Perennials of War
Viewing comments for Chapter 7 "Chapter Three part Eine"Is Anderson a gallant knight? Can he recover Shan
33 total reviews
Comment from Bryana
Interesting and well written chapter.
I'd like to know if Ben is really being
watched.
Three German Shepherds! I would really
feel protected.
Dear Barbara I wish a very Merry Christmas
and a Wonderful New Year.
reply by the author on 26-Dec-2016
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Interesting and well written chapter.
I'd like to know if Ben is really being
watched.
Three German Shepherds! I would really
feel protected.
Dear Barbara I wish a very Merry Christmas
and a Wonderful New Year.
Comment Written 23-Dec-2016
reply by the author on 26-Dec-2016
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Thank you for the kind review. Very good question I had not thought about.
Comment from winnona
A well-written part to your story. The piece moved easily from beginning to end. The detail and realistic characters brought the story to life for me as I read it. Well done.
reply by the author on 22-Dec-2016
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A well-written part to your story. The piece moved easily from beginning to end. The detail and realistic characters brought the story to life for me as I read it. Well done.
Comment Written 22-Dec-2016
reply by the author on 22-Dec-2016
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Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from barkingdog
This is getting dangerous for anyone that those hunting for Shana think might have her.
She's lucky that Anderson is well versed in how to protect his penthouse and her and now Ben.
I hope nothing happens to the dogs who seem to know who the bad guys are when they are around. Dogs have a good sense for such things.
I didn't see anything to correct. All reads well.
Merry Christmas, Barbara.
:) e
reply by the author on 22-Dec-2016
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This is getting dangerous for anyone that those hunting for Shana think might have her.
She's lucky that Anderson is well versed in how to protect his penthouse and her and now Ben.
I hope nothing happens to the dogs who seem to know who the bad guys are when they are around. Dogs have a good sense for such things.
I didn't see anything to correct. All reads well.
Merry Christmas, Barbara.
:) e
Comment Written 21-Dec-2016
reply by the author on 22-Dec-2016
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MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I think the dogs are going to be a great help to Shana. At least I hope so. Thank you for the kind review.
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I hope people on site don't complain ... again ... about your incorporating dogs into your plot.
For me, they make the people's lives more realistic.
:) e
Comment from Mastery
Hello, my friend and Merry christmas to you and yours. This is another interesting and well-written chapter in your book. I like the way you use the dogs in this book. Your imagery is right on, too:
Like: "He rapped the end of his pen on his desk."
And: "Anderson stretched his neck from side-to-side. "It doesn't make an ounce of sense."
Suggestions: I think these two sentences should be tied together as one: " Philip sat in a leather chair beside Anderson's desk. "Have you found out what her father does?"
Bravo! Good job, Barbara. X Bob
reply by the author on 21-Dec-2016
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Hello, my friend and Merry christmas to you and yours. This is another interesting and well-written chapter in your book. I like the way you use the dogs in this book. Your imagery is right on, too:
Like: "He rapped the end of his pen on his desk."
And: "Anderson stretched his neck from side-to-side. "It doesn't make an ounce of sense."
Suggestions: I think these two sentences should be tied together as one: " Philip sat in a leather chair beside Anderson's desk. "Have you found out what her father does?"
Bravo! Good job, Barbara. X Bob
Comment Written 21-Dec-2016
reply by the author on 21-Dec-2016
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I will check that area out. Thank you for the support. MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Merry Christmas to you and your family to!!!!
Comment from judiverse
Anderson seems to have taken Shana's problem on himself. If the dogs sense something's strange, that could be someone's following them and Ben, they have got to be right. Anderson must have untold wealth if he can have his own security personnel! What a lifestyle he leads, too. He seems a nice guy despite that. The painting that Shana wants returned to her family must be worth a great deal, as a lot of people are interested in it and her. Anderson is really on alert, but there is definitely reason to be. Great story. judi
reply by the author on 21-Dec-2016
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Anderson seems to have taken Shana's problem on himself. If the dogs sense something's strange, that could be someone's following them and Ben, they have got to be right. Anderson must have untold wealth if he can have his own security personnel! What a lifestyle he leads, too. He seems a nice guy despite that. The painting that Shana wants returned to her family must be worth a great deal, as a lot of people are interested in it and her. Anderson is really on alert, but there is definitely reason to be. Great story. judi
Comment Written 21-Dec-2016
reply by the author on 21-Dec-2016
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Thank you for the kind review. I was starting to worry where you were. MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!!
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You're/ welcome. I have fallen disastrously behind in reviewing. This is such an intriguing story, and I love the history behind it. Merry Christmas, and enjoy that Christmas break! judi
Comment from DonandVicki
I have been away Barbara, for a while and will have to go back and catch up on your work. A very interesting chapter, you keep me in suspense at the end of each chapter.
reply by the author on 21-Dec-2016
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I have been away Barbara, for a while and will have to go back and catch up on your work. A very interesting chapter, you keep me in suspense at the end of each chapter.
Comment Written 20-Dec-2016
reply by the author on 21-Dec-2016
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I am glad you're back. Thank you for leaving this kind review.
Comment from Ben Colder
I notice you like using dogs in your stories. Not a bad idea. They seem to fit the occasion. Unusual pad, but interesting. Thanks for another great chapter.
reply by the author on 21-Dec-2016
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I notice you like using dogs in your stories. Not a bad idea. They seem to fit the occasion. Unusual pad, but interesting. Thanks for another great chapter.
Comment Written 20-Dec-2016
reply by the author on 21-Dec-2016
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I have to have dogs in every story. Shana wants a cat, but Shana isn't going to get a cat. LOL Thank you for the encouragement.
Comment from Sis Cat
Following the assassination of Russia's ambassador to Turkey yesterday, I felt a heightened sense of nervousness and unease reading this chapter. I feel that all the security and dogs around Anderson may be unable to protect him and those around him. I remember a Mexican judge who was assassinated because he always jogged the same route. You introduced an element of danger and suspicion in your chapter which makes me want to read what happens next. Your dialogue and animated and moves the mystery along in a suspenseful manner. Thank you for scaring and for sharing.
reply by the author on 20-Dec-2016
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Following the assassination of Russia's ambassador to Turkey yesterday, I felt a heightened sense of nervousness and unease reading this chapter. I feel that all the security and dogs around Anderson may be unable to protect him and those around him. I remember a Mexican judge who was assassinated because he always jogged the same route. You introduced an element of danger and suspicion in your chapter which makes me want to read what happens next. Your dialogue and animated and moves the mystery along in a suspenseful manner. Thank you for scaring and for sharing.
Comment Written 20-Dec-2016
reply by the author on 20-Dec-2016
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Thank you for the kind review. I am wondering about the state of the world myself.
Comment from rama devi
Good job. I continue to be interested in reading this story and seeing where it heads. The chapter is too short to comment on characterization adn plot, but the sentence mechanics and pacing and dialog are all good. Just a couple of minor suggestions:
Not sure if you want the diction formal here intentionally, but I recommend contractions in this dialog:
"I have done nothing wrong." Shana's eyes met Anderson's.
"I know, dear," said Jane as she put her arm around Shana's shoulder. "Drew is erring on the side of caution."
EDITED:
"I've done nothing wrong." Shana's eyes met Anderson's.
"I know, dear," said Jane as she put her arm around Shana's shoulder. "Drew's erring on the side of caution."
* Anderson watched him unhook the leashes,(NO COMMA) and the dogs return them to the proper place before he said, "Why would anybody ask that?"
Looking forward to reading more.
Happy Holidays!
Warmly,
rd
reply by the author on 20-Dec-2016
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Good job. I continue to be interested in reading this story and seeing where it heads. The chapter is too short to comment on characterization adn plot, but the sentence mechanics and pacing and dialog are all good. Just a couple of minor suggestions:
Not sure if you want the diction formal here intentionally, but I recommend contractions in this dialog:
"I have done nothing wrong." Shana's eyes met Anderson's.
"I know, dear," said Jane as she put her arm around Shana's shoulder. "Drew is erring on the side of caution."
EDITED:
"I've done nothing wrong." Shana's eyes met Anderson's.
"I know, dear," said Jane as she put her arm around Shana's shoulder. "Drew's erring on the side of caution."
* Anderson watched him unhook the leashes,(NO COMMA) and the dogs return them to the proper place before he said, "Why would anybody ask that?"
Looking forward to reading more.
Happy Holidays!
Warmly,
rd
Comment Written 20-Dec-2016
reply by the author on 20-Dec-2016
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I made the corrections, except for the first one. I think I want Shana to state: I have done nothing wrong. Usually I would agree but no in this one case. Thank you for the help.
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Thanks, B. Glad to help. Blessings, rd
PS Yes, I was unsure if that would be ideal in that line too--figured I'd leave it up to you!
Comment from Lu Saluna
I must say this is a very good suspense novel. I am on edge waiting for something to happen. It would seem these men are closing in. Shana is claiming it is nothing more than wanting her family's artwork back. This is very aggressive behaviour, a little over the top.
The detail, the characters, the plot and the little twists and turns all have the reader's mind going in different directions.
A very well written story. Further, I don't see any SPAG, you are a very good writer and good at editing your work.
reply by the author on 20-Dec-2016
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I must say this is a very good suspense novel. I am on edge waiting for something to happen. It would seem these men are closing in. Shana is claiming it is nothing more than wanting her family's artwork back. This is very aggressive behaviour, a little over the top.
The detail, the characters, the plot and the little twists and turns all have the reader's mind going in different directions.
A very well written story. Further, I don't see any SPAG, you are a very good writer and good at editing your work.
Comment Written 20-Dec-2016
reply by the author on 20-Dec-2016
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Thank you for the encouraging review. I appreciate it.
