Comment from Warren Rodgers

Excellent

Beautifully written sonnet, Janet. Your well chosen words and phrases paint a beautiful picture for the reader. Your meter is spot-on and the volta is strong. Excellent personification of the night sky. One thing I should mention, in stanza #3. lines one and three should rhyme but I don't think they do; sky/sway. Since this is a contest entry you may want to take a look at those lines. Good luck in the contest.
All the best,
Rodger

 Comment Written 03-Sep-2016

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reply by the author on 03-Sep-2016

Thank you Warren for your thoughtful and encouraging review.

I agreed with your assessment of line #3 in stanza 3.
I changed it to the following.
I think it rhymes much better.
Thank you for catching that one.

But there are shadows in the evening sky
that cause my dreams to wither, wane and fade;
obscuring moon and stars in smoky dye,
thus leaving me alone to masquerade.

Blessings
Janet

Comment from Jackarrie

Exceptional

I love this sonnet, brilliant imagery in every line. your wonderful description of what we take for granted

The moon emerges from its hiding place.
Its glow will cause an evening star to wake--
to blink and glimmer in the moon's embrace
and rouse the other stars on heaven's lake.

a definate six, well done Mary

 Comment Written 03-Sep-2016

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reply by the author on 03-Sep-2016

Thank you so much Mary for your thoughtful and encouraging review. I am so pleased with your comments and those beautiful six stars. .

Blessings
Janet

Comment from cterp

Excellent

There are some lovely images in here: heaven's lake for the night sky, day and night caressing, hope residing in the setting sun. All in all a gorgeously quiet sonnet.

chris

 Comment Written 02-Sep-2016

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reply by the author on 03-Sep-2016

Thank you chris for your thoughtful and encouraging review. I am so pleased with your comments.

Blessings
Janet

Comment from bichonfrisegirl

Excellent

This is a beautiful sonnet, Janet. There is a softness to the mood that you have created for your reader by using great wording to create such vivid imagery. "Then fade to darkness like a closing door" ... is my favourite line ... I love that!

Well done, and a pleasure to read! Good luck in the contest, Janet!

Connie

 Comment Written 02-Sep-2016

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reply by the author on 03-Sep-2016

Thank you so much Connie for your thoughtful and encouraging review. I am so pleased with your comments. Thank you too for sharing your favorite line. I really liked that line too.

Blessings
Janet

Comment from Dawn Munro

Excellent

Oh, what incredible imagery this beautifully crafted sonnet evokes - I especially loved the thought of a star being in the moon's embrace, and rousing other stars to 'glimmer' on heaven's lake. Serene and gorgeous, the volta a surprise, yet so wonderfully resolved with the closing couplet. Good luck in the contest with this flawless jewel.

 Comment Written 02-Sep-2016

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reply by the author on 03-Sep-2016

Thank you so much for your thoughtful and encouraging review. I am so pleased with your comments.

Blessings
Janet

Comment from trailblazer101

Excellent

This is good writing

The moon emerges from its hiding place.
Its glow will cause an evening star to wake--
to blink and glimmer in the moon's embrace
and rouse the other stars on heaven's lake.
Thats exactly what happened later that evening when the water calmed, it got dark and the stars reflected off the water.

 Comment Written 02-Sep-2016

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reply by the author on 03-Sep-2016

Thank you so much for your thoughtful and encouraging review. I am so pleased with your comments.

Blessings
Janet

Comment from rockinm76233

Excellent

Enjoyed so very much your beautiful descriptive words. Especially the shades of blue and cloudy gray unite then fade to darkness like closing a door. The awakening of the evening star. Enjoyed the read.

 Comment Written 02-Sep-2016

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reply by the author on 03-Sep-2016

Thank you so much for your thoughtful and encouraging review. I am so pleased with your comments and for sharing your favorite lines.

Blessings
Janet

reply by rockinm76233 on 03-Sep-2016

Your welcome

Comment from Alan K Pease

Excellent

Lovely sonnet written in iambic pentameter with an excellent choice of rhyme, metaphor and a measure of dreams that sometimes falter yet yield to better days.

 Comment Written 02-Sep-2016

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reply by the author on 03-Sep-2016

Thank you so much Alan for your thoughtful and encouraging review. I am so pleased with your comments.

Blessings
Janet

Comment from c_lucas

Excellent

In the heatwaves of Summer, the coolness of the evening brings welcome coolness. This is very well written with a smooth flow of words, making for a good read.

 Comment Written 02-Sep-2016

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reply by the author on 03-Sep-2016

Thank you so much Charlie for your thoughtful and encouraging review. I am so pleased with your comments.

Blessings
Janet

Comment from Sandra du Plessis

Excellent

A very well-written sonnet about a wonderful sunset that is turned into a night sky with the moon and stars. Every time the sun rises and sets we can be grateful to be able to see these wonders.

 Comment Written 02-Sep-2016

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reply by the author on 03-Sep-2016

Thank you so much Sandra for your thoughtful and encouraging review. I am so pleased with your comments.

Blessings
Janet