Farmer's Only.com
January 24, 201634 total reviews
Comment from mvbrooks
This is well-written. The storyline is compelling and the writing style is easy to read while also being almost lyrical. The narrator seems natural and it does feel like we are almost present, experiencing the scene with these two characters. Their dialogue rings true as well.
I truly enjoyed reading this story.
I especially liked:
I smiled and dropped some range cubes on the floor of the trailer. Without a moment's hesitation, she hopped in and began eating the cow candy.
--clear explanation of "range cubs" and "cow candy."
"
Just a thought:
Wayne laughed, then went inside the trailer to close an inner gate and separate Annie. (since Annie is the only one in the trailer at this point, it might help to add "what" you are separating Annie from-- another stall?, etc)
"He didn't ... but did finally load."
--need a "subject" i the second part of the sentence--add "he"
He didn't...but he did finally load
Just a note--there are no spaces between the letters of the word and the ellipse:
didn't...but
reply by the author on 27-Jan-2017
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This is well-written. The storyline is compelling and the writing style is easy to read while also being almost lyrical. The narrator seems natural and it does feel like we are almost present, experiencing the scene with these two characters. Their dialogue rings true as well.
I truly enjoyed reading this story.
I especially liked:
I smiled and dropped some range cubes on the floor of the trailer. Without a moment's hesitation, she hopped in and began eating the cow candy.
--clear explanation of "range cubs" and "cow candy."
"
Just a thought:
Wayne laughed, then went inside the trailer to close an inner gate and separate Annie. (since Annie is the only one in the trailer at this point, it might help to add "what" you are separating Annie from-- another stall?, etc)
"He didn't ... but did finally load."
--need a "subject" i the second part of the sentence--add "he"
He didn't...but he did finally load
Just a note--there are no spaces between the letters of the word and the ellipse:
didn't...but
Comment Written 26-Jan-2017
reply by the author on 27-Jan-2017
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Thank you for your six star rating, and great suggestions! I was told by another reviewer I was supposed to put the space before the elipses, which I didn't think I did, so thanks for the clarification.
Have a great weekend,
Rhonda
Comment from emptypage
Rhonda, this is by far the best piece of yours I've read. I love the humor, the taut, nerve-crushing tension, the resolution, everything. I adore creative nonfiction anyway, but this one has oomph.
I might suggest using grandbaby as one word instead of two. I know the red line of misspelling shows up when you do, but since granddaughter and grandson are considered one word (each, lol), I'm certain editors would see grandbaby as one word, also.
Thanks for sharing this. What a miracle you survived!
I'm glad you did.
reply by the author on 27-Jan-2017
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Rhonda, this is by far the best piece of yours I've read. I love the humor, the taut, nerve-crushing tension, the resolution, everything. I adore creative nonfiction anyway, but this one has oomph.
I might suggest using grandbaby as one word instead of two. I know the red line of misspelling shows up when you do, but since granddaughter and grandson are considered one word (each, lol), I'm certain editors would see grandbaby as one word, also.
Thanks for sharing this. What a miracle you survived!
I'm glad you did.
Comment Written 26-Jan-2017
reply by the author on 27-Jan-2017
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Thank you for the wonderful six stars, and for the kind words. I've always wanted to use the word, grandbaby as one as well. Good suggestion!!
It was a tough time, but I slugged my way through (with lots of support).
Have a great weekend,
Rhonda
Comment from WritingFencer
Wow. I'm glad your healing from that but my god. I haven't actually come across a story like that from any newspapers or late night graphic "this is what happened" shows but the way you write it makes it seem like it was pulled straight from a book. Your descriptive and storytelling style of writing draws you in almost instantly. If not for your incredible way of describing the event, the fact that you survived this ordeal alone is a frontrunner for the contest. Beautifully done. Sometimes the most difficult things that happen to us are the easiest to write because when viewing them as a story they don't even seem real. I don't know if that was the case with this one but regardless I applaud you for finally feeling ready to share it.
reply by the author on 27-Jan-2017
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Wow. I'm glad your healing from that but my god. I haven't actually come across a story like that from any newspapers or late night graphic "this is what happened" shows but the way you write it makes it seem like it was pulled straight from a book. Your descriptive and storytelling style of writing draws you in almost instantly. If not for your incredible way of describing the event, the fact that you survived this ordeal alone is a frontrunner for the contest. Beautifully done. Sometimes the most difficult things that happen to us are the easiest to write because when viewing them as a story they don't even seem real. I don't know if that was the case with this one but regardless I applaud you for finally feeling ready to share it.
Comment Written 26-Jan-2017
reply by the author on 27-Jan-2017
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Thank you so much for a brilliant review!!
Yes, I think writing about an event you've really been in gives you a unique perspective. It does lend legitimacy to the writing. Thanks you for all the wonderful comments.
Take care, my friend,
Rhonda
Comment from Joy Graham
Oh my goodness! Nobody can call you a city girl after you were christened a country gal by this incident. I broke my nose when I was a young thang. I still remember looking in a mirror to take pebbles off my nose and not feeling my finger touching my numb nose. My troubles are small compared to yours. I've always been afraid of cows. I'd not have been anywhere near that trailer with a bull in there too. Wow, you're awesome!
I hope you are healing and feeling better.
This is a terrific entry for the contest. You should blow the competition out of the water!
reply by the author on 27-Jan-2017
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Oh my goodness! Nobody can call you a city girl after you were christened a country gal by this incident. I broke my nose when I was a young thang. I still remember looking in a mirror to take pebbles off my nose and not feeling my finger touching my numb nose. My troubles are small compared to yours. I've always been afraid of cows. I'd not have been anywhere near that trailer with a bull in there too. Wow, you're awesome!
I hope you are healing and feeling better.
This is a terrific entry for the contest. You should blow the competition out of the water!
Comment Written 26-Jan-2017
reply by the author on 27-Jan-2017
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Thank you, my friend, for the wonderful comments, and sharing your experience. Misery does love company!!
As far as the contest goes, you never know what other people are going to like. I appreciate the vote of confidence, though.
Have a great weekend, Joy!
Rhonda
Comment from TheWriteTeach
This is a great 'Share Your Story' entry. It is not great that this happened to you, but a great story. I hope you get what I mean. LOL
This had my interest immediately, I was riveted. Your descriptive narrative combined with dialogue provided a vivid picture of what was taking place. You had good physical and verbal action that kept everything moving along. You stayed focused and didn't add unnecessary information.
I have a 'bull' story for you! I lived on a cattle farm all my life; as a child and then when I was married. We, also, dealt with bulls. One in particular, was a little darling. His mother was a pet, so he became one, too. When he was 18 months old, it seemed almost over night, he turned mean. The one day we were in the herd, checking them out. For no reason, that bull lowered his head, roared worse than any lion and charged my husband, and threw him up in the air. My husband spun around in the air a few times before landing on the ground. When he landed the bull charged him again. Thank God I was on my horse. I spurred him forward, toward the bull. The horse ran full bore into the side of the bull and knocked him to his knees. This gave my husband enough time to get up and climb the tree. I chased the bull into a corral and locked him in. I called the cattle dealer and the bull was gone within two hours. My husband had a concussion and was super sore for several days but nothing was broken. They say you can never trust a bull, no matter how tame.
I found two things for you to look at.
"You know," I said, "If we load (auto correct strikes again - 'If' should not be capitalized.)
Wayne laughed[,] then went inside the trailer to close (need comma where indicated)
You did a bang-up job (get the pun? LOL) with this! Good luck in the contest.
Suzanne
reply by the author on 25-Jan-2017
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This is a great 'Share Your Story' entry. It is not great that this happened to you, but a great story. I hope you get what I mean. LOL
This had my interest immediately, I was riveted. Your descriptive narrative combined with dialogue provided a vivid picture of what was taking place. You had good physical and verbal action that kept everything moving along. You stayed focused and didn't add unnecessary information.
I have a 'bull' story for you! I lived on a cattle farm all my life; as a child and then when I was married. We, also, dealt with bulls. One in particular, was a little darling. His mother was a pet, so he became one, too. When he was 18 months old, it seemed almost over night, he turned mean. The one day we were in the herd, checking them out. For no reason, that bull lowered his head, roared worse than any lion and charged my husband, and threw him up in the air. My husband spun around in the air a few times before landing on the ground. When he landed the bull charged him again. Thank God I was on my horse. I spurred him forward, toward the bull. The horse ran full bore into the side of the bull and knocked him to his knees. This gave my husband enough time to get up and climb the tree. I chased the bull into a corral and locked him in. I called the cattle dealer and the bull was gone within two hours. My husband had a concussion and was super sore for several days but nothing was broken. They say you can never trust a bull, no matter how tame.
I found two things for you to look at.
"You know," I said, "If we load (auto correct strikes again - 'If' should not be capitalized.)
Wayne laughed[,] then went inside the trailer to close (need comma where indicated)
You did a bang-up job (get the pun? LOL) with this! Good luck in the contest.
Suzanne
Comment Written 25-Jan-2017
reply by the author on 25-Jan-2017
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You know, they say misery loves company and they are right. I love your bull story. I mean, I'm not glad it happened to your husband, but at least I know it's not just me, and not just because I was raised a city girl. Tell him I feel his pain! At least the one that hurt me was locked up in the cattle trailer.
I only made two mistake, yay!!!!! Has to be a first. Haha.
Thank you for the comments, story and spag alert. You're a sweetheart!!
Rhonda
Comment from Thomas Bowling
A great story. Glad you've recovered. This will be a good contest entry. unusual story about a fighter. I helped on my uncles farm, once as we were loading a bull onto a trailer a bull kicked him, breaking his leg. We were able to pull my uncle out just in time for it to get much worse.
reply by the author on 25-Jan-2017
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A great story. Glad you've recovered. This will be a good contest entry. unusual story about a fighter. I helped on my uncles farm, once as we were loading a bull onto a trailer a bull kicked him, breaking his leg. We were able to pull my uncle out just in time for it to get much worse.
Comment Written 25-Jan-2017
reply by the author on 25-Jan-2017
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I have gained a healthy respect for bulls. Even though this one was quite tame, I found bulls can go from gentle to homicidal in seconds. Thanks for the review and comments!!
Rhonda
Comment from Nan Beeson
My precious dear friend Rhonda...
I know you will believe me when I say I had an in-depth extensive review of your near death experience and it disappeared before I could press the save button....so here I am back to tell you I am so proud of how brave you were with that horrific experience and your FAITH IN GOD throughout it. I will say no more except that I had a similar death experience on Christmas day, and now since you had the go-ahead to post yours, I got the go-ahead to post my near death experience that happened on Christmas day.
What a Blessing you survived, Dear One, for there is still much work to be done by you in your writings and an extraordinary teacher that our corrupt world so badly is in need of at this dire time of great turmoil, greed and hate. Please forgive me if I do not proo off fear in the event it will disappear again.
Love and Blessings and a big hug to boot....Nan:}}
reply by the author on 25-Jan-2017
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My precious dear friend Rhonda...
I know you will believe me when I say I had an in-depth extensive review of your near death experience and it disappeared before I could press the save button....so here I am back to tell you I am so proud of how brave you were with that horrific experience and your FAITH IN GOD throughout it. I will say no more except that I had a similar death experience on Christmas day, and now since you had the go-ahead to post yours, I got the go-ahead to post my near death experience that happened on Christmas day.
What a Blessing you survived, Dear One, for there is still much work to be done by you in your writings and an extraordinary teacher that our corrupt world so badly is in need of at this dire time of great turmoil, greed and hate. Please forgive me if I do not proo off fear in the event it will disappear again.
Love and Blessings and a big hug to boot....Nan:}}
Comment Written 25-Jan-2017
reply by the author on 25-Jan-2017
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Hi Nan!!!
I've missed you so much. I am so happy you decided to read and review my story, twice even!
Are you going to post your story so we can all share it? I do hope so. The contest is still open and I'm sure everyone would like to hear it.
Thank you for your kind words about the teaching. I hadn't thought about that. The kids do need some stability, don't they? And I do care about them!
Hugs back and much love,
Rhonda
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Oh, Rhonda,
you know how very much I value your friendship and writing abilities in all areas... I was not aware that it is a contest entry and I wish you the best....it certainly deserves first prize.
No....I will not be posting mine as a contest entry, but only because your posting yours gave me the go-ahead signal. There is more to the story than that, but will explain all when I post it. I am still having difficulty with the speller and have to enlarge the type so I can see the typos, I type so fast without looking at the keyboard since that is the way I learned to type as a secretary at 110 wprds per minute...LOL..
.I guess it is true that you can't teac h an old dog new tricks. I am finding that out about Corky, and now me (or is it "I" too, LOL
Love and Blessings and a big hug to boot
Your sincer frend and admirer.....Nan:))
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You are such a sweet person, Nan, and always have been.
I am honored to have a friend who can type that fast! I think I'm doing pretty well, typing fast as can be at work. and students come up and say, "Miss, you sure type slow" and then my bubble bursts. haha.
Good night, my friend,
Love ya,
Rhonda
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They are nuts to say that. I ought to know. You cannot imagine how many posts I have not posted because of repeated accusations of so many typos.
Talk about being honored to know a person and have such a friend. I have always felt the same way about you, and so beneath your level of writing that I did not know how to word it.
I love you, Rhonda, and so happy we both survived a near death experience when I so longed to go rather than remain here. I will tell you why later why,.
Blessings and a great big hug to boot......Nan:))
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Well I, for one, am looking forward to hearing your story. I'm sure it's going to be exciting. I'm glad you didn't go, because the world isn't through with you yet!!
Love ya.
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Ha!
It was quite similar to yours! And truly a miracle I survived...I am having difficulty with the speller and that is why it is taking me so long to post.
Love ya back.
Comment from Dustybones
This is a true story. Wow. It's the first I've heard of this crazy bull. You tell the story with an exciting feel to it. Glad to hear you're better now after all of that mess. dustybones
reply by the author on 25-Jan-2017
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This is a true story. Wow. It's the first I've heard of this crazy bull. You tell the story with an exciting feel to it. Glad to hear you're better now after all of that mess. dustybones
Comment Written 25-Jan-2017
reply by the author on 25-Jan-2017
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Yeah, crazy stuff, but all's well that ends well, and all that stuff. haha. Take care, Rhonda
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I hope you're taying clear of bulls.
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Oh yeah!!
Comment from Lu Saluna
First, I would like to say, "OUCH!" That must have hurt, a whole bunch. Second, I am very happy to know you are doing ok and are all healed up in spite of all that you went through.
You wrote fantastic story about the whole event, you get major bragging rights for this one, that is for sure. A scary accident like this, took great courage for you to ride the distance and then turn around and write a very good contest entry about it.
Best of luck to you, I hope you win!
reply by the author on 25-Jan-2017
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First, I would like to say, "OUCH!" That must have hurt, a whole bunch. Second, I am very happy to know you are doing ok and are all healed up in spite of all that you went through.
You wrote fantastic story about the whole event, you get major bragging rights for this one, that is for sure. A scary accident like this, took great courage for you to ride the distance and then turn around and write a very good contest entry about it.
Best of luck to you, I hope you win!
Comment Written 25-Jan-2017
reply by the author on 25-Jan-2017
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Thank you so much, Lu. It was definitely something I don't ever want to go through again, but I'm glad the writing of it's over. I wanted to put it all down for posterity, and the contest came up at the year anniversary, so I went for it. Thanks for your warm commentary,
Rhonda
Comment from Phyllis Stewart
Wow... what a nightmare. So sorry that happened, but glad you are okay now. Injuries can happen so quickly no one can really prepare for everything. I hope you have stopped working with bulls, though. Take care of yourself, please. :)
reply by the author on 25-Jan-2017
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Wow... what a nightmare. So sorry that happened, but glad you are okay now. Injuries can happen so quickly no one can really prepare for everything. I hope you have stopped working with bulls, though. Take care of yourself, please. :)
Comment Written 25-Jan-2017
reply by the author on 25-Jan-2017
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I'm fine!! Yeah, accidents can happen in the blink of any eye. but all is well now.
I still feed them, pet them from outside the fence, all that stuff, but no more in the pen for me!! And certainly no loading.
Take care,
Rhonda
