Bus Stop
A strange kiss13 total reviews
Comment from Alex Rosel
I enjoyed reading this. It's hard to write an evocative story in just 100 words, but this is a great attempt. Congratulations on coming out on top in the contest.
reply by the author on 31-Aug-2016
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I enjoyed reading this. It's hard to write an evocative story in just 100 words, but this is a great attempt. Congratulations on coming out on top in the contest.
Comment Written 31-Aug-2016
reply by the author on 31-Aug-2016
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Hi Alex Rose, Thank you for stopping by to read my 100 word das and for your congratulations. I like these challenges Ns glad you enjoyed my attempt . Many Cheers for a great day Christine😀
Comment from Judy Couch
I like the way you built up your story to the kiss and then to the woman in his life. It was a surprise when she came on the scene. Good job.
reply by the author on 31-Aug-2016
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I like the way you built up your story to the kiss and then to the woman in his life. It was a surprise when she came on the scene. Good job.
Comment Written 30-Aug-2016
reply by the author on 31-Aug-2016
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Hi Judy, many thanks for reading and reviewing my story I am pleased you enjoy the twist Cheers Christine😄
Comment from Dean Kuch
Oh, dis guy's what we call a play-ah in da hood. Kissin' two womens like that while one is waitin' on him.
Dat jes' ain't right, know what I'm sayin'?
Best of luck to you in the contest.
It has a defined beginning, a conflict (of sorts), and a conclusion what wraps it all up nicely...unless he were to get caught, that is, lol.
Good luck to you in the contest.
~Dean
reply by the author on 31-Aug-2016
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Oh, dis guy's what we call a play-ah in da hood. Kissin' two womens like that while one is waitin' on him.
Dat jes' ain't right, know what I'm sayin'?
Best of luck to you in the contest.
It has a defined beginning, a conflict (of sorts), and a conclusion what wraps it all up nicely...unless he were to get caught, that is, lol.
Good luck to you in the contest.
~Dean
Comment Written 30-Aug-2016
reply by the author on 31-Aug-2016
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Hi Dean, Thanks for your review and good luck wishes . it worked as I was equal winner with two others. I thought I would have another go at this particular 100 word dash and Glad you enjoyed my vivid imagination LOL Cheers Christine 😀😀
Comment from light
Great flash fiction. You descriptions were very good, and the reader can feel the passion. You did good job. I hope you do well in the contest.
Elaine
reply by the author on 31-Aug-2016
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Great flash fiction. You descriptions were very good, and the reader can feel the passion. You did good job. I hope you do well in the contest.
Elaine
Comment Written 29-Aug-2016
reply by the author on 31-Aug-2016
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Hi Elaine , Thanks very much for your review and kind words for my story and yes I did well equal winner with two others. so a nice surprise. much appreciation for your time Cheers Christine😀
Comment from BeasPeas
Hi Chrissy. Congratulations on winning the contest. Good little story of strangers on a bus. He doesn't seem to be the best bet for a relationship since he was two-timing his girl. Oh, the cad. This is a worthy story for the contest. Marilyn
reply by the author on 31-Aug-2016
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Hi Chrissy. Congratulations on winning the contest. Good little story of strangers on a bus. He doesn't seem to be the best bet for a relationship since he was two-timing his girl. Oh, the cad. This is a worthy story for the contest. Marilyn
Comment Written 29-Aug-2016
reply by the author on 31-Aug-2016
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Hi Marilyn, Thanks again for your congratulations for my 100 word dash. I don't often do stories but had fun with this one Ha!Ha and yes he was a cad, bit she didn't mind LOL Cheers Christine😄😀
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We love those 'bad boys,' don't we?
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Ha Ha some
Comment from Heather Knight
Not a very nice guy, cheating on his girlfriend like that with a total stranger, I have to say...
Well told story and good picture.
Good luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 29-Aug-2016
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Not a very nice guy, cheating on his girlfriend like that with a total stranger, I have to say...
Well told story and good picture.
Good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 29-Aug-2016
reply by the author on 29-Aug-2016
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Hi MJ. Thanks for reading my story and no he was not, but imagination is unlimited LOL . Thanks for your good luck wishes Cheers
Comment from Brett Matthew West
First paragraph is one run-on sentence that would read better if broken into two shorter ones.
"Waiting to catch the bus, I looked around." And "Our eyes locked momentarily and I knew he felt it too."
"Boarding I" should be "Boarding, I".
"strangers kiss" should be "stranger's kiss".
This overall quality of this contest entry could be improved with a little editing.
reply by the author on 29-Aug-2016
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First paragraph is one run-on sentence that would read better if broken into two shorter ones.
"Waiting to catch the bus, I looked around." And "Our eyes locked momentarily and I knew he felt it too."
"Boarding I" should be "Boarding, I".
"strangers kiss" should be "stranger's kiss".
This overall quality of this contest entry could be improved with a little editing.
Comment Written 29-Aug-2016
reply by the author on 29-Aug-2016
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Hi Brett. Thanks for your review and helpful comments I will revise some . Cheers
Comment from Bill Schott
The hundred- word story about a first kiss, Bus Stop, has a elevating story that puts the skids on at the end. The kiss and the reveal are both unusual happenings that fit well into your story.
reply by the author on 29-Aug-2016
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The hundred- word story about a first kiss, Bus Stop, has a elevating story that puts the skids on at the end. The kiss and the reveal are both unusual happenings that fit well into your story.
Comment Written 29-Aug-2016
reply by the author on 29-Aug-2016
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Hi Bill. Thanks for yor review and comment, always a story with a twist LOL appreciate your time to read this Cheers
Comment from Thomas Bowling
I'll bet your senior class voted you, the girl most likely. I love the story. Once in a while everyone needs something unexpected in their life to keep things interesting.
reply by the author on 29-Aug-2016
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I'll bet your senior class voted you, the girl most likely. I love the story. Once in a while everyone needs something unexpected in their life to keep things interesting.
Comment Written 28-Aug-2016
reply by the author on 29-Aug-2016
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Ha Ha Thomas, Glad you liked my vivid imagination and I hope it was interesting and a bit different. Appreciate your review Cheers
Comment from clsandau
This was a nicely written 100 word dash. I particularly enjoyed the startling ending to the story. I think you told the whole story very well with very few words. Great picture you have on it too. Carol
reply by the author on 29-Aug-2016
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This was a nicely written 100 word dash. I particularly enjoyed the startling ending to the story. I think you told the whole story very well with very few words. Great picture you have on it too. Carol
Comment Written 28-Aug-2016
reply by the author on 29-Aug-2016
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Hi Carol, Thank very mich for your encouraging words for my story took a bit of editing bit I am glad you thought it worthy and I liked that image also Cheers