Not Again?
Lost In The Woods4 total reviews
Comment from frogbook
An interesting story as it is true, it seems. And more than one time lost!. Well written for the theme. Best of luck in the voting booth.
reply by the author on 16-Nov-2016
An interesting story as it is true, it seems. And more than one time lost!. Well written for the theme. Best of luck in the voting booth.
Comment Written 16-Nov-2016
reply by the author on 16-Nov-2016
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all in fiction but is believable
Comment from T.davisartsandcrafts
I'm flattered that you used my art work for your story. This is a very nice story for the painting. I like how you're telling a tale about what is happening here. Please feel free to view my portfolio at fan are review for more paintings. Good luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 15-Nov-2016
I'm flattered that you used my art work for your story. This is a very nice story for the painting. I like how you're telling a tale about what is happening here. Please feel free to view my portfolio at fan are review for more paintings. Good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 15-Nov-2016
reply by the author on 15-Nov-2016
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thank you so much for allowing me to present your photos with my writing for the contest. You have great work and am proud to call you friend
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Thank you.
Comment from Brett Matthew West
Getting lost is never fun.
Getting lost hunting would be even more hazardous for a variety of reasons.
Not to mention you may, at that time, become the hunted instead of the hunter.
Should make an interesting entry into this contest.
reply by the author on 15-Nov-2016
Getting lost is never fun.
Getting lost hunting would be even more hazardous for a variety of reasons.
Not to mention you may, at that time, become the hunted instead of the hunter.
Should make an interesting entry into this contest.
Comment Written 15-Nov-2016
reply by the author on 15-Nov-2016
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thank you for your kind support
Comment from giraffmang
Hi there,
I think you should be consistent in your use of line breaks to present the story. It is a good idea to use them for each paragraph and each new piece of dialogue. As it is the breaks here seem quite arbitrary.
he said,"It says - need a space after the comma.
They rode for another ten miles in hopes to see a sign. - this is written in third person narrative which then swops to - I said to my dad. - which is first person narrative. This needs to be consistent. It's very jarring.
"Pull up to that fence there is some kind of sign propped up there shot full of holes", I said - the comma should be inside the speech marks.
Well lets continue down this road - let's (abbreviation for let us).
Of course they said,Okay,- need a space before okay - it also doesn't need capitalised. it would if it was in speech marks.
up for the hunt, Never thinking - never.
teasing me about Buck Fever. / get of all things Buck fever - need consistency here for spelling - capitals or not, should be the same.
"Maybe this year would be different all I could do was try right?" I asked my brother - I think in direct speech it should be 'Maybe this year will be different, all I can do is try. right?'
Dad helped Uncle Ben into the Suv - SUV should be capitalised as it isn't a word but abbreviated like FBI and USA.
He turned and looked at us and said , "She is serious too!" - delete the space after said.
sure there was no lingering human scant on our clothes - human scent.
in the woods just sitting ,watching, and listening - move the space in front of the first comma to after it.
The tone in this shifts half way through from a story to a direct addressing of the reader. It makes the piece feel a little disjointed.
From this section - Getting lost while hunting? - it lifts the reader out from the events.
We where finally back where we were - we were finally.
We where finally back where we were at when we entered - this is awkward and quite a mouthful. I would suggest streamlining it somewhat - we finally made out way back to our starting point.
high tailed - hightailed.
All the best
GMG
reply by the author on 15-Nov-2016
Hi there,
I think you should be consistent in your use of line breaks to present the story. It is a good idea to use them for each paragraph and each new piece of dialogue. As it is the breaks here seem quite arbitrary.
he said,"It says - need a space after the comma.
They rode for another ten miles in hopes to see a sign. - this is written in third person narrative which then swops to - I said to my dad. - which is first person narrative. This needs to be consistent. It's very jarring.
"Pull up to that fence there is some kind of sign propped up there shot full of holes", I said - the comma should be inside the speech marks.
Well lets continue down this road - let's (abbreviation for let us).
Of course they said,Okay,- need a space before okay - it also doesn't need capitalised. it would if it was in speech marks.
up for the hunt, Never thinking - never.
teasing me about Buck Fever. / get of all things Buck fever - need consistency here for spelling - capitals or not, should be the same.
"Maybe this year would be different all I could do was try right?" I asked my brother - I think in direct speech it should be 'Maybe this year will be different, all I can do is try. right?'
Dad helped Uncle Ben into the Suv - SUV should be capitalised as it isn't a word but abbreviated like FBI and USA.
He turned and looked at us and said , "She is serious too!" - delete the space after said.
sure there was no lingering human scant on our clothes - human scent.
in the woods just sitting ,watching, and listening - move the space in front of the first comma to after it.
The tone in this shifts half way through from a story to a direct addressing of the reader. It makes the piece feel a little disjointed.
From this section - Getting lost while hunting? - it lifts the reader out from the events.
We where finally back where we were - we were finally.
We where finally back where we were at when we entered - this is awkward and quite a mouthful. I would suggest streamlining it somewhat - we finally made out way back to our starting point.
high tailed - hightailed.
All the best
GMG
Comment Written 15-Nov-2016
reply by the author on 15-Nov-2016
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THANK YOU FOR YOUR SUPPORT ENJOYED THIS