Astatula (Final Edition)
Viewing comments for Chapter 8 "Nature's Call"A young boy tries to turn his life around.Can he?
23 total reviews
Comment from Miriam Collins
I love to read your writing! It is in perfect good-story format which flows along so nicely. Your writing is enjoyable to read. I love the little details you use, as many of them remind me of my childhood on a farm, such as, "cracked corn", and the "plastic Cool Whip container". Also the line in about the 20th paragraph, "danger can lurk in every situation" is a very hard truth for this young boy to have to remember. It is sad that he would have to hang on to the constant fear of being hurt, something that can have a brutal affect on adulthood. Once again another great chapter!
reply by the author on 08-May-2018
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I love to read your writing! It is in perfect good-story format which flows along so nicely. Your writing is enjoyable to read. I love the little details you use, as many of them remind me of my childhood on a farm, such as, "cracked corn", and the "plastic Cool Whip container". Also the line in about the 20th paragraph, "danger can lurk in every situation" is a very hard truth for this young boy to have to remember. It is sad that he would have to hang on to the constant fear of being hurt, something that can have a brutal affect on adulthood. Once again another great chapter!
Comment Written 04-May-2018
reply by the author on 08-May-2018
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Thanks. Glad you enjoyed this portion of Cody's story. Appreciate you taking the time to read it and write a review. I invite you to follow along as the rest of the story unfolds.
Comment from Madelyn1
I enjoyed reading this chapter. I haven't read any others, but I thought it was well written, interesting and funny.
In the line "The canister sat next to a five-pound Maxwell House Coffee can full of assorted nuts, bolts, screws, washers, and who knows what?" I thought perhaps it would be better to end with a . instead of a ?.
And "Or, we might just listen to music and talk about any countless number of things boys are age talked about." should be 'our age'.
It is a really good chapter.
reply by the author on 08-May-2018
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I enjoyed reading this chapter. I haven't read any others, but I thought it was well written, interesting and funny.
In the line "The canister sat next to a five-pound Maxwell House Coffee can full of assorted nuts, bolts, screws, washers, and who knows what?" I thought perhaps it would be better to end with a . instead of a ?.
And "Or, we might just listen to music and talk about any countless number of things boys are age talked about." should be 'our age'.
It is a really good chapter.
Comment Written 04-May-2018
reply by the author on 08-May-2018
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Glad you enjoyed this portion of Cody's story. Appreciate the review. I invite you to ride along as the rest of the story unfolds.
Comment from Harry Smith
I can always tell when I get to read another of your book. The picture selection is just eye catching. This chapter is filled with both imagery and emotions and kept the reader interested from beginning to ending.
reply by the author on 12-May-2018
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I can always tell when I get to read another of your book. The picture selection is just eye catching. This chapter is filled with both imagery and emotions and kept the reader interested from beginning to ending.
Comment Written 04-May-2018
reply by the author on 12-May-2018
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Glad you enjoyed this portion of Cody's story. Appreciate the continue support.
Comment from Roxanna Andrews
As always well done. I am enjoying reading about the adventures of Cody. The story is well written and I saw no error. I have no suggestions for improvements. Look forward to reading more.
reply by the author on 05-Apr-2018
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As always well done. I am enjoying reading about the adventures of Cody. The story is well written and I saw no error. I have no suggestions for improvements. Look forward to reading more.
Comment Written 04-Apr-2018
reply by the author on 05-Apr-2018
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Glad you enjoyed this portion of Cody's story. Appreciate you taking the time to read it and write a review.
Comment from Lloyd T. Okoko
The character outlay comprises Cody, Sheriff, Beth, Matt and others in the campsite.
It's dual setting made up of Daniel's house and the campsite.
The scenario opens with birds chirping and eating cracked corn at the back yard.
Sheriff wakes up Cody to come and be about his morning chores of taking care of the chicks in the poultry. With that done they leave for the campsite.
With several campsite games at their disposal, Cody engages in mountain climbing only to slip off and get himself injured.
Sheriff Daniel helps him out of his predicament and takes him home with a fractured ankle.
The work constitutes a significant commentary that attests to a flourishing cordial relationship between a struggling boy(Cody) and his foster father (Sheriff).
Outstanding work! Keep the flag flying!
reply by the author on 05-Apr-2018
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The character outlay comprises Cody, Sheriff, Beth, Matt and others in the campsite.
It's dual setting made up of Daniel's house and the campsite.
The scenario opens with birds chirping and eating cracked corn at the back yard.
Sheriff wakes up Cody to come and be about his morning chores of taking care of the chicks in the poultry. With that done they leave for the campsite.
With several campsite games at their disposal, Cody engages in mountain climbing only to slip off and get himself injured.
Sheriff Daniel helps him out of his predicament and takes him home with a fractured ankle.
The work constitutes a significant commentary that attests to a flourishing cordial relationship between a struggling boy(Cody) and his foster father (Sheriff).
Outstanding work! Keep the flag flying!
Comment Written 04-Apr-2018
reply by the author on 05-Apr-2018
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Appreciate the in depth review. Glad you enjoyed this portion of Cody's story.
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Remain Blessed!
Comment from Swampfox1
Great job. Good luck in the contest. I could not find any errors.It reads very well. It is laid well . I did not like the ending, it was very disappointing. Sooo - "But, I digress from what I was telling you earlier. So, back to my bedroom, and facing the consequences of starting the fight with Matt, I must go down the road less traveled. " is it saying that this was an April fool's sort of thing that never took place and everything read was just a joke or never happened? I did not like that at all. Too little detail in some places such as , "small trinkets our reward" when referring to looking for Indian artifacts. Thanks for sharing.
reply by the author on 05-Apr-2018
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Great job. Good luck in the contest. I could not find any errors.It reads very well. It is laid well . I did not like the ending, it was very disappointing. Sooo - "But, I digress from what I was telling you earlier. So, back to my bedroom, and facing the consequences of starting the fight with Matt, I must go down the road less traveled. " is it saying that this was an April fool's sort of thing that never took place and everything read was just a joke or never happened? I did not like that at all. Too little detail in some places such as , "small trinkets our reward" when referring to looking for Indian artifacts. Thanks for sharing.
Comment Written 04-Apr-2018
reply by the author on 05-Apr-2018
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The ending was necessary in order to return the story back to where it left off in the previous chapter and will pick up again in the next one. No, it was not an April Fool's joke.
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Okay, you're welcome
Comment from apky
I like the way you have an eye for small details that bring a story alive, such as the writing on the can with the missing letters. This put the reader right in there alongside the protagonist.
The dialogue is also natural and flows well. All in all, a well written piece - hopefully it won the contest!
reply by the author on 05-Apr-2018
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I like the way you have an eye for small details that bring a story alive, such as the writing on the can with the missing letters. This put the reader right in there alongside the protagonist.
The dialogue is also natural and flows well. All in all, a well written piece - hopefully it won the contest!
Comment Written 04-Apr-2018
reply by the author on 05-Apr-2018
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Appreciate your continued support of this story. Glad you enjoy it.
Comment from Pamusart
The last chapter I read had the fight between Matt and Cody. Did I miss anything between that and this chapter? I never knew Cody's punishment for they. Thank you for sharing another nice chapter in your book
reply by the author on 04-Apr-2018
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The last chapter I read had the fight between Matt and Cody. Did I miss anything between that and this chapter? I never knew Cody's punishment for they. Thank you for sharing another nice chapter in your book
Comment Written 04-Apr-2018
reply by the author on 04-Apr-2018
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Cody and Matt fought in Chapter 2. To catch you up some: the Sheriff has decided Cody's punishment for starting that fight and then lying about it. The consequences have not been administered yet. However...
Glad you are following this story along. FanStory statistics show that since I first introduced Cody to the site more than 9,000 members have read all, or portions of his story.
That is unbelievable to me! More than 9,000 members! (That is not a typo.)
Seems these members can't get enough of Cody or his antics. That's why I keep writing about him.
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Are you sure you are not counting members multiple times? I reviewed the fight chapter and of this chapter. Did you only count me once or twice once for each review?
Comment from Judy Couch
I like the build up of suspense at the beginning. It was quickly apparent that something bad was going to happen. I did not like the treat of: "by the buckle end of my belt!" As a retired child protection worker, I know the kind of damage that can be done by that weapon. Someone who calls himself a sheriff wouldn't even think about using it on a kid. I like the abrupt ending when the reader knows what is going to happen next.
reply by the author on 03-Aug-2016
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I like the build up of suspense at the beginning. It was quickly apparent that something bad was going to happen. I did not like the treat of: "by the buckle end of my belt!" As a retired child protection worker, I know the kind of damage that can be done by that weapon. Someone who calls himself a sheriff wouldn't even think about using it on a kid. I like the abrupt ending when the reader knows what is going to happen next.
Comment Written 03-Aug-2016
reply by the author on 03-Aug-2016
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Oh but did the reader know for sure how the story ended?
I have had several suggestions as to how that happened..
That was why I left it open ended for the reader to make up their own mind.
So, the story was very successful, and so true to life.
A child protection worker should understand the need for child discipline.
Or perhaps the lack thereof is why so many cases of juvenile delinquency run rampant in today's courts?
I have often wondered why they did.
Thanks for the insight on why that problem exists in such an amazing proportion in modern society.
Now if only we can teach them not to run around with their underwear showing on display, or perhaps child protection workers believe they should run around with nothing at all on?
Maybe that is why they do so?
Comment from heyjude
Mystery writer, a good entry for the "It was one of those days" contest.
You left us hanging and wondering what happened to Cody. This
indeed was a terrible day even if he survived the snake bite.
reply by the author on 31-Jul-2016
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Mystery writer, a good entry for the "It was one of those days" contest.
You left us hanging and wondering what happened to Cody. This
indeed was a terrible day even if he survived the snake bite.
Comment Written 30-Jul-2016
reply by the author on 31-Jul-2016
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Glad you enjoyed this little tale. Your comments and support appreciated.
