Reviews from

Either It's Love or It Isn't

Viewing comments for Chapter 48 "Undone"
Degrees of love, romance, attraction.

36 total reviews 
Comment from Teri7
Excellent
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This is a very interesting momorhyme poem you have penned. Congratulations on your win. Very good descriptive wording and great imagery! Blessings, Teri

 Comment Written 12-Jan-2017


reply by the author on 12-Jan-2017
    Thank you, Teri. I appreciate your review. Marilyn
reply by Teri7 on 13-Jan-2017
    you are so welcome!
Comment from Mrs Happy Poet
Excellent
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Yes this is well written it reads smoothly through the poem and so beautifully presented I enjoyed well done and good luck in the contest regards Jill

 Comment Written 11-Jan-2017


reply by the author on 12-Jan-2017
    Hi Jill. Thank you very much for your nice review. Marilyn
Comment from Douglas Paul
Excellent
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You really did a good job with form, my friend. I looks like a hard one to me. You capture the freshness and bliss of new love that slowly unravels over time. That happens all too often

 Comment Written 11-Jan-2017


reply by the author on 12-Jan-2017
    Hi Douglas. Thank you for your supportive review which I appreciate very much. Marilyn
Comment from flylikeaneagle
Excellent
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Great rhymes and photo. We can look at cars and windows and wonder
where would he be? Then, God connects us together, somehow.
God bless. Fun poem and great for contest with wonderful end rhymes.
flylikeaneagle

 Comment Written 11-Jan-2017


reply by the author on 12-Jan-2017
    Hi Nancy. I agree, we don't do anything by ourselves. When the time is right things work. Thank you for your supportive review of my poem. Marilyn
Comment from joeruptak
Excellent
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As usual you have everything going the right way flow rhythm and rhyme are really great
makes me want to pull my entry and go away
good job and good luck

 Comment Written 11-Jan-2017


reply by the author on 12-Jan-2017
    Hi Joe. Thank you for your kind words. I always appreciate your review and input. No. Don't go away. We each have our own niche. Marilyn
Comment from Phyllis Stewart
Excellent
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I like monorhymes. Good job on this one. If only you hadn't added that ninth line to give it a sad ending. I'm going to pretend it isn't there and imagine they grew old together, happily. So THERE! :)

 Comment Written 11-Jan-2017


reply by the author on 11-Jan-2017
    Hi Phyllis. Thank you for your review of my poem. Think of it this way--a love so intense cannot be sustained. The poem is metaphysical in the sense that we search each lifetime for our soul mate (twin flame--other half of our own soul). The merge with the other half of self is so overwhelming, we may have to shelf it for this go around. As a matter of fact, I think I'll add what I just said to my author's note. Marilyn
reply by Phyllis Stewart on 11-Jan-2017
    I found my soul mate, and every day it gets better... I love him more and more. It's true.
reply by the author on 11-Jan-2017
    So happy for you, Phyllis. Maybe I'll be successful next lifetime.
Comment from winnona
Excellent
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A well-written contest entry. I think you did very well completing the challenge of the writing prompt. The words flowed well line to line combining easily and forming the message of the poem.

 Comment Written 10-Jan-2017


reply by the author on 10-Jan-2017
    Thank you, Winnona. I'm glad you liked it and I appreciate your nice review. Marilyn
Comment from lyenochka
Excellent
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Great story of passionate love all in 9 lines of monorhyme! I sense the wonder of falling in love and I especially like : "souls converged" as the description of two souls so combined in love. But I'm not sure I understand the "undone" at the end. Is the love undone? Or has the love so overwhelmed both souls that they are undone? It reads at a completely different beat from the other lines that it could even be a line by itself.

 Comment Written 10-Jan-2017


reply by the author on 10-Jan-2017
    Hi lyenochka. I DO like your take on the poem. You're right that "undone" at the end can go either way depending on the reader's wish. Is it a happy ending or a sad one? My intent was that the love affair collapses under it's own intensity. Since this is a soul connection, even though the two don't make it together this time, there's always a chance for the future. Thank you so much for your fine review and interesting comments. Marilyn
Comment from Drew Delaney
Excellent
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Oh, I really like this. Lots of rhyming. Why do some of us like to rhyme and others do not? A year of days merged into one ... love that line. Drew

 Comment Written 10-Jan-2017


reply by the author on 10-Jan-2017
    Thank you, Drew. It's true, some prefer rhyme other do not. I like it all. Variation helps keep us from getting bored. Thank you for pointing out that line which I like, too. Marilyn
Comment from aryr
Excellent
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You definitely met the required criteria for the monorhyme poem. A message of such delight and then of sadness. Very well done, thanks.

 Comment Written 10-Jan-2017


reply by the author on 10-Jan-2017
    Thank you, aryr. You've assessed the poem correctly. I appreciate your very nice review and comments. Marilyn
reply by aryr on 11-Jan-2017
    You are welcome Marilyn