The Prisoner
Held Hostage by Ghosts33 total reviews
Comment from brenda bickers
Hi Prettybluebirds,
I was so hooked on this story. A really great read. I like the way you paced the story and it flowed nicely with no bumps or stumbles. Would be interested in more of Grace's antics. She sounds like fun.
A really great read.
Brenda:))x
reply by the author on 12-Jul-2016
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Hi Prettybluebirds,
I was so hooked on this story. A really great read. I like the way you paced the story and it flowed nicely with no bumps or stumbles. Would be interested in more of Grace's antics. She sounds like fun.
A really great read.
Brenda:))x
Comment Written 12-Jul-2016
reply by the author on 12-Jul-2016
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Thank you. Maybe I will add some more about Grace if I can find the time today. I agree she needs to appear more.
Comment from Sandra Stoner-Mitchell
I think it happens too. What a lovely story, it was certainly different to all the others I've read. I liked the idea of the couple not leaving their home and only allowing one to stay there on the condition he did the renovations they wanted done. LOL, can you imagine a ghost laying down the law!! I really enjoyed your story, and wish you lots of luck in the contest. :) Sandra xxx
reply by the author on 12-Jul-2016
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I think it happens too. What a lovely story, it was certainly different to all the others I've read. I liked the idea of the couple not leaving their home and only allowing one to stay there on the condition he did the renovations they wanted done. LOL, can you imagine a ghost laying down the law!! I really enjoyed your story, and wish you lots of luck in the contest. :) Sandra xxx
Comment Written 12-Jul-2016
reply by the author on 12-Jul-2016
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Thank you. This story is a little bit true. There is a man living in my Aunt's house and he says she talks to him and won't let other people stay in the house. Who knows?
Comment from RPSaxena
Hello Prettybluebirds,
it's an interesting piece of Supernatural Fiction beautifully depicting its theme.
Wording is simple as well as impressive.
Smooth and captivating flow almost throughout, especially from Mary's going out to take groceries to downward up to the end.
Good Luck in the contest!
reply by the author on 12-Jul-2016
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Hello Prettybluebirds,
it's an interesting piece of Supernatural Fiction beautifully depicting its theme.
Wording is simple as well as impressive.
Smooth and captivating flow almost throughout, especially from Mary's going out to take groceries to downward up to the end.
Good Luck in the contest!
Comment Written 12-Jul-2016
reply by the author on 12-Jul-2016
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Thank you. So glad you enjoyed the story. It was fon to write.
Comment from Spitfire
You had me convinced this was real up until the end with the mention of kittens and the narrator letting his appearance go. I do believe in hauntings, for sure.
The ending is just as strong if not stronger than the beginning. That, my friend, is a skill.
reply by the author on 12-Jul-2016
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You had me convinced this was real up until the end with the mention of kittens and the narrator letting his appearance go. I do believe in hauntings, for sure.
The ending is just as strong if not stronger than the beginning. That, my friend, is a skill.
Comment Written 11-Jul-2016
reply by the author on 12-Jul-2016
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Thank you, my friend. I'm trying very hard to become a better writer, Reviewers like you are so much help and encouragement. I am starting a creative writing class. I don't care it I never make any money writing, I just love to do it. Thank you for the six stars. they are much appreciated.
Comment from davisr (Rhonda)
I love this story! It's such an incredible tale of a woman, Grace, who is happy enough to share a home with a living man. I like the way you took a true story and extended it to make quite a delightful tale.
Well done,
Rhonda
reply by the author on 12-Jul-2016
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I love this story! It's such an incredible tale of a woman, Grace, who is happy enough to share a home with a living man. I like the way you took a true story and extended it to make quite a delightful tale.
Well done,
Rhonda
Comment Written 11-Jul-2016
reply by the author on 12-Jul-2016
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Thank you. Yep, there really is a man who lives in my Aunt's home and claims to talk to her every day. I have stretched the truth a little to make a fictional story. Also, I changed the names of the real characters except for Grace.
Comment from JW
Your story is very well written and it easily hold's a reader's interesting.
Thank goodness the story is fiction - otherwise you would need to call:
Thanks for sharing this. JW
reply by the author on 12-Jul-2016
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Your story is very well written and it easily hold's a reader's interesting.
Thank goodness the story is fiction - otherwise you would need to call:
Thanks for sharing this. JW
Comment Written 11-Jul-2016
reply by the author on 12-Jul-2016
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Thank you for the great review and the cute video. It tickled my funny bone.
Comment from Ginger Banks
Excellent story telling, what an amazing story, if it wasn't marked for a contest, and fiction, I'd almost be inclined to believe your story 8o) . Thank you for sharing the full and complete story. I love your characters and the way you've portrayed each one, well thought through with a wonderful plot! Then, I'm plenty partial to the "Boo!" factor in movies and stories!
reply by the author on 11-Jul-2016
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Excellent story telling, what an amazing story, if it wasn't marked for a contest, and fiction, I'd almost be inclined to believe your story 8o) . Thank you for sharing the full and complete story. I love your characters and the way you've portrayed each one, well thought through with a wonderful plot! Then, I'm plenty partial to the "Boo!" factor in movies and stories!
Comment Written 11-Jul-2016
reply by the author on 11-Jul-2016
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Thank you. The story is partly true. Ther is a man who lives in my Aunt Grace's house and says he talks to her every day. He lives alone so I made up this story and used fictional names. Glad you enjoyed it.
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I did enjoy it. Taking true stories and changing them up a bit, adding a little of this and more of another, and I have a fictitious story. You're welcome.
Comment from Mabaker
Hi prettybluebirds, what a great story. There has to be more. I found it so believable and Grace seems a nice old lady protecting the thing she loved most in life and now in death. I saw something once. People say 'it must have been the ghost of a child that was burnt to death.' I don't know. I'd not heard the story before. And I did see something.
Very good indeed. Sincerely Anne
reply by the author on 11-Jul-2016
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Hi prettybluebirds, what a great story. There has to be more. I found it so believable and Grace seems a nice old lady protecting the thing she loved most in life and now in death. I saw something once. People say 'it must have been the ghost of a child that was burnt to death.' I don't know. I'd not heard the story before. And I did see something.
Very good indeed. Sincerely Anne
Comment Written 11-Jul-2016
reply by the author on 11-Jul-2016
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Thank you for your kind review and the six stars. This story is partly true because there is a man who lives in my Aunt Grace's house and claims she talks to him all the time. Who knows?
Comment from Corporal Rumjugs
Interesting story, especially the sudden change of the tone near the end of the story, that says that instead of the benevolent coexistence that seemed to be, what actually was, was a nightmarish situation from which the protagonist couldn't escape. Also noteworthy is your mention of the deep bond that exists between a person and the house they built. Really great story!
reply by the author on 11-Jul-2016
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Interesting story, especially the sudden change of the tone near the end of the story, that says that instead of the benevolent coexistence that seemed to be, what actually was, was a nightmarish situation from which the protagonist couldn't escape. Also noteworthy is your mention of the deep bond that exists between a person and the house they built. Really great story!
Comment Written 11-Jul-2016
reply by the author on 11-Jul-2016
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Thank you. You might find it interesting to know that this story is partly true. there really is a man living in my aunt's house and he swears she talks to him. He also feels like his is obligated to live there until he dies. The guy told me he tried to sell the house one time and my aunt got very upset. Who knows?
Comment from humpwhistle
Talking to a ghost is one thing. Getting a response is something else again.
I like your gentle story. I have a feeling it could be a bit longer. Recounting a few more 'incidents' might help you 'show' more and 'tell' less.
Perhaps it's just me, but the last paragraph feels a bit off. I know you mentioned he tried to leave, but felt tethered to the place. But I read that more 'voluntary' that coerced. He didn't seem like a tormented man to me. He seemed 'comfortable'. As I say, it's probably just me.
Best of luck with the Committee.
Peace, Lee
All the beams are hand-carved and the barn is held together by hand carved pegs -- I think you should choose between hand-carved, and hand carved. Personally, I'd go with the hyphen in both places. Or, I'd try to find a substitute for one of the hand-carves.
reply by the author on 11-Jul-2016
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Talking to a ghost is one thing. Getting a response is something else again.
I like your gentle story. I have a feeling it could be a bit longer. Recounting a few more 'incidents' might help you 'show' more and 'tell' less.
Perhaps it's just me, but the last paragraph feels a bit off. I know you mentioned he tried to leave, but felt tethered to the place. But I read that more 'voluntary' that coerced. He didn't seem like a tormented man to me. He seemed 'comfortable'. As I say, it's probably just me.
Best of luck with the Committee.
Peace, Lee
All the beams are hand-carved and the barn is held together by hand carved pegs -- I think you should choose between hand-carved, and hand carved. Personally, I'd go with the hyphen in both places. Or, I'd try to find a substitute for one of the hand-carves.
Comment Written 11-Jul-2016
reply by the author on 11-Jul-2016
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Thank you. I changed the hand carved pegs to wooden pegs. I edited this morning and changed a few things and added some names for the characters. I have so much to learn.
