Comment from Caressa_08

Excellent

Interesting read, simple and yet a very nice on, which some of us most likely, will think of a love story
Hope to read more of your poetry...And welcome back to FanStory, hopefully, we can learn from your poetry.

Caressa_08

 Comment Written 10-Feb-2017

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reply by the author on 11-Feb-2017

Thanks for the five stars and your encouraging comments. It is not really a love story, but a homage to fishermen, and women, those who work with the sea, and their connections to the sea, spiritually, emotionally, economically. as the notes state, this was heavily influenced by Seamus Heaney, a master of matching the music of language with the action depicted in the words. Are you familiar with Heaney? estory

reply by Caressa_08 on 12-Feb-2017

No, I hope to learn more about Seamus Heaney and thanks for letting me know about this great poet. Appreciate very much your in depth reply...C.

reply by the author on 13-Feb-2017

You can pick up a great anthology of his first four books, Poems 1965-1975; it contains Death of a Naturalist, Door into the Dark, Wintering Out and North. Barnes and Noble should have it, or you can get it online story.

reply by Caressa_08 on 13-Feb-2017

Thanks for the info...C.

Comment from Sandra du Plessis

Excellent

A very well-written poem and an interesting twist on the haiku format. It seems like a combination of haiku and loom poetry.

 Comment Written 09-Feb-2017

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reply by the author on 09-Feb-2017

thank you for the five stars and your encouraging comments. I wanted to throw the balance a little off with that three syllable last line and I like the idea of a sequence of haiku stanzas, with the last image of one stanza setting off the first image of the next, and ending back at the beginning, coming full circle and making an endlessly repeating cycle. estory

Comment from plinny

Good

This was a well written poem. I am not an expert on poetry but this was interesting and has a gentle tone.
Good luck with your writing.

 Comment Written 07-Feb-2017

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reply by the author on 08-Feb-2017

Thank you for your good review. what did you not like about it? estory

Comment from Irish Rain

Excellent

This is beautiful. It does have an ethereal feel to it, I can see it continuing. I love the raindrop, and the moonlight. This is quite magical, blessings...

 Comment Written 07-Feb-2017

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reply by the author on 08-Feb-2017

thank you for your five star review. I am glad you enjoyed it and that the images and structure seem to work estory

Comment from Thal1959

Excellent

An interesting approach to the Haiku form, though I am not sure it can be called a variation of Haiku as the Kigo and Satori are not present. I would consider it a variation of a tercet. But it is well done as it is.

 Comment Written 07-Feb-2017

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reply by the author on 08-Feb-2017

thank you for your five star review and your interesting comments. I will need to research kigo and satori estory

reply by Thal1959 on 08-Feb-2017

You're welcome - it was my pleasure.

Comment from JACK2

Excellent

Very good example of a original haiku format not always easy to accomplish when the poet is trying to convey there message. You did a great job using very descriptive words to bring this one to the readers good job. coop

 Comment Written 07-Feb-2017

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reply by the author on 08-Feb-2017

Thanks for the five star review and your encouraging comments estory

reply by JACK2 on 08-Feb-2017

Your welcome. coop

Comment from Mitchell Brontė

Excellent

That moment, beautiful, really enjoyed this and so clever....a wonderful Origami Haiku Sequence.
Very well done.
Thanks for sharing

 Comment Written 07-Feb-2017

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reply by the author on 08-Feb-2017

thanks for the five star review and your encouraging comments estory

Comment from RodG

Excellent

I like the haiku suite form you invented. What you seem to have achieved is a kind of slow time lapse photography as we experience what these lovers shared in the rain, in the forest, in the moonlight, alone.

 Comment Written 07-Feb-2017

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reply by the author on 08-Feb-2017

thanks for the five star review and your encouraging comments. I think I was able to convey the exact sensation that I was trying to get across and I am happy that the poem made this connection estory

Comment from prettybluebirds

Excellent

Excellent. The poem flows from one stanza to the next in an excellent manner. It was interesting and easy to follow and understand. Good work.

 Comment Written 07-Feb-2017

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reply by the author on 08-Feb-2017

thanks for the five star review and your encouraging positive feedback flow is important to me and I am glad you verified that it was successful in that regard. estory