The Old Man And His Dam
His last trip to his old dam76 total reviews
Comment from the13thpoet
Hello Jaybird1 as always it is a pleasure to be able to read your work. It is always well written and heartfelt. Your sincerity and wisdom shines through in your words. Thank you for sharing. Good job my friend.
Hello Jaybird1 as always it is a pleasure to be able to read your work. It is always well written and heartfelt. Your sincerity and wisdom shines through in your words. Thank you for sharing. Good job my friend.
Comment Written 15-Aug-2019
Comment from Aussie
We all have a special place where we can go. Time and tide wait for no man. You have written a great poem, aligning the dam with the man, the time for both running out. Nothing stands still, all walls crumble, especially dams that are not looked after - the man, well natural ageing. Excellent, loved it.
We all have a special place where we can go. Time and tide wait for no man. You have written a great poem, aligning the dam with the man, the time for both running out. Nothing stands still, all walls crumble, especially dams that are not looked after - the man, well natural ageing. Excellent, loved it.
Comment Written 15-Aug-2019
Comment from Marjorie Burghdoff-Banks
How often we see a "reflection of me" and hide from what we see. This is lovely, simply lovely. A story of passing time, of memories, of enduring time and sharing the memories. And, of feeling the memories. I loved reading this, the words make you think and ponder what and why. Thank you for sharing.
How often we see a "reflection of me" and hide from what we see. This is lovely, simply lovely. A story of passing time, of memories, of enduring time and sharing the memories. And, of feeling the memories. I loved reading this, the words make you think and ponder what and why. Thank you for sharing.
Comment Written 14-Aug-2019
Comment from royowen
Oh yes, there are so many monument to the ages, both new and some ancient, and then there crumbling monuments from our youth, reminding us of the aging condition that taunts ud. A beautifully written in tetrametric stanzas, and abcb rhyming, blessings, Roy
Oh yes, there are so many monument to the ages, both new and some ancient, and then there crumbling monuments from our youth, reminding us of the aging condition that taunts ud. A beautifully written in tetrametric stanzas, and abcb rhyming, blessings, Roy
Comment Written 14-Aug-2019
Comment from Caroline Mansour
This is a lovely, nostalgic poem. I see that you prefer poetry that rhymes, but have you thought of incorporating non-rhymes? I feel it would add to this poem in particular.
This is a lovely, nostalgic poem. I see that you prefer poetry that rhymes, but have you thought of incorporating non-rhymes? I feel it would add to this poem in particular.
Comment Written 14-Aug-2019
Comment from Raffaelina Lowcock
We all have something that we cling to throughout our lives and perhaps use as a metaphor as we begin the countdown. Your poem is a tribute to your friend as you gathered your words so thoughtfully.
We all have something that we cling to throughout our lives and perhaps use as a metaphor as we begin the countdown. Your poem is a tribute to your friend as you gathered your words so thoughtfully.
Comment Written 14-Aug-2019
Comment from Gert sherwood
Hello jaybird1
I flt a bit emotional while reading your excellent poem about the feelings you had for your friend and the dam.
I also found your first line in each of your stanzas and through out your poem there were lines that that didn't rhyme still kept the flow going.
Gert
Hello jaybird1
I flt a bit emotional while reading your excellent poem about the feelings you had for your friend and the dam.
I also found your first line in each of your stanzas and through out your poem there were lines that that didn't rhyme still kept the flow going.
Gert
Comment Written 14-Aug-2019
Comment from Poetofheart2013
What a great story poem full good heartfelt feeling and emotions
It tells a very sweet story.
I really enjoy reading it.
Keep up the good work and
Keep writing.
What a great story poem full good heartfelt feeling and emotions
It tells a very sweet story.
I really enjoy reading it.
Keep up the good work and
Keep writing.
Comment Written 14-Aug-2019
Comment from tfawcus
It is one of the sadnesses of old age to see things that we have known and loved gradually fall into disrepair. The ravages of age are indiscriminate. Your poem shows great empathy with your friend. The metaphor is a poignant one.
It is one of the sadnesses of old age to see things that we have known and loved gradually fall into disrepair. The ravages of age are indiscriminate. Your poem shows great empathy with your friend. The metaphor is a poignant one.
Comment Written 14-Aug-2019
Comment from V McCrary
I might be biased, being that I was born in Harlan County, KY and raised in the town of Appalachia (Greetings Homey :-) but I felt every word of this poem and was also moved to a tear as it reminded me of my father. We had a few special places he liked to take us as he had seen them built and thrive and later, merely survive. Definitely well written and worth the read. Thanks for sharing. V
I might be biased, being that I was born in Harlan County, KY and raised in the town of Appalachia (Greetings Homey :-) but I felt every word of this poem and was also moved to a tear as it reminded me of my father. We had a few special places he liked to take us as he had seen them built and thrive and later, merely survive. Definitely well written and worth the read. Thanks for sharing. V
Comment Written 14-Aug-2019