Little Poems
Viewing comments for Chapter 424 "Upon the Web"Small and Specialty Poems
14 total reviews
Comment from I am Cat
tom,
This is chock full of wonderful alliterative verses, and brilliant imagery... your iambic meter is wonderful, and your short bursts in between verses, wonderfully chosen:
the waiting web.
Life forces ebb,
upon the web..
my favorite part:
The spider clings with lithe and lethal legs,
on which it springs to capture those ensnared.
No matter how the vanquished victim begs,
once bitten, then, it soon becomes impaired.
wonderful alliteration with:
lithe/lethal/legs
vanquished/victim
bitten/becomes
so brilliant I had to come back and award it what it deserves!
Bravo!
Cat
reply by the author on 24-Jul-2016
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tom,
This is chock full of wonderful alliterative verses, and brilliant imagery... your iambic meter is wonderful, and your short bursts in between verses, wonderfully chosen:
the waiting web.
Life forces ebb,
upon the web..
my favorite part:
The spider clings with lithe and lethal legs,
on which it springs to capture those ensnared.
No matter how the vanquished victim begs,
once bitten, then, it soon becomes impaired.
wonderful alliteration with:
lithe/lethal/legs
vanquished/victim
bitten/becomes
so brilliant I had to come back and award it what it deserves!
Bravo!
Cat
Comment Written 24-Jul-2016
reply by the author on 24-Jul-2016
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Thank you very much Cat for doing that for me. I am touched.
Comment from brenda bickers
Hi Treischel,
I really like your poem but the picture makes me shudder. LOL
Your 'cat-a -strophe' is nicely done and the rhyming is spot on.
Good meter and flow. Reads great aloud.
Brenda:))x
reply by the author on 22-Jul-2016
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Hi Treischel,
I really like your poem but the picture makes me shudder. LOL
Your 'cat-a -strophe' is nicely done and the rhyming is spot on.
Good meter and flow. Reads great aloud.
Brenda:))x
Comment Written 22-Jul-2016
reply by the author on 22-Jul-2016
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Thank you Brenda. I know what you mean, my first reaction was to grab my camera. My second was to grab the bug spray.
Comment from nancy_e_davis
Your poem is very well done and interesting Tom. I HATE spiders and snakes and scorpions, vinegar-roons and centipedes. HAHA. I think most people feel that way.
Lets just say creepy crawlers!I hate spiders so much I get a buzz warning in my ears when I see them and sometimes before I see them. I was frightened by one when I was small and it has bugged me all my life. Pun intended,XX Nancy
reply by the author on 22-Jul-2016
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Your poem is very well done and interesting Tom. I HATE spiders and snakes and scorpions, vinegar-roons and centipedes. HAHA. I think most people feel that way.
Lets just say creepy crawlers!I hate spiders so much I get a buzz warning in my ears when I see them and sometimes before I see them. I was frightened by one when I was small and it has bugged me all my life. Pun intended,XX Nancy
Comment Written 22-Jul-2016
reply by the author on 22-Jul-2016
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Thank you Nancy. I know what you mean, my first reaction was to grab my camera. My second was to grab the bug spray.
Comment from bichonfrisegirl
Hello Treishel,
Everything I wanted to know about spiders ... and more. This was an interesting read. This is not an easy format to master, but you did indeed master your cat-a-strophe poem!
Having one line stand alone after each quatrain gives great emphasis and impact to that line ... "the waiting web", "life forces ebb", and "upon the web". "A creature to vibrations fine attuned" is my favourite line. Excellent rhyming and excellent imagery is created for your reader.
I think if I were to see a 5.5 inch spider I would run ... in the other direction. :) I once did suffer from a spider bite that required antibiotic treatment. I can only imagine what that venom could do to a much smaller victim.
Well done!
Connie
reply by the author on 22-Jul-2016
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Hello Treishel,
Everything I wanted to know about spiders ... and more. This was an interesting read. This is not an easy format to master, but you did indeed master your cat-a-strophe poem!
Having one line stand alone after each quatrain gives great emphasis and impact to that line ... "the waiting web", "life forces ebb", and "upon the web". "A creature to vibrations fine attuned" is my favourite line. Excellent rhyming and excellent imagery is created for your reader.
I think if I were to see a 5.5 inch spider I would run ... in the other direction. :) I once did suffer from a spider bite that required antibiotic treatment. I can only imagine what that venom could do to a much smaller victim.
Well done!
Connie
Comment Written 22-Jul-2016
reply by the author on 22-Jul-2016
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Thank you Connie. Your review is outstanding in its concise assessment.
Comment from Preston McWhorter
Hi, Treischel,
Reading your poetry is an education both literally and figuratively. It has a liberal dose of natural science and literature--description of a spider and explanation of the art and craft of poetry--description of the structure and rhyme scheme of this poem. This is a beautiful exceptional poem. If i had a real star I would give it to you. The title is a horrible pun. You taste does need defending. Good luck in the
contest.
Your friend and colleague,
Preston
reply by the author on 22-Jul-2016
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Hi, Treischel,
Reading your poetry is an education both literally and figuratively. It has a liberal dose of natural science and literature--description of a spider and explanation of the art and craft of poetry--description of the structure and rhyme scheme of this poem. This is a beautiful exceptional poem. If i had a real star I would give it to you. The title is a horrible pun. You taste does need defending. Good luck in the
contest.
Your friend and colleague,
Preston
Comment Written 22-Jul-2016
reply by the author on 22-Jul-2016
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Thank you Preston for your insightful evaluation. I appreciate the compliment very much too.
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Thank you Preston for your insightful evaluation. I appreciate the compliment very much too.
Comment from Sandra du Plessis
A great poem about the American Grass Spider. They have their duty and function in nature but I prefer to stay clear from them. There is some nasty Spiders that can do much damage to a human. Great photo.
reply by the author on 22-Jul-2016
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A great poem about the American Grass Spider. They have their duty and function in nature but I prefer to stay clear from them. There is some nasty Spiders that can do much damage to a human. Great photo.
Comment Written 22-Jul-2016
reply by the author on 22-Jul-2016
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Thank you Sandra. Yes, there are. I don't like them either.
Comment from Joan E.
I learned a great deal about the American Grass spider from your notes and enjoyed your dramatic poem. I think the choice of the Cat-a-strophe form is brilliant and found your rhymes and emphatic, single lines very effective. Thanks for letting us know you took the picture of the specimen, and in your own garden. Cheers- Joan
reply by the author on 22-Jul-2016
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I learned a great deal about the American Grass spider from your notes and enjoyed your dramatic poem. I think the choice of the Cat-a-strophe form is brilliant and found your rhymes and emphatic, single lines very effective. Thanks for letting us know you took the picture of the specimen, and in your own garden. Cheers- Joan
Comment Written 22-Jul-2016
reply by the author on 22-Jul-2016
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At least this fellow he old still and posed for me. I was chasing a butterfly yesterday. Much harder, but got him. I'll post something about him one day soon.
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I look forward to your butterfly post--thanks for the sneak preview. Smiles- Joan
Comment from GracieAnn
Treischel,
I appreciate the cadence of the rhyming scheme and balance. It reads easily and makes good sense. It is not hampered by the confines of its structure. Word choices demonstrate close observation of this creature. Well done.
:0 GracieAnn
reply by the author on 22-Jul-2016
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Treischel,
I appreciate the cadence of the rhyming scheme and balance. It reads easily and makes good sense. It is not hampered by the confines of its structure. Word choices demonstrate close observation of this creature. Well done.
:0 GracieAnn
Comment Written 21-Jul-2016
reply by the author on 22-Jul-2016
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Thank you Gracie for your very astute assessment.
Comment from TAB_that's me
Excellent imagery and great alliteration too. Neat form that I had never seen. Thanks for the informational notes about the spider.
Teresa
reply by the author on 22-Jul-2016
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Excellent imagery and great alliteration too. Neat form that I had never seen. Thanks for the informational notes about the spider.
Teresa
Comment Written 21-Jul-2016
reply by the author on 22-Jul-2016
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Thank you Teresa. It was an enjoyable format to write. Although, I don't like spiders that much.
Comment from Challah1202
Excellent rhyme and meter. And mental image. And scientific truth. Enzymes and silk. It is a horror show in miniature but gracefully done. I've seen the silken threads on the fence or clothes line with the dew on it. It is magical. Your poem brought it back in a flash. Great job!
reply by the author on 21-Jul-2016
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Excellent rhyme and meter. And mental image. And scientific truth. Enzymes and silk. It is a horror show in miniature but gracefully done. I've seen the silken threads on the fence or clothes line with the dew on it. It is magical. Your poem brought it back in a flash. Great job!
Comment Written 21-Jul-2016
reply by the author on 21-Jul-2016
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Stank yo Very much Challah.
