use as a drinking straw. Cover the hole with a clear plastic sheet and seal around the edges with soil from the hole. The plastic sheet should be weighted with a stone placed in the centre so it forms an inverted cone to allow condensed water to run into the centre on the underside of the plastic and drip into the container.
The desert still method will work without the drinking straw, however to collect the water the edges of the plastic must be lifted allowing moisture-laden air to escape. The foliage will need to be replaced when water production falls off. Care should be taken that the plastic sheet does not touch the foliage as this will prevent the condensed water from running into the container. Additional fluid such as salt water from salt lakes, urine, etc. can be added to the hole."
"A soft glow from Sani's torch illuminated the landscape" (Is that a "bush torch"? If so it would be a great idea to explain how it was made and by who.)
"and might just find a degree of normalcy out here." ( There's that word again. What is normal?)
"Whatever," Ayala said. She punched his arm playfully. "I'm sort of glad we found you in the desert after your wreck." (Ahhhh, I knew she would fall for him hahahahaha!)
"Really?" Archie said. "I have a few bruises to prove otherwise." (lol)
"While I appreciate that you kids are feeling better, I think it's time to dig shelter and set up our water still. Dawn will be here soon." (Yes, someone has to be in charge... or "normal!")
"Both the mesquite and the sage bush have a lot of uses ie: medicines. They could also use both to line the walls and prevent cave ins. Also for the desert still."
Fantastic, sis. It is so cool to see the two of them getting on and I have a feeling, in my loins, that there is more to come lol.
Great job.
Cheers Fez
Comment Written 30-Apr-2017
reply by the author on 30-Apr-2017
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Thanks, Padna, for stars and review!
Thanks for the 'still advice. I'll fix that later, as well. I see a book dedication on this one!
Also good advice on the brush. My former adviser never mentioned that. haha.
I need advice on making the torch, because it is a bush torch, only I left instructions out because I didn't know.
Yes, Archie and Ayala are starting to cook up something there. I mean, it was inevitable, right??
Thanks again, Padna.
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What we used to mostly use was a length of thick wood about 3 feet long and 3 inches diameter and tie some damp vines around one end and smothered in bees wax. The fire would last about 20-30 minutes and then we'd build the vines and put more wax. We used to carry hot coals with use to light fires and torches. That was our main method. Having said that, we didn't travel at night all that often, unless we were hunting.
Comment from LaRosa
This chapter is so very well written. You describe the desert in such a way that the reader feels she's there with your characters. I'm sorry, I've been behind on reading and reviewing, but will read all your chapters right away to catch up. Good stuff.
'Koko cut her eyes over at Archie.' (nice expression)
Ah, nothing like 'a cool breeze wafting across sweat dampened skin' !
I'm thinking about Ayala's comments about her parents not being 'real' parents but 'house parents who were only interested in our daily care and education'. So many real parents are like that also. Interesting to see parallels going on here...
And then the idea that one must focus on the present and not the past which can't be changed. Good follow-up statement by Archie
Human Characteristics: curiosity and the need to be free and the constant life-lessons being taught in your story are perfectly placed and so nicely expressed. I love it all.
reply by the author on 27-Mar-2017
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This chapter is so very well written. You describe the desert in such a way that the reader feels she's there with your characters. I'm sorry, I've been behind on reading and reviewing, but will read all your chapters right away to catch up. Good stuff.
'Koko cut her eyes over at Archie.' (nice expression)
Ah, nothing like 'a cool breeze wafting across sweat dampened skin' !
I'm thinking about Ayala's comments about her parents not being 'real' parents but 'house parents who were only interested in our daily care and education'. So many real parents are like that also. Interesting to see parallels going on here...
And then the idea that one must focus on the present and not the past which can't be changed. Good follow-up statement by Archie
Human Characteristics: curiosity and the need to be free and the constant life-lessons being taught in your story are perfectly placed and so nicely expressed. I love it all.
Comment Written 26-Mar-2017
reply by the author on 27-Mar-2017
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Thank you, LaRosa! I so appreciate your comments. They were very helpful.
You're right about real parents being that way, sometimes, as well. Archie and Ayala will continue to parallel their lives, at least until they cross paths!!
Take care,
Rhonda
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:)
Comment from rspoet
The desert is a dry and dangerous place to be;
it's good Sani knows a bit about survival.
This is a good chapter, as we get to learn
a little more about the individuals.
Ayala is now called "sweetheart" in a gentle, fatherly way by Sani.
I'm not so sure Archie is right about the attitude of his father
and others to the residents of Hokee.
Genetic manipulation is unknown territory with unknown consequences.
Some people won't even get near genetically engineered crops.
To build a still, sounds like a chemistry teacher's assignment. LOL
Give me a sweet juicy cactus.
Well done, my friend!
reply by the author on 24-Mar-2017
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The desert is a dry and dangerous place to be;
it's good Sani knows a bit about survival.
This is a good chapter, as we get to learn
a little more about the individuals.
Ayala is now called "sweetheart" in a gentle, fatherly way by Sani.
I'm not so sure Archie is right about the attitude of his father
and others to the residents of Hokee.
Genetic manipulation is unknown territory with unknown consequences.
Some people won't even get near genetically engineered crops.
To build a still, sounds like a chemistry teacher's assignment. LOL
Give me a sweet juicy cactus.
Well done, my friend!
Comment Written 24-Mar-2017
reply by the author on 24-Mar-2017
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Thank you for the brilliant end of the week six stars. I ran out on Monday, and I am usually so careful!
Yes, the chemistry teacher in me is showing! haha.
As usual, you have deep insight into books, and you show it here as well. There is more to the story with Archie's father, but I'll tell you no more!!
Sani is a loving guy, and is trying to draw Ayala into the team with endearments, and giving her responsibilities. More on that later, too!!
Thanks again,
Rhonda
Comment from apky
"I guess men never grow up in your world, either?"
"Not if we can help it," Archie admitted.
~ reminded me of the very same saying in Luoland - that men are "muscled infants".
>>There is a lot of different types of experimentation where we try to "cure" what we don't understand. It is my intention to use a fantasy environment to teach cultural tolerance, while telling a yarn. Thank you to those of you who look beyond the story. << ~ I can only say Amen!
Thanks for a wonderful story and an even more wonderful cause, author.
~Apky
reply by the author on 24-Mar-2017
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"I guess men never grow up in your world, either?"
"Not if we can help it," Archie admitted.
~ reminded me of the very same saying in Luoland - that men are "muscled infants".
>>There is a lot of different types of experimentation where we try to "cure" what we don't understand. It is my intention to use a fantasy environment to teach cultural tolerance, while telling a yarn. Thank you to those of you who look beyond the story. << ~ I can only say Amen!
Thanks for a wonderful story and an even more wonderful cause, author.
~Apky
Comment Written 24-Mar-2017
reply by the author on 24-Mar-2017
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Thank you for the wonderful review, Apky, and for the great commentary. I look forward to you reviewing more chapters!!
Take care,
Rhonda
Comment from Rasmine
Hello, again.
Nice to catch up with this amazing story. Very good planning--thank you for sharing.
"Well, I hope you know what you're doing with it, Archie, because you told me we might have to distill our urine to drink," Koko said (gross, but it's a guy saying it, so understandable :P).
I like this sentence: In spite of her consolatory words, a playful smile danced about her lips, and her eyes sparkled with amusement.
Have a good weekend. :)
reply by the author on 24-Mar-2017
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Hello, again.
Nice to catch up with this amazing story. Very good planning--thank you for sharing.
"Well, I hope you know what you're doing with it, Archie, because you told me we might have to distill our urine to drink," Koko said (gross, but it's a guy saying it, so understandable :P).
I like this sentence: In spite of her consolatory words, a playful smile danced about her lips, and her eyes sparkled with amusement.
Have a good weekend. :)
Comment Written 24-Mar-2017
reply by the author on 24-Mar-2017
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Thank you so much, Rasmine. Actually I researched for this book under a survivalist, and he said that people often have to do this, or drink it if it's still fresh. This was a nod to his teaching. However, I'd have to be pretty darn desperate to do it!!
Thanks for the words of encouragement.
You have a great weekend as well!!
Take care,
Rhonda
Comment from Thomas Bowling
An excellent story. Your style is excellent. Your writing is easy to read. I will try to read whatever you post. Your writing is unique and interesting.
reply by the author on 23-Mar-2017
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An excellent story. Your style is excellent. Your writing is easy to read. I will try to read whatever you post. Your writing is unique and interesting.
Comment Written 23-Mar-2017
reply by the author on 23-Mar-2017
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Thank you, Thomas. I appreciate your support,
Rhonda
Comment from XGoneX
Hello. The plot is very interesting and it seems like the kind of book I enjoy reading. Poor people named after animals. I hope they succeed in escaping and that Koko can save her child and find her husband.
reply by the author on 23-Mar-2017
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Hello. The plot is very interesting and it seems like the kind of book I enjoy reading. Poor people named after animals. I hope they succeed in escaping and that Koko can save her child and find her husband.
Comment Written 23-Mar-2017
reply by the author on 23-Mar-2017
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Actually, the people are part of an experiment where a tiny bit of animal DNA is mixed with human. They were kept isolated in a compound until the President's son happened on them, and helped two escape.
I'm glad you enjoyed it!
Take care,
Rhonda
Comment from w.j.debi
You have some nice interplay between your characters in a needed quiet moment. They've seen a lot of action lately, and are certain to see more. Some emotional connections seem to be forming, and who knows where things may go from here.
reply by the author on 22-Mar-2017
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You have some nice interplay between your characters in a needed quiet moment. They've seen a lot of action lately, and are certain to see more. Some emotional connections seem to be forming, and who knows where things may go from here.
Comment Written 22-Mar-2017
reply by the author on 22-Mar-2017
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You made it to the last one, yea!!!
Again, you were able to pick up on hidden cues! I am so excited to have someone read through like that. Let me know if there are any alignment issues. Once on my Daredevil Girl stories, I had a character start talking who had already left the room. haha. My mother caught that one.
A huge thank you!
Rhonda
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You are most welcome. I do prefer to read several chapters together, just for the continuity. It is easier to follow the story.
Comment from Douglas Paul
Another great chapter my friend. I like the way this story is progressing and the way you are slowly revealing more background about the main characters. Well done
reply by the author on 22-Mar-2017
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Another great chapter my friend. I like the way this story is progressing and the way you are slowly revealing more background about the main characters. Well done
Comment Written 22-Mar-2017
reply by the author on 22-Mar-2017
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Thank you, Douglas!!
I was afraid this chapter was too much of an info dump, but I guess this late in the game, it wouldn't be considered that. Anyway, I so appreciate the 6 stars, my friend!! You've uplifted my day!!
My regards to the badger,
Rhonda
Comment from Mustang Patty
Thank you for sharing this well thought out book. It is easy to see why you are currently holding the #3 place on the novelist ranking. Your prose flow well, and the reader is treated to a cohesive tale that flows through your words. I will try to go back and read the previous chapters, but your summary did a good job of getting me up to speed,
~patty~
reply by the author on 22-Mar-2017
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Thank you for sharing this well thought out book. It is easy to see why you are currently holding the #3 place on the novelist ranking. Your prose flow well, and the reader is treated to a cohesive tale that flows through your words. I will try to go back and read the previous chapters, but your summary did a good job of getting me up to speed,
~patty~
Comment Written 22-Mar-2017
reply by the author on 22-Mar-2017
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Thank you, Patty! You are too kind. I get lots of help from readers to tweak the chapters, and that is more than helpful!! Coming from you, I find this a great compliment since you are such a good writer, yourself! Isn't this site great?
Take care, my friend,
Rhonda
