Comment from Mabaker

Excellent

Don't you just hate that condescending curl of the lip? They know so much more than the yokels! Serve them right they may have learnt a lesson in manners, doubt it though. Sincerely Mabaker

 Comment Written 12-Mar-2017

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reply by the author on 12-Mar-2017

Thank you for your comments. Those guys had it coming and they got it.

Comment from Thesis

Excellent

This is a good entry to the contest. I liked how you described the cocky bunch from the city. Their cavalier attitude and behavior could have had serious impacts if they or the horses were hurt because of their stupidity. You told the story well.

 Comment Written 11-Mar-2017

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reply by the author on 12-Mar-2017

Thank you for reading and commenting. They deserved what they got.

Comment from MelB

Excellent

but we had a suspicion it was a yellow jacket nest one of the animals stepped in. - (B)ut,

Us low-life country folk did our best to hide our amusement - Us, amusement(.)

I'm glad no one was hurt. I think they did need a lesson in humility and I think God gave it to them. LOL

 Comment Written 11-Mar-2017

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reply by the author on 12-Mar-2017

Thanks for the catches. Sometimes I get in too big of a hurry and make stupid mistakes. I will edit and correct.

Comment from emptypage

Excellent

Hahahaha...that IS funny.

I hate to see anyone in pain, especially animals. And yellow jackets equal pain. Those boys learned something important, for certain. I'm glad no one died, or else I couldn't laugh, and you'd be entering this piece in a different contest!

I really have great disdain for anyone who thinks him/herself better than others. I'm glad those boys got a little payback.

 Comment Written 11-Mar-2017

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reply by the author on 11-Mar-2017

Thank you. No one laughed until we found out everyone was fine. The horses never did get stung, they were just scared.

Comment from kriver

Excellent

Hi,
Your story made me sorry for the horses
not the kids.
The bees probably saved the horses a hard time
with those teens.
I'm glad they got nailed.
Best regards,
K River

 Comment Written 11-Mar-2017

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reply by the author on 11-Mar-2017

Thank you. I'm not sure this really belongs in this contest, but we did laugh after finding no one was hurt.

Comment from royowen

Excellent

I really enjoyed your entry in this "make me laugh-out-loud" entry in this writing contest. This is a winner in my book, yes why teens seem to think they are both bullet proof and God's gift to idiot populations of the world is beyond me! Well done, an excellent designed story, no spags or hiccups detected, well done, blessings, Roy

 Comment Written 11-Mar-2017

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reply by the author on 11-Mar-2017

Thank you for reading and commenting. After we realized no people or horse were injured, we really had a good laugh over the incident. You had to see the shape those smart asses were in to appreciate the humor.

reply by royowen on 11-Mar-2017

Well done

Comment from Hitcher

Excellent

Not just for horses and wasps but also for the older and wiser folk who know more than they ever will. I can imagine the scene playing out for all of you and the bewildered look on your faces as it all unfolded and I can definitely understand why it would have brought tears to your eyes later. Cool story

 Comment Written 11-Mar-2017

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reply by the author on 11-Mar-2017

Thank you. Yep, later we laughed ourselves silly over the plight of those smart-aleck know it all characters. They treated us like we were dirt under their feet because they were big city and we were country bumpkins.

Comment from lyenochka

Excellent

Hopefully, they learned a lesson. I wonder why city teens would be so confident about their horse riding skills. This is a fun story and my favorite part was the description of the kids running back and rolling on the ground.
Minor points:
"SilVer Lake, " (does the V need to be capitalized?)
" off. but " (capital B for the new sentence.

 Comment Written 11-Mar-2017

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reply by the author on 11-Mar-2017

Thank you. One had to witness the scene to fully appreciate how funny it was. Thanks for the catch, I will edit and correct.

Comment from Heidi M

Excellent

I hope they learned their lesson! I would imagine that was quite funny to witness, especially since no one was seriously harmed. I wonder if any of them ever went horseback riding again.

This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.

 Comment Written 11-Mar-2017

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reply by the author on 11-Mar-2017

Thank you for reading and commenting. It was hilarious to witness the scene on the hill. I'm glad not horses or kids got hurt.