For The Love Of Mayzie
A mother's sacrifice for her child20 total reviews
Comment from Susanne M. Psyris
Good job for a quick scrawling. I read it twice and couldn't see any discrepancies or other types of errors. A thrilling read. Kept me interested from beginning to end. Left me wanting to know more! Great work. Good luck in the contest! God bless and hugs, Susanne
reply by the author on 28-Jul-2016
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Good job for a quick scrawling. I read it twice and couldn't see any discrepancies or other types of errors. A thrilling read. Kept me interested from beginning to end. Left me wanting to know more! Great work. Good luck in the contest! God bless and hugs, Susanne
Comment Written 28-Jul-2016
reply by the author on 28-Jul-2016
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Thank you. I am thinking about writing more of this story. So many want to know what becomes of Maria and Mayzie. I will get my brain to work on it. Any suggestions?
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You could have Maria flash back to when she first learned that Mayzie was being abused? Just a thought. You have a great beginning! God bless and hugs, Susanne
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You could have Maria flash back to when she first learned that Mayzie was being abused? Just a thought. You have a great beginning! God bless and hugs, Susanne
Comment from BeasPeas
This is an interesting story, clearly written on a topic that is all too often true, i.e., molestation of one's own children. Even though this story is fiction, it's important to write about such abuse. Marilyn
reply by the author on 28-Jul-2016
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This is an interesting story, clearly written on a topic that is all too often true, i.e., molestation of one's own children. Even though this story is fiction, it's important to write about such abuse. Marilyn
Comment Written 28-Jul-2016
reply by the author on 28-Jul-2016
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Thank you. I intend to add more to this story when I get some time. The reviewers want to know what happens to Maria and Mayzie.
Comment from Mary Wakeford
Wow, am excellent read that had me hooked from the first paragraph. Your storyline progresses well and ends with the reader wanting more. Excellent!
reply by the author on 27-Jul-2016
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Wow, am excellent read that had me hooked from the first paragraph. Your storyline progresses well and ends with the reader wanting more. Excellent!
Comment Written 26-Jul-2016
reply by the author on 27-Jul-2016
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Thank you. I may write more of this story. It seems everyone keeps asking me what happens to Maria? I don't know myself yet, but I'm working on it.
Comment from Kooky Clown
I did not look for any mistakes as I enjoyed it so much that I forgot to look for any. I was so engrossed in the story and how it was developing, I was trying to figure out how it would end and I still don't know.
reply by the author on 26-Jul-2016
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I did not look for any mistakes as I enjoyed it so much that I forgot to look for any. I was so engrossed in the story and how it was developing, I was trying to figure out how it would end and I still don't know.
Comment Written 26-Jul-2016
reply by the author on 26-Jul-2016
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Thank you. I am considering writing some more to this story and using this for the first chapter then going back to where it all started. Then adding a final chapter that tells what became of Maria and Mayzie. does that sound good to you?
Comment from Sandra Stoner-Mitchell
That was an excellent story for the contest. I could imagine a mother doing that too, I know I would and not feel a trace of guilt in doing so. The story is very well written, planned out and the plot unfolds in a nice easy way that we are rooting for the wife and her daughter. Well done, and good luck in the contest. :) Sandra
reply by the author on 26-Jul-2016
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That was an excellent story for the contest. I could imagine a mother doing that too, I know I would and not feel a trace of guilt in doing so. The story is very well written, planned out and the plot unfolds in a nice easy way that we are rooting for the wife and her daughter. Well done, and good luck in the contest. :) Sandra
Comment Written 26-Jul-2016
reply by the author on 26-Jul-2016
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Thank you. I'm going to have to write more of this story because not knowing what becomes of Maria and Mayzie is driving me nuts. LOL
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LOL, I am so pleased! xx
Comment from Bill O'Bier
A great entry.....you did a fine job with this piece. I was quickly drawn in and wanted to find out what happens next. Good luck in the contest.
Wishing you the best,
Bill
reply by the author on 26-Jul-2016
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A great entry.....you did a fine job with this piece. I was quickly drawn in and wanted to find out what happens next. Good luck in the contest.
Wishing you the best,
Bill
Comment Written 26-Jul-2016
reply by the author on 26-Jul-2016
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Thank you. I intend to find out what happened to Maria and Mayzie in a later write.
Comment from Kate Tompkins
The story definitely got my attention. It's generally well-written, though as stated in the author notes, could use a copy edit to clean up some minor grammar issues.
I'm not sure arsenic would actually kill someone that quickly, or at least not without making them violently ill first. Perhaps she could also lace his drink with sleeping pills?
A good vengeance story, which wouldn't be out of place in a collection of mystery stories.
reply by the author on 26-Jul-2016
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The story definitely got my attention. It's generally well-written, though as stated in the author notes, could use a copy edit to clean up some minor grammar issues.
I'm not sure arsenic would actually kill someone that quickly, or at least not without making them violently ill first. Perhaps she could also lace his drink with sleeping pills?
A good vengeance story, which wouldn't be out of place in a collection of mystery stories.
Comment Written 26-Jul-2016
reply by the author on 26-Jul-2016
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Thank you. Good Idea, I will go back and add sleeping pills to the story. I wasn't sure about arsenic either. It was the only poison I could think of in a hurry.
Comment from Mabaker
Hey, that was very good. Everyone hates a child molester and wishes them dead so we have no sympathy for them at all. She didn't even want any of the money that shows real hatred. Good for her, hope he rots in Hell. Regards Mabaker.
reply by the author on 26-Jul-2016
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Hey, that was very good. Everyone hates a child molester and wishes them dead so we have no sympathy for them at all. She didn't even want any of the money that shows real hatred. Good for her, hope he rots in Hell. Regards Mabaker.
Comment Written 26-Jul-2016
reply by the author on 26-Jul-2016
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Thank you, Ma. I might have to finish this story later. I have too many reviewers who want to know what happens to Maria.
Comment from MTF1955
WOW that was some powerful writing. Now I'm intrigued to know what happened to Marie and if her brother was as good as his word. Though I suspect he would be. Great job. Mary
reply by the author on 26-Jul-2016
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WOW that was some powerful writing. Now I'm intrigued to know what happened to Marie and if her brother was as good as his word. Though I suspect he would be. Great job. Mary
Comment Written 25-Jul-2016
reply by the author on 26-Jul-2016
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Thank you. I intend to finish this story soon. There is a word limit on this flash fiction. It's driving me nuts trying to figure out what became of Maria and Mayzie. LOL
Comment from dmt1967
This would make a great first chapter of a book. I was hooked from the first word to the last word and hoped they both would get away. Good luck in the contest and thank you for sharing.
reply by the author on 26-Jul-2016
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This would make a great first chapter of a book. I was hooked from the first word to the last word and hoped they both would get away. Good luck in the contest and thank you for sharing.
Comment Written 25-Jul-2016
reply by the author on 26-Jul-2016
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Thank you. I hear you and intend to write more on this story. If I don't it will drive me crazy wondering what happened to all of them. LOL