Act of Endurance
Viewing comments for Chapter 30 "Play God"Dawn of Chaos
12 total reviews
Comment from Barbara Peabody Pouliot
Wonderfully written with much depth, I love how you switched the ending to positivity and hope. Just my opinion. That is a sign in our writing that we reaver truth and pain in order to heal and the lord intervenes to rise us and switch the word to a positive ending.
Write on gifted person, write on
Thank you for sharing
reply by the author on 16-Apr-2023
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Wonderfully written with much depth, I love how you switched the ending to positivity and hope. Just my opinion. That is a sign in our writing that we reaver truth and pain in order to heal and the lord intervenes to rise us and switch the word to a positive ending.
Write on gifted person, write on
Thank you for sharing
Comment Written 17-Nov-2022
reply by the author on 16-Apr-2023
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What a review, glad certain aspects were found appealing to your interests. Thanking you for your encouraging comments prevailing this read.
Comment from royowen
No one has the right to play God but God Homself, because He is absolute ruler over all things, there are the rules that He lays down, to keep a ship afloat, the only difference is we keep trying to sink the boat, beautifully written, blessings Roy
reply by the author on 16-Apr-2023
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No one has the right to play God but God Homself, because He is absolute ruler over all things, there are the rules that He lays down, to keep a ship afloat, the only difference is we keep trying to sink the boat, beautifully written, blessings Roy
Comment Written 17-Nov-2022
reply by the author on 16-Apr-2023
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These thoughts coming from you mean a lot, being a big fan of your writes. Thanking you for your kind response and very generous rate.
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Bless you
Comment from Nika2016
I think that if you change your writing for others you will lose your voice which is so unique. The reader's struggle is part of the journey to insight. I love these poems!
reply by the author on 04-Jun-2017
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I think that if you change your writing for others you will lose your voice which is so unique. The reader's struggle is part of the journey to insight. I love these poems!
Comment Written 17-May-2017
reply by the author on 04-Jun-2017
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Yeah, revisions are improving these writes. Thanks to all at FS. Thanking you for your generous rate and touching thoughts.
Comment from Kerry Foley Robinson
This is a terrific poem based on my impression was, slavery. It was very deep and well thought out. I enjoyed it. ~Kerry
reply by the author on 17-May-2017
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This is a terrific poem based on my impression was, slavery. It was very deep and well thought out. I enjoyed it. ~Kerry
Comment Written 16-May-2017
reply by the author on 17-May-2017
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A surprising conclusive remark by you, struggling with most my writes I will consider it a good step up. At least it seems like you can understand my muttered thoughts. Thanking you for your encouraging opinions, and generous given rate, plus appreciated views.
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Your very welcome, I don't understand the surprise:) it's a great write
Comment from KyColonel Randal
Thank you for sharing. I appreciate the notes at the bottom to help in understanding. This attitude of being above and superior to others is not just an affliction of kings. Weighty and worthy subject matter it is.
reply by the author on 17-May-2017
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Thank you for sharing. I appreciate the notes at the bottom to help in understanding. This attitude of being above and superior to others is not just an affliction of kings. Weighty and worthy subject matter it is.
Comment Written 16-May-2017
reply by the author on 17-May-2017
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We are all gods it is written in the Holy Text, being kings fall to our current situation and how we reign therein, we all endure these powers. Thanking you for your insights about this write, as well generous rate.
Comment from red6560
I thought this poem was well written. It was visual and I clearly understood how it told the story. The flow was not forced. It was an emotional poem. Can understand his fury and sense of helplessness. And especially the guilt.
Great job.
reply by the author on 07-May-2017
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I thought this poem was well written. It was visual and I clearly understood how it told the story. The flow was not forced. It was an emotional poem. Can understand his fury and sense of helplessness. And especially the guilt.
Great job.
Comment Written 04-May-2017
reply by the author on 07-May-2017
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Not many of my writes reach this level of achievement, hoping all things spoken by you have depth. Thanking you for your generous rate and welcomed remarks.
Comment from rosehill (Wendy)
I haven't reviewed your work before, but I read two of your pieces just now and have a hard time understanding the clipped wording, ungrammatical structure and abrupt change of direction you offer. I know that many poets say, "I just write for myself," and that is fine, but put it up on a web site for review and I hope you expect not only honesty, but for your voice to be heard. So, while I'm sure the piece makes perfect sense to you, the reader is left to ponder why the strange contortions of your words if the hope is to communicate. I did feel an emotive throbbing beneath the surface, notice the internal rhymes and enjoyed their use. I think you are working far too hard to compact the emotional and visual. Just my opinion though. - Wendy
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The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 07-May-2017
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I haven't reviewed your work before, but I read two of your pieces just now and have a hard time understanding the clipped wording, ungrammatical structure and abrupt change of direction you offer. I know that many poets say, "I just write for myself," and that is fine, but put it up on a web site for review and I hope you expect not only honesty, but for your voice to be heard. So, while I'm sure the piece makes perfect sense to you, the reader is left to ponder why the strange contortions of your words if the hope is to communicate. I did feel an emotive throbbing beneath the surface, notice the internal rhymes and enjoyed their use. I think you are working far too hard to compact the emotional and visual. Just my opinion though. - Wendy
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 04-May-2017
reply by the author on 07-May-2017
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No you're right, my writes does possess these flaws, trying to do a coherent piece. Yet, I thank you for your honesty and will pick up my efforts to improve, also generous rate and welcomed remarks.
Comment from Asem.inspirations
This poem is deep, almost too deep. I had to read it twice and then I felt the sorrow and sympathized with this writer. I felt his point in my heart.
I at voice bored see mother falling before me, saw whip strikes air core, a master in his big lore deny her plea.
Shame and its helplessness with guilt endured by me, my drip came tear to drop, framed I in enormous fury.
I felt the above lines the most and felt this Author's helplessness, that inability to help someone we love, but one's own mother and possibly that wish that this one had taken that beating instead. Well-written, good job...
reply by the author on 25-Apr-2017
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This poem is deep, almost too deep. I had to read it twice and then I felt the sorrow and sympathized with this writer. I felt his point in my heart.
I at voice bored see mother falling before me, saw whip strikes air core, a master in his big lore deny her plea.
Shame and its helplessness with guilt endured by me, my drip came tear to drop, framed I in enormous fury.
I felt the above lines the most and felt this Author's helplessness, that inability to help someone we love, but one's own mother and possibly that wish that this one had taken that beating instead. Well-written, good job...
Comment Written 25-Apr-2017
reply by the author on 25-Apr-2017
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Family, what can you say. It's like a game of black jack values exchange around the table. Thanking you for your generous rate and welcomed remarks.
Comment from Nikki-Nicole
'Play God' is an interesting read.
The wording is strong.
What a way to describe the ones who are 'high on a pedestal'.
Thanks for sharing.
Good luck with your future writing!
-Nicole-
reply by the author on 25-Apr-2017
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'Play God' is an interesting read.
The wording is strong.
What a way to describe the ones who are 'high on a pedestal'.
Thanks for sharing.
Good luck with your future writing!
-Nicole-
Comment Written 25-Apr-2017
reply by the author on 25-Apr-2017
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Thanking you for your comment about this write, and the generous rate.
Comment from A.A.A.EXHILARATING RIDE
I read feeling the shame and helplessness of a child watching his mother being abused, and felt the deep irony of that childhood rhyme `I'm the king of the castle and you're the dirty rascal', played out at every turn of human becoming through his-story. I can only wonder if this resonates with your creative talent and thoughts. Blessings, Maureen*&*
reply by the author on 15-Jul-2016
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I read feeling the shame and helplessness of a child watching his mother being abused, and felt the deep irony of that childhood rhyme `I'm the king of the castle and you're the dirty rascal', played out at every turn of human becoming through his-story. I can only wonder if this resonates with your creative talent and thoughts. Blessings, Maureen*&*
Comment Written 12-Jul-2016
reply by the author on 15-Jul-2016
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Long ago thought as most of my presented writes. Thanking you for generous rate and touching statements.
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Blessing of sharing, healing and joy, Maureen*&*
