Comment from Hayley Solomon

Exceptional

Brilliant - particularly like original use of Hodmandod for god rhyme Very in keeping using two ancient languages in juxtaposition with each other. Snail! I must remember that....:)

 Comment Written 27-Jul-2016

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reply by the author on 27-Jul-2016

Very many thanks for your lovely review and six stars, Hayley. Much appreciated! Tony

Comment from Alan K Pease

Excellent

You delve into oriental roots and the efforts of a Chinese God to maintain the fragrence, structure and character of his garden through the activities of your uncle. You mix well several cultures - Oriental, Australian, and Greek.

 Comment Written 25-Jul-2016

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reply by the author on 27-Jul-2016

Very many thanks, Alan. I have had to make some fairly major amendments to this to comply with the contest rules. Tony

Comment from Treischel

Excellent

A fascinating tale of a Chinese God of the Olive, written to Pantygynt's Awdl Gynt format, very expressive. I'm not sure the first four lines of the second Stanza properly carry the rhyme scheme because yang and sang seem wrong unless the "an" in each make it an acceptable slant line.

 Comment Written 24-Jul-2016

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reply by the author on 24-Jul-2016

Thanks, Tom! I was a bit hesitant about that as a rhyme, too - hoping that it was close enough to be accepted as a slant rhyme, bu not sure. At the moment, I can't see a way around it. Best wishes, Tony

Comment from jusylee72

Excellent

very nice poem beautifully illustrated in pictures and words. I think this form would be hard but you seem to have made it flow easily. I like your style and your message.

 Comment Written 23-Jul-2016

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reply by the author on 24-Jul-2016

Thanks, Lisa! It's an intricate form but interesting to write. Glad you enjoyed it! Best wishes, Tony

Comment from Irish Rain

Exceptional

I just so enjoyed this! I've never written one of these, but I love the sing-song quality of it, and the fascinating subject matter, and notes! Beautiful! Blessings....

 Comment Written 23-Jul-2016

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reply by the author on 24-Jul-2016

So glad you enjoyed it! It's an intricate form but interesting to write. Thank you very much for the accolade of six stars. Greatly appreciated! Best wishes, Tony

reply by Irish Rain on 24-Jul-2016

You are very welcome!

Comment from jlsavell

Excellent

tfawcus,
This is a beautiful work. Your poem filled with emotive and sensory appeal. Thank you for the author's notes for I wasn't sure what a Awd gynt is in poetic form but it works well for me. jlsavell

 Comment Written 23-Jul-2016

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reply by the author on 24-Jul-2016

So glad you enjoyed it, Jimi! It's an intricate form but interesting to write. Best wishes, Tony

Comment from Aqua2021

Excellent

This poem rhymed so nicely with its words! My favorite line was, " by winds that lift a sacred moan." Personification sewn into the poem worked very well. Thank you for sharing!

 Comment Written 23-Jul-2016

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reply by the author on 24-Jul-2016

So glad you enjoyed it, Aqua! It's an intricate form but interesting to write. Thank you too for picking out the part you liked best. Greatly appreciated! Best wishes, Tony

Comment from Lisa Deverick

Excellent

A 'soulfully' Beautiful poem. My favorite line is "Those secret paths now overgrown with humble plants he loved, self sown by winds..." life goes on... perhaps not in the orderly way we managed it once, but life goes on...

 Comment Written 23-Jul-2016

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reply by the author on 24-Jul-2016

So glad you enjoyed it, Lisa! It's an intricate form but interesting to write. Thank you for your kind words. Greatly appreciated! Best wishes, Tony

Comment from nancyrabbrose

Exceptional

First of all, the photograph you took is amazing. I was captured by it. A work of art in itself.
Now about your magnificent poem:
Wow, the scholarly work you did is awesome. The feelings and imagery are beautiful. In addition, I feel your reverence for the spirit of your subject.
Thank you for your work of art.

 Comment Written 23-Jul-2016

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reply by the author on 24-Jul-2016

So glad you enjoyed it, Nancy! It's an intricate form but interesting to write. Thank you very much for the accolade of six stars. Greatly appreciated! Best wishes, Tony

Comment from Eternal Muse

Exceptional

Tony, this is the work of a genius. I am totally humbled.

In a form that is so difficult we needed to create a color chart to make people get it, yours flows naturally and unforced, without any strain. A delight to read. Melodical and musical, a true balm for the ear.

Favorite lines:

Those secret paths now overgrown
with humble plants he loved, self-sown
by winds that lift a sacred moan.
Hong Shi enthrones his hill.

This will be hard to beat. You are a natural in Awdl Gynt (smile).

Amazing work.

 Comment Written 23-Jul-2016

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reply by the author on 24-Jul-2016

So glad you enjoyed it, Yelena! It's an intricate form but interesting to write. Thank you very much for the accolade of six stars. Greatly appreciated! I have made a few changes since you reviewed. Best wishes, Tony