haiku(flap of butterfly)
Nature Haiku4 total reviews
Comment from Bollie
This is a very clever and creative poem with a beautiful photo that makes for a beautiful presentation. The main problem is that it doesn't meet the criteria for the contest. It's supposed to be long-short-long and this poem isn't. Best of luck in the contest.
This is a very clever and creative poem with a beautiful photo that makes for a beautiful presentation. The main problem is that it doesn't meet the criteria for the contest. It's supposed to be long-short-long and this poem isn't. Best of luck in the contest.
Comment Written 15-Aug-2016
Comment from Marykelly
The butterfly is a summer creature and as its wings wane the season begins to change. The imagery is vivid here and the butterfly offers a warning that summer is coming to an end. The word requiem makes the summer season all the more important to the speaker since it is not only coming to an end but all of the energy and carefree attitudes of summer are coming to an end with a deep sadness.
reply by the author on 21-Aug-2016
The butterfly is a summer creature and as its wings wane the season begins to change. The imagery is vivid here and the butterfly offers a warning that summer is coming to an end. The word requiem makes the summer season all the more important to the speaker since it is not only coming to an end but all of the energy and carefree attitudes of summer are coming to an end with a deep sadness.
Comment Written 13-Aug-2016
reply by the author on 21-Aug-2016
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Thanks for a wonderful review zanya
Comment from Pam (respa)
-Good topic for the contest.
-The connection between lines one and two is good.
-I like the image in line one.
-Effective satori line.
-You capture the effect of the
waning daylight of summer
on the butterfly well.
-Good luck in the contest.
-Check your syllable count; you have 18.
reply by the author on 21-Aug-2016
-Good topic for the contest.
-The connection between lines one and two is good.
-I like the image in line one.
-Effective satori line.
-You capture the effect of the
waning daylight of summer
on the butterfly well.
-Good luck in the contest.
-Check your syllable count; you have 18.
Comment Written 13-Aug-2016
reply by the author on 21-Aug-2016
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A great and much appreciated zanya
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You are welcome.
Comment from rspoet
This is a fine entry for the contest
but the syllables are off at 6-7-5
giving eighteen
Excellent imagery with good, though complex, connection
Good satori line and excellent picture
Except for the syllables,
Nicely done
Good luck in the contest
reply by the author on 21-Aug-2016
This is a fine entry for the contest
but the syllables are off at 6-7-5
giving eighteen
Excellent imagery with good, though complex, connection
Good satori line and excellent picture
Except for the syllables,
Nicely done
Good luck in the contest
Comment Written 13-Aug-2016
reply by the author on 21-Aug-2016
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Thanks for review and syllable reminder - much appreciated zanya