Comment from rama devi

Excellent

This is truly magical and lyrical, my friend. Warmest welcome back to FS> I missed your work--the musicality, the originality, the beauty of it. This is very beautiful and sounds super read aloud. I love the fluid flow and well woven repetition device as well. Favorite parts:

Colors of lavender,
Lavender light
Lifting and escaping

Lavender light
Cut out of paper,
Cut out of trees

AND

Air unfolding into light
Light unfolding into dreams

Blowing away in the wind



Wish I had a six.

Warmly, rd

 Comment Written 13-Jan-2017

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reply by the author on 13-Jan-2017

Thanks for your awesome review and your encouraging remarks. I am usually striving for new forms, using repeating patterns of sound to create music, instead of rhyme schemes and iambic pentameter, although I do have some in those forms. I prefer free verse. So much on this site is kind of tried and proven, I like to go off the beaten track into new places and hang out with people who want to be there as well. estory

reply by rama devi on 13-Jan-2017

I love the musicality in your writing, my friend. This site has lots of pluses for sure. A fine family

Warmly,
rd

Comment from Lloyd T. Okoko

Excellent

The objective correlative of the poem is a relay race of colours, light, clouds, skies, landscape, air and dreams.

The work highlights the relay-race of the aforementioned elements and the resultant sensations they create.

Excellent work! Bravo!

 Comment Written 12-Jan-2017

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reply by the author on 12-Jan-2017

Thanks for your five star review and your comments. this is mostly a musical and visionary scene, a dream in poetry estory

reply by Lloyd T. Okoko on 13-Jan-2017

Ride on Estory!
Keep on flourishing!

Comment from Pearl Edwards

Excellent

Welcome back estory. I like what you've done with this and you are right as we read it, the descending poem as each line melds with the next it is like floating on the lavender breeze. Nicely done, very creative,
cheers.

 Comment Written 12-Jan-2017

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reply by the author on 12-Jan-2017

thanks for your five star review and all your encouraging comments. I think you understood what I was trying to do here with these images and sounds bleeding into each other estory

Comment from Dolly'sPoems

Excellent

A sense of floating time in a world where nothing is real and tangible, where life is short and we are but paper blowing in the wind, very atmospheric, love Dolly x

 Comment Written 12-Jan-2017

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reply by the author on 12-Jan-2017

thanks for your five star review and your encouraging comments. I think you get the beauty of this poem, lifting off the page and rising into the air and blending with everyone's dreams estory

Comment from Cindy Warren

Excellent

Until I saw your author notes I thought it was about the blossoms of spring unfolding and developing and eventually blowing away on the fall. I found it to be an enjoyable read.

 Comment Written 11-Jan-2017

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reply by the author on 12-Jan-2017

thanks for your five star review and your comments. well, I like poems that can mean many different things to different people . I try to keep them ambiguous, so they can become what you want them to become thanks for your thoughts estory

Comment from winnona

Excellent

A well-written poem. Your well-chosen words flowed well line to line combining easily and forming the message of the poem for the reader. The poem leaves a flowing image in the mind of the reader.

 Comment Written 11-Jan-2017

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reply by the author on 12-Jan-2017

thanks for your five star review and your validations of what I was trying to do estory

Comment from Irish Rain

Excellent

Oh wow. SO pretty! I would give this a six if I had any!!! I love the way it does seem to blend, like a watercolor, one line into the next. Just luminous! Blessings...

 Comment Written 11-Jan-2017

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reply by the author on 12-Jan-2017

Thanks for your five star review and your encouraging comments. I am glad that you enjoyed it and found it so well done. it was written and rewritten many times. I am just never happy with these things; a perfectionist I guess estory

reply by Irish Rain on 12-Jan-2017

I do the same...change a word here and there, keep going back. But it certainly does help. This is a fabulous poem!

Comment from Meia (MESAYERS)

Excellent

Stunning poem conjuring up such beautiful and magical images. Really extraordinary use of words, almost took my breath away, a work of astounding beauty. Well done kind regards Meia x

 Comment Written 11-Jan-2017

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reply by the author on 12-Jan-2017

Thanks for your five star review and your really encouraging remarks. I have been working on poetry for a long time and this poem has gone through a few rewrites. but I am glad you enjoyed it estory