Love's sixth sense.
serenity waits as pain pauses on the shore.13 total reviews
Comment from kathleenspalding
Good poem with great metaphors and alliteration. Flows well. I don't see anything that needs to be corrected. Excellent choice of artwork. Wise words at the end. Thank you for sharing.
reply by the author on 26-Jul-2016
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Good poem with great metaphors and alliteration. Flows well. I don't see anything that needs to be corrected. Excellent choice of artwork. Wise words at the end. Thank you for sharing.
Comment Written 26-Jul-2016
reply by the author on 26-Jul-2016
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Thank you for the kind review.
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You're welcome
Comment from Lovinia
Hi Mystery Poet
A great presentation with that fabulous image. Such a beautifully worded lament. Love makes us mad and sad ...or both. Loved the gentle background piano and those superb images. You've used extensive poetic technique here. Great alliteration, occasional rhyme, most effective enjambment. Highly dramatic and intense, well considered phrasing. You've captured the essence of the prompt imho. I expect this to win this contest. I do wish you the best of luck. Warm Regards - Lovinia xoxo
reply by the author on 26-Jul-2016
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Hi Mystery Poet
A great presentation with that fabulous image. Such a beautifully worded lament. Love makes us mad and sad ...or both. Loved the gentle background piano and those superb images. You've used extensive poetic technique here. Great alliteration, occasional rhyme, most effective enjambment. Highly dramatic and intense, well considered phrasing. You've captured the essence of the prompt imho. I expect this to win this contest. I do wish you the best of luck. Warm Regards - Lovinia xoxo
Comment Written 26-Jul-2016
reply by the author on 26-Jul-2016
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Thanks, Lovinia. I at least placed third.
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I thought you should have done better in this one. You had my vote ... and I didn't know it was you. :)) To come in third can be quite a feat in the contest, so well done. Hugs - Lovi xoxo
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That's what happens when you don't vote for your own.
Comment from Bobbi22
From the cutting edge to the outgoing tide, your poem is filled with excellent alliteration to describe the loss of trust and missed warnings. Very well written. Good luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 25-Jul-2016
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From the cutting edge to the outgoing tide, your poem is filled with excellent alliteration to describe the loss of trust and missed warnings. Very well written. Good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 25-Jul-2016
reply by the author on 25-Jul-2016
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Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from Pantygynt
This is about lost love of course, that much is given in the set task and both parties seem to be as much at fault. She is naive and he is a deceiver. Tremendous imagery of torn fabric and ebb tides, but sorting out who is doing precisely what to whom I found difficult. I did wonder if that difficulty was engendered on purpose because of the difficulty in real life of sorting out such romantic entanglements.
reply by the author on 25-Jul-2016
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This is about lost love of course, that much is given in the set task and both parties seem to be as much at fault. She is naive and he is a deceiver. Tremendous imagery of torn fabric and ebb tides, but sorting out who is doing precisely what to whom I found difficult. I did wonder if that difficulty was engendered on purpose because of the difficulty in real life of sorting out such romantic entanglements.
Comment Written 25-Jul-2016
reply by the author on 25-Jul-2016
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Thank you for the kind review. No, it wasn't. To be honest with you, I was more focused on utilizing the five senses to move this deception forward.
Comment from Hawaiian Mermaid
Aloha from Hawaii, I like your poem, it sure tells it like it is when a good love goes bad. Been there, done that. The video is perfect, show the high surf we sometimes have to swim through.
reply by the author on 25-Jul-2016
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Aloha from Hawaii, I like your poem, it sure tells it like it is when a good love goes bad. Been there, done that. The video is perfect, show the high surf we sometimes have to swim through.
Comment Written 25-Jul-2016
reply by the author on 25-Jul-2016
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Thank you for the kind review. Was in your glorious state 18 years ago when my grandson was born. My son was military.
Comment from Nika2016
A beautiful little poem in ocean blue that tells of love's deceit...a premonition of wrong and love lost....She...sends these feelings out to sea...
Excellent writing.
Appealing.
reply by the author on 25-Jul-2016
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A beautiful little poem in ocean blue that tells of love's deceit...a premonition of wrong and love lost....She...sends these feelings out to sea...
Excellent writing.
Appealing.
Comment Written 25-Jul-2016
reply by the author on 25-Jul-2016
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Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from Joan E.
Wow, you really captured a love gone wrong! I admired your powerful use of the "scissors" and "talons" metaphors and all of your vivid imagery. This entry will be hard to beat! Brava!! -Joan
reply by the author on 25-Jul-2016
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Wow, you really captured a love gone wrong! I admired your powerful use of the "scissors" and "talons" metaphors and all of your vivid imagery. This entry will be hard to beat! Brava!! -Joan
Comment Written 25-Jul-2016
reply by the author on 25-Jul-2016
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Thanks for the great review, Joan. And the bonus star.
Comment from Hayley Solomon
Very well done. I suspect I know the author just by style. Excellent depiction, very good use of language and metaphor.Rather sickening, but that is wholly the point, so six stars it is.
reply by the author on 25-Jul-2016
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Very well done. I suspect I know the author just by style. Excellent depiction, very good use of language and metaphor.Rather sickening, but that is wholly the point, so six stars it is.
Comment Written 24-Jul-2016
reply by the author on 25-Jul-2016
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Thank you for the kind review and the bonus star.
Comment from winnona
Your poem is powerful and has a very strong presence to it. The words flow together forming their own unique rhythm and power line to line. then they send the strong message to the reader. Beautiful choice of artwork and music to accompany the poem.
reply by the author on 25-Jul-2016
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Your poem is powerful and has a very strong presence to it. The words flow together forming their own unique rhythm and power line to line. then they send the strong message to the reader. Beautiful choice of artwork and music to accompany the poem.
Comment Written 24-Jul-2016
reply by the author on 25-Jul-2016
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Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from Spiritual Echo
I could feel the biting grip of sharks ready to undermine and steal my trust in every verse of your poem. Great look at reality, the doubts, fears and betrayal when innocence gets destroyed.
Excellent response to this prompt.
reply by the author on 25-Jul-2016
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I could feel the biting grip of sharks ready to undermine and steal my trust in every verse of your poem. Great look at reality, the doubts, fears and betrayal when innocence gets destroyed.
Excellent response to this prompt.
Comment Written 24-Jul-2016
reply by the author on 25-Jul-2016
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Thanks for the great review.
