Reviews from

For All The Wrong Reasons

Star Crossed Lovers

6 total reviews 
Comment from Maria Jose Garcia
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

I love the name you've chosen for your female character. In fact, it's my daughter's name.

I think you forgot an apostrophe in a feud against each other's family.

Thanks for sharing.

 Comment Written 21-Sep-2016


reply by the author on 21-Sep-2016
    THANK YOU FOR THE HEADS UP
Comment from Barb Hensongispsaca
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Oh wow this was very well written and an absoloutely wonderful story line of star crossed lovers.
No problems noted and to me a very strong entry

 Comment Written 22-Aug-2016


reply by the author on 22-Aug-2016
    yhank you kindly
Comment from Ric Myworld
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Yes, it happens oh too often, when families can't settle their differences and keep holding grudges for years. And you did a great job of writing an effective and convincing story of the traits. :-)

 Comment Written 21-Aug-2016


reply by the author on 21-Aug-2016
    thank you for your kindness
reply by the author on 21-Aug-2016
    thanks pal
Comment from Mystic Angel 7777
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

This meets the contest requirements beautifully. It reminds e a little of the feud between the Hatfield and McCoy family that raged on for decades as there was a love thwarted by their violence toward each other. I found no SPAG and it reads very smoothly. I think you developed it well and you certainly held my attention. You end on a note of hope which is always a good thing to include. I wish you all the best in the judging and thank you very much for sharing it.

 Comment Written 21-Aug-2016


reply by the author on 21-Aug-2016
    I am so glad it grabbed you attention a Romeo AND Juliet theme with a twist
Comment from DR DIP
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Wow that's not bad. It sorta had a Romeo and Juliet theme about it at the start you know parents that were feuding, forbidden love. I never usually read prose as you know but you got me in with this one mom!

well done and a good ending it seems with a good outcome.
does mike survive the war?

dip

 Comment Written 21-Aug-2016


reply by the author on 21-Aug-2016
    no that was why the lawyer showed up if anything happened the lawyer was to give mikes papers to he that hed left befor leavig on the train
Comment from c_lucas
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Minute problems can grow out of hand. This is very well written with a sad flow of words. There is very good imagery and descriptive scheme. Good luck in your contest.

 Comment Written 21-Aug-2016


reply by the author on 21-Aug-2016
    thank you