When winter shivers
A landscape dressed in diamonds.13 total reviews
Comment from winnona
a very beautifully written tanka contest entry. Your words flowed well and combined easily forming the message of the poem for the reader. The artwork completed your poem well.
reply by the author on 22-Jan-2017
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a very beautifully written tanka contest entry. Your words flowed well and combined easily forming the message of the poem for the reader. The artwork completed your poem well.
Comment Written 21-Jan-2017
reply by the author on 22-Jan-2017
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Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from estory
The opening two lines were really strong. this is a nice fresh image, Winter shivering, stalking the trees. then you kind of lost me. not sure what you mean by taxed trunks. the alliteration was good. frost caresses. not sure if caresses is the word you need when you set up that kind of tension with stalking. enfolding them with glitter; the poem ends in beauty. So you start with some tension, and move to beauty, somehow. Not sure how the transformation happens. But this is plausible; there is beauty in winter. and pain. so you are onto something, and I think you are close to being great here. some gems in this poem estory
reply by the author on 21-Jan-2017
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The opening two lines were really strong. this is a nice fresh image, Winter shivering, stalking the trees. then you kind of lost me. not sure what you mean by taxed trunks. the alliteration was good. frost caresses. not sure if caresses is the word you need when you set up that kind of tension with stalking. enfolding them with glitter; the poem ends in beauty. So you start with some tension, and move to beauty, somehow. Not sure how the transformation happens. But this is plausible; there is beauty in winter. and pain. so you are onto something, and I think you are close to being great here. some gems in this poem estory
Comment Written 21-Jan-2017
reply by the author on 21-Jan-2017
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Tank you for the detailed review. Taxed refers to the weight of the ice bearing on the trunk.
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I think you are really close to having a great poem here. it seems to be about a contrast between the pain and beauty of winter, am I right? that transformation from a perception of winter as uncomfortable, to an appreciation of it as beautiful. not sure if you have the right words in every line to clearly define that transformation. estory
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You are right. Perhaps stalking threw it off. Have to think on it. Thanks again
Comment from Jackarrie
Hi mystery author,
I like your winter tanka, it is a very good entry into the contest. All syllables are correct. I wish you the best of luck
A creative description of winter.
Mary
reply by the author on 21-Jan-2017
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Hi mystery author,
I like your winter tanka, it is a very good entry into the contest. All syllables are correct. I wish you the best of luck
A creative description of winter.
Mary
Comment Written 21-Jan-2017
reply by the author on 21-Jan-2017
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Thank you for reviewing.
Comment from suep
This does look dressed in diamonds. A beautiful winter scene and I love your description of it and your use of personification. I especially enjoyed 'winter shivers' and 'enfolding them in glitter'. Perfect picture and presentation. Best wishes in the contest! :)
reply by the author on 21-Jan-2017
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This does look dressed in diamonds. A beautiful winter scene and I love your description of it and your use of personification. I especially enjoyed 'winter shivers' and 'enfolding them in glitter'. Perfect picture and presentation. Best wishes in the contest! :)
Comment Written 21-Jan-2017
reply by the author on 21-Jan-2017
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Thank you for he kind review.
Comment from Mrs Happy Poet
Yes this is well written you have painted such a beautiful image with your words I enjoyed good luck in the contest regards Jill
reply by the author on 21-Jan-2017
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Yes this is well written you have painted such a beautiful image with your words I enjoyed good luck in the contest regards Jill
Comment Written 21-Jan-2017
reply by the author on 21-Jan-2017
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Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from Irish Rain
This is lovely, though I'm certainly no expert on tanka...just learning them! I love the 'enfolding them in glitter.' Good luck, blessings...
reply by the author on 21-Jan-2017
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This is lovely, though I'm certainly no expert on tanka...just learning them! I love the 'enfolding them in glitter.' Good luck, blessings...
Comment Written 20-Jan-2017
reply by the author on 21-Jan-2017
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Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from RYME4U
This is a well written tanka, The descriptive words you use create a great image of a snowy winter scene, VERY VIVID IMAGERY
and you have chosen your words well, The personification is well done
reply by the author on 21-Jan-2017
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This is a well written tanka, The descriptive words you use create a great image of a snowy winter scene, VERY VIVID IMAGERY
and you have chosen your words well, The personification is well done
Comment Written 20-Jan-2017
reply by the author on 21-Jan-2017
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Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from Marykelly
The tone of this poem is seductive and the winter elements try to find relief from the cold in the bare tree branches which emphasizes the seductive tone but the final results of the branches is glitter which is dazzling but not warming.
reply by the author on 21-Jan-2017
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The tone of this poem is seductive and the winter elements try to find relief from the cold in the bare tree branches which emphasizes the seductive tone but the final results of the branches is glitter which is dazzling but not warming.
Comment Written 20-Jan-2017
reply by the author on 21-Jan-2017
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Thanks for the great review.
Comment from Dolly'sPoems
A beautiful sparkling Tanka, prickling my senses with frosty glitter scenes of nature, lovely artwork to accompany your lovely poem, love Dolly x
reply by the author on 21-Jan-2017
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A beautiful sparkling Tanka, prickling my senses with frosty glitter scenes of nature, lovely artwork to accompany your lovely poem, love Dolly x
Comment Written 20-Jan-2017
reply by the author on 21-Jan-2017
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Thanks for the kind review.
Comment from Thomas Bowling
A beautiful picture to go with this excellent poem. Winter bring terrific views that we can only see during this time of year. The tree looks magical.
reply by the author on 21-Jan-2017
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A beautiful picture to go with this excellent poem. Winter bring terrific views that we can only see during this time of year. The tree looks magical.
Comment Written 19-Jan-2017
reply by the author on 21-Jan-2017
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Thank you for the kind review.
