Reviews from

This fear of death

Rondeau for potlatch

17 total reviews 
Comment from brenda bickers
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Hi Lij,
most people wrote about demons and monsters that they fear, but I suspect 99% of us fear death. You have chosen a great form of fear and so fifferent from all the others. A great read and different.
Brenda:))x

 Comment Written 12-Sep-2016


reply by the author on 12-Sep-2016
    Ghosts and zombies are for the young. Old guys like me fear incontinence and the reaper. Thanks very much for reading and reviewing.
Comment from Pearl Edwards
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

This is an interesting reply to this challenge of fear Red, the fear of death creeping up on us.
My youth is just a memory - I can associate with that line that's for sure.
Enjoyed,
cheers,
valda.

 Comment Written 12-Sep-2016


reply by the author on 12-Sep-2016
    Old men with too much time on their hands fear a lot. Thanks very much for reading and reviewing my challenge entry.
Comment from KyColonel Randal
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

This is a nice Rondeau. It is neat to see so many people working on these. It is one of my favorite forms. Thank you for sharing.

 Comment Written 11-Sep-2016


reply by the author on 12-Sep-2016
    Thanks very much for reading and reviewing my challenged Rondeau. Have a great week.
Comment from jaded831
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Some days I can't think of anything else, I'm only fifty nine, but death weighs on my mind. Especially when my arthritis kicks up and I can barely move. Your poem flows easily, reads well and has a theme many of us can relate to. My only advice is to try to live 5 minutes at a time and try to enjoy each moment. Worrying is not going to help, we are all born to die.

 Comment Written 11-Sep-2016


reply by the author on 11-Sep-2016
    There are so many of us who are a little tired...I was surprised by the response to this Rondeau. Thank you very much for reading and reviewing, and let's spend every five minutes as best we can. No, we can't add a second by taking thought...
Comment from Lovinia
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

Hi LIJ

A fine rondeau with your own unique note, serious and fearful, yet calm in a way. You tap into a universal fear ... though mostly we feel this one in our older age. Even at sixty, I find myself in the time-zone. I often wonder how I'd feel if I knew when my time was up. My mother is ninety one next month, some days she enjoys life so much, she says she is too young to die, others, I guess she feels like she's had enough and would like it to be over. I feel these lines express the alternating feelings:-

"My youth is just a memory
but blood is pumping ardently.
An ancient wreck the people say--
he loves existence anyway." -- perhaps it is all about the love of life as to how one deals with the thoughts of the end coming. My mother will discuss it freely and without real fear, though at her age, I guess one can be pleased, especially as she lived her life her way.

I have a fear greater than death, that is to be unable to care for myself until the end comes... a sound mind and body is important to me... and independence.

Great work here, in correct rondeau form with meter and rhyme ... all in order. Keep the old ticker pumping. Hugs - Lovi xoxo

 Comment Written 11-Sep-2016


reply by the author on 11-Sep-2016
    That was the idea I tried to express with the ignominy line-a loss of independence and pride, as well as moral strength. Thanks very much for reading and reviewing my morbid attempt at a Rondeau. And especially thanks for the exceptional rating. I'm so glad you liked it.
Comment from ciliverde
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Beautiful job, very personal, to you and honestly, to all of us. We're all headed there, and none of us know when we'll arrive - most of us do cling ardently to existence. How can we fathom our whole being just going away? It's a problem that has plagued mankind, since our old ancestor crawled out of the ocean.
Well done,
Carol

 Comment Written 11-Sep-2016


reply by the author on 11-Sep-2016
    No one appreciates life until he sees the end coming-no matter how far away, hopefully--but the clock is running. Thanks very much for reading and reviewing.
Comment from Jannypan (Jan)
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

LIJ,
You did a great job with the rondeau challenge. Your topic is well expressed, but a bit haunting at the same time. I get a felling of dread from it. Your lines read smoothly, there is good use of rhyme, & your message is easily understood. Good job & thanks for sharing. Jan

 Comment Written 11-Sep-2016


reply by the author on 11-Sep-2016
    It was a lovely, breezy, cool afternoon so I went round to the family graves, and got into a mood.
    Thanks very much for reading and reviewing.
Comment from Jay Squires
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

I think it's simply (simply!) the will to survive, Red. What else has us digging our nails into the cliff edge of life's end, just to write one more Rondeau?

 Comment Written 11-Sep-2016


reply by the author on 11-Sep-2016
    Better writing Rondeaux than pushing up daisies. I'm finally into a longish sci-fi story. It would never
    fly on FS...I may stash it in portfolio if it turns out worth a crap...Thanks again for reading my poetry doodles...
Comment from Leineco
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

The penultimate threat LIJ - universally
fear inducing!
And, oh, how that fear grows as we grow
older. . .more aware with each passing day
of its inevitability.

Oddly, it seems no matter how much our
religions teach us of "boundless rewards in the
afterlife", or sell us eternal peace and serenity -
the fear of the unverifiable joins forces with
the fear of death itself

leaving us terrified.

Well done L :-)

 Comment Written 10-Sep-2016


reply by the author on 10-Sep-2016
    My family has all passed, and at seventy-two, it's hard not to have certain forebodings...thanks very much for reading and reviewing. A famous evangelist of century before last called it The Mystery, and Hobbes(Thomas, not Calvin and) called it a great leap into the dark...
Comment from Allison78
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

I think this is a really wonderful poem! You have written about death beautifully. Your meter sounds lovely to me and your rhyming scheme and syllable count is correct also. Great job!

 Comment Written 10-Sep-2016


reply by the author on 10-Sep-2016
    Thank you very much for reading and reviewing. I have practiced some on the Rondeau form, and this message was heartfelt.