Reviews from

Confidence In My Self

Lesson Learned The Hard Way

5 total reviews 
Comment from Shelli 1
Excellent
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What a very inspiring story, full of courage and faith.I truly loved this story and is a true inspiration to others that face adversity in there life. Keep the faith

 Comment Written 02-Aug-2016


reply by the author on 03-Aug-2016
    THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR YOUR KNDNESS
Comment from barkingdog
Excellent
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Hi, CRW.
This is a wonderful story of courage and determination as a young woman overcomes her physical challenges to compete in the rodeo again.
It sounds so real. I had to check to see if it was fiction. Excellent story telling.

A few edits:
-distract you and [to] defeat you. (T)ake a good hard look at what you are doing," he said, "then you will see [things] clearly what is standing between you and winning. Maybe [he said,"] you need to take some time and stop listening so much to others.
-After losing (the use of) my legs, Grandpa's
-Rehab to go home(,) I began to prove to
-Like Grandpa said I could do anything I put my mind to. (no quote marks)

Grandpa told people I was too stubborn and I was determined I wasn't going to let life pass me by sitting in a wheelchair. (no quote marks)
-substitute horse he is(was) right there gently waiting in the wings.
-you can handle(,) but I wasn't
- since my accident(,) and I will pray for a
-God isn't through with us just yet(. He) has a bigger calling for us to give hope and happiness for the handicapped.

Good luck in the contest.

:) e

 Comment Written 25-Jul-2016


reply by the author on 25-Jul-2016
    thank you for the heads up
Comment from Brett Matthew West
Excellent
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"Take..." should be take - no need for the additional quotation mark in front of the word take as "grandpa" is continuing to speak.

Listen to... and for you should probably be enclosed in quotation marks as it appears "grandpa" is speaking these words.

"my self" should be "myself".

There should be a line space between "believe" and "grandpa".

"to stubborn" should be "too stubborn".

Should be a line space between "paralyzed" and "My mom'.

"with in" should be "within".

"rode" should be "rodeo".

Last lengthy paragraph should be broken into several smaller ones including separating the spoken words from the rest of the paragraphs.

Since this is a contest entry you may wish to revisit these suggested edits in order to improve the overall quality of this piece.

 Comment Written 24-Jul-2016


reply by the author on 24-Jul-2016
    thank you for the heads up
Comment from mfowler
Excellent
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Your story isn't just a normal rider and horse tale, but a story of transition and bravery. Throughout your essay you speak of learning this and that and the joy you get from feeling and seeing your horse perform. Not for the winning, but for the joy of succeeding. You quote often; your grandfather, people in general. each quote not only shows the readers your philosophy, but also that you listen and learn. You seem to have imparted that attitude and ability to communicate to your horse as you've battled against adversity and found a way to make a difficult activity work. This is a wonderful story of growth; one I enjoyed immensely. I've included a few notes on things that might help the text flow more smoothly:
you. "Take...remove the inverted commas before 'take'. Your first set in the paragraph cover that.
winners circle...winner's
from the waist down ...
period needed to end the sentence.
My horse new ... knew
I use to ride just ride around and check things out ... should be ... used I use to ride around and check things out

 Comment Written 24-Jul-2016


reply by the author on 24-Jul-2016
    thank you for the heads up
Comment from Hayley Solomon
Excellent
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A very well written story, with a lot given to the reader to think about.
Just a small thing...
there is a spelling error: My horse new I loved him should rather read My horse knew I loved him ...

 Comment Written 24-Jul-2016


reply by the author on 24-Jul-2016
    thank you for the heads up