2017 JAPANESE POETRY
Viewing comments for Chapter 9 "haiku ( ivy and skyrise )"A collection of Japanese poetry
21 total reviews
Comment from angel123
Your city poem is interesting and well-written. Your artwork choice goes well with your message and I particularly like your last sentence being a vegetarian myself. Good luck in the contest.
angel123
reply by the author on 20-Feb-2017
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Your city poem is interesting and well-written. Your artwork choice goes well with your message and I particularly like your last sentence being a vegetarian myself. Good luck in the contest.
angel123
Comment Written 19-Feb-2017
reply by the author on 20-Feb-2017
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Thank you. I am happy that you like it. I appreciate that you took the time to savor the essence and understand the form.
Gypsy hugs
Comment from l.raven
OMG Gypsy, I hate when anything grows on the house...or even close...bugs and mold set in...I love your poem Queen of haiku...and what a picture...very well written...love ya you...Linda xxoo
reply by the author on 20-Feb-2017
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OMG Gypsy, I hate when anything grows on the house...or even close...bugs and mold set in...I love your poem Queen of haiku...and what a picture...very well written...love ya you...Linda xxoo
Comment Written 19-Feb-2017
reply by the author on 20-Feb-2017
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You know that it's a real picture? It's in Paris. They are building skyscrapers covered in vines to help the air and ecology. Cool.
I luv ya, thank you for reading my stuff. I got third place :)
Gypsy hugs
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CONDRATULATIONS...better than I got...I paid and didn't even get in the contest...LOL...love ya so...and your soooooo welcome...xxoo big Linda hugs back at ya...
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Contests don't mean much in fanstory. Your work is always wordy of recognition and praise. That's what matters.
Luv ya
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smiling at ya you...love you...xxoo
Comment from Ulla
Hola Gitana, I liked it very much. And I hope you do well in the contest. I'm late at everything at the moment. Just don't have the time it seems. Also need a bit of time off to do my own thing. Un abrazo de tu amiga Ulla:)))
reply by the author on 20-Feb-2017
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Hola Gitana, I liked it very much. And I hope you do well in the contest. I'm late at everything at the moment. Just don't have the time it seems. Also need a bit of time off to do my own thing. Un abrazo de tu amiga Ulla:)))
Comment Written 19-Feb-2017
reply by the author on 20-Feb-2017
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Hola, guapa,
Thank you. I am happy that you like it. I appreciate that you took the time to savor the essence and understand the form.
Gypsy hugs
Comment from Mrs Happy Poet
Yes I liked the originality of this haiku you have done well to create this piece showing how creativity can be shown using this form I enjoyed regards Jill
reply by the author on 20-Feb-2017
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Yes I liked the originality of this haiku you have done well to create this piece showing how creativity can be shown using this form I enjoyed regards Jill
Comment Written 19-Feb-2017
reply by the author on 20-Feb-2017
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Thank you. I am happy that you like it. I appreciate that you took the time to savor the essence and understand the form.
Gypsy hugs
Comment from Joan E.
Thank you for sharing the other-worldly photograph from Paris and your whimsical moment of insight in this 5-8-3 haiku. You followed the rules to the letter and this entry should be well recognized in the contest. Best wishes- Joan
reply by the author on 19-Feb-2017
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Thank you for sharing the other-worldly photograph from Paris and your whimsical moment of insight in this 5-8-3 haiku. You followed the rules to the letter and this entry should be well recognized in the contest. Best wishes- Joan
Comment Written 18-Feb-2017
reply by the author on 19-Feb-2017
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Hello, Joan. :)
Thank you for the review and kind words.
Gypsy
Comment from Unspoken94
I am amused with veggie wrap. Yes, the picture
seems to suggest such a meal. Thank you for giving
us one with humor. -Bill
reply by the author on 19-Feb-2017
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I am amused with veggie wrap. Yes, the picture
seems to suggest such a meal. Thank you for giving
us one with humor. -Bill
Comment Written 18-Feb-2017
reply by the author on 19-Feb-2017
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Thank you for the review and kind words, Bill.
Gypsy
Comment from krys123
Greetings, Gypsy;
-I like the intertwining convolution of your satori, "veggie wrap" and the use of the picture which more than likely and definitely shows this type of context and understanding in a visual manner.
-"ivy and skyline coexistent eco-balance", again as I saw in Douglas's haiku I just don't understand why the double hyphens are used at the end of the word balance just like in his poem use that after his second line as it is well-known that the following satori comes afterwards and definitely has a direct connection. Also I believe you're missing a hyphen between eco and balance.
-All in all with the total composition of the picture in the haiku which haiku could stand alone, most definitely, this is a most obviously superb and appropriate haiku for the contest of urban haiku's.
-Good luck in the contest and may you blossom with votes.
Alex
reply by the author on 19-Feb-2017
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Greetings, Gypsy;
-I like the intertwining convolution of your satori, "veggie wrap" and the use of the picture which more than likely and definitely shows this type of context and understanding in a visual manner.
-"ivy and skyline coexistent eco-balance", again as I saw in Douglas's haiku I just don't understand why the double hyphens are used at the end of the word balance just like in his poem use that after his second line as it is well-known that the following satori comes afterwards and definitely has a direct connection. Also I believe you're missing a hyphen between eco and balance.
-All in all with the total composition of the picture in the haiku which haiku could stand alone, most definitely, this is a most obviously superb and appropriate haiku for the contest of urban haiku's.
-Good luck in the contest and may you blossom with votes.
Alex
Comment Written 18-Feb-2017
reply by the author on 19-Feb-2017
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Eco balance can be written both ways- Source: http://anno2070.wikia.com/wiki/Ecobalance
Definition by an eco balance site:
"Ecobalance (also Eco Balance) is a measure of the effect your buildings and actions have on the environment. Most Tycoon Buildings have a negative effect on the Ecobalance, but a rare few have a positive one. Most Eco Buildings have a negligible effect, while some even have a strong positive effect".
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The two dashes are called "kireji" a pause cutting word.
The kireji (cutting word or phrase) in Japanese poetry is very distinct and has a very distinct use.
The kireji is a set of symbol(s) such as: " -- ", " ... ", ":", and such.
Source= the haiku foundation.
https://www.thehaikufoundation.org/forum_sm/index.php?topic=717.15
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Pictures, paintings, calligraphy, have been used along with haiku for centuries. It's a way to beautify your haiku and there is nothing wrong with that. You used them all the time.
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Why are you so thinking one is belligerent when one is simply not saying that he knows everything just using it from the English standpoint not from a Japanese standpoint so I stand corrected but not belligerent. You and I have crossed many parents many times and if you have it out for me so be it. But to think I'm questioning a haiku master, as you think of yourself, then you are incorrect. I am not questioning you or your haiku I just looked at it from an English standpoint is why you used to hyphens and you come back at me like a weapon. You couldn't come back like a feather but you chose to be a rock and a rock you choose to be. That is said to me I always thought you were a feather. Take care and have a good one and God bless.
Alex
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If you use my words correctly I use the word I believe not that you were wrong I use the words I believe not that you are bad. I also mentioned that this was totally superb and you come back at me like a weapon!? You confuse the hell out of me.
Alex
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One last thing, I wasn't correcting you are used to with "I believe" and you took it is though "you should". If you are feeling threatened by me then you shouldn't. Read the words correctly "I believe" not "you are wrong". Don't feel threatened people love you.
Alex
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LOL Your comments .... many by the way... made me laugh.
I am not threatened at all. Nothing could be further to the truth than that.
Comment from MizKat
Hi Gypsy,
You sure are great at writing this style of poetry that you do so well.
I always look forward to reading what you will be writing.
My favorite kind of poem to write is about Jesus and God.
Kat
reply by the author on 20-Feb-2017
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Hi Gypsy,
You sure are great at writing this style of poetry that you do so well.
I always look forward to reading what you will be writing.
My favorite kind of poem to write is about Jesus and God.
Kat
Comment Written 18-Feb-2017
reply by the author on 20-Feb-2017
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thank you
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You're welcome.
Comment from Dorothy Farrell
Gypsy - this is absolutely great. The perfect haiku for the 'City' contest. Lines one and two perfectly interconnected and your satori is great using metaphor. Good luck in the contest. Warm regards Dorothy x If I had a 6 you would been given it!
reply by the author on 18-Feb-2017
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Gypsy - this is absolutely great. The perfect haiku for the 'City' contest. Lines one and two perfectly interconnected and your satori is great using metaphor. Good luck in the contest. Warm regards Dorothy x If I had a 6 you would been given it!
Comment Written 18-Feb-2017
reply by the author on 18-Feb-2017
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Thank you, Dorothy, you are super kind and I love your review. Thank you honey.
Gypsy hugs
Gypsy Blue Rose
Fanstory Haiku Teacher
Member of the Haiku Society of America
New Haiku Class Every Month
Comment from Chrissy710
Yes Thats it Great I love it Gypsy Straight away can see the Satori very clever. Nice work a worthy six Cheers Christine
reply by the author on 18-Feb-2017
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Yes Thats it Great I love it Gypsy Straight away can see the Satori very clever. Nice work a worthy six Cheers Christine
Comment Written 18-Feb-2017
reply by the author on 18-Feb-2017
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Thank you very much sweetie pie. I love getting sixes. I don't get too many of those. You and Lura prompted the change.
Thank you, you are super kind and I love your review.
Gypsy hugs
Gypsy Blue Rose
Fanstory Haiku Teacher
Member of the Haiku Society of America
New Haiku Class Every Month
