Note in a Pot
We are all clay vessels.80 total reviews
Comment from rama devi
What a beautiful poem, my friend. Deeply stirring!
Favorite lines:
Perhaps hope trembles like a butterfly
on the bottom of Pandora's Box
I love the way this is both personal and universal. So sorry for your loss. Sending prayers and love!
I love how your mind waxed philosophical here:
As the wind swept his ashes earthward,
I thought, "We are all clay vessels.
Once shattered, our bodies return
to the clay from whence they came.
What remains?"
And also enjoyed the consonance of W ans S an alliteration of R
What a wonderful pairing of metaphor and simile:
Perhaps our souls rejoice,
like a jinni freed from a rubbed lamp.
Perhaps hope trembles like a butterfly
on the bottom of Pandora's Box
after the world's evils escaped.
Lovely closing note of love.
Wish I had a six. I am thrilled to see this won the contest. Kudos!
Love,
rd
reply by the author on 05-Aug-2016
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What a beautiful poem, my friend. Deeply stirring!
Favorite lines:
Perhaps hope trembles like a butterfly
on the bottom of Pandora's Box
I love the way this is both personal and universal. So sorry for your loss. Sending prayers and love!
I love how your mind waxed philosophical here:
As the wind swept his ashes earthward,
I thought, "We are all clay vessels.
Once shattered, our bodies return
to the clay from whence they came.
What remains?"
And also enjoyed the consonance of W ans S an alliteration of R
What a wonderful pairing of metaphor and simile:
Perhaps our souls rejoice,
like a jinni freed from a rubbed lamp.
Perhaps hope trembles like a butterfly
on the bottom of Pandora's Box
after the world's evils escaped.
Lovely closing note of love.
Wish I had a six. I am thrilled to see this won the contest. Kudos!
Love,
rd
Comment Written 04-Aug-2016
reply by the author on 05-Aug-2016
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Oh, thank you, Rama. Your review cheered me. I am thrilled that this won the contest, too. Thank you for your review.
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:-))
Comment from Judvan2
I also submitted for this contest. Once I read your poem, I realized how wonderful it is. The words are perfect, I love the genie freed from the lamp as a comparison of our souls. Its beautiful!! Good luck. Its my favorite.
reply by the author on 08-Jul-2016
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I also submitted for this contest. Once I read your poem, I realized how wonderful it is. The words are perfect, I love the genie freed from the lamp as a comparison of our souls. Its beautiful!! Good luck. Its my favorite.
Comment Written 08-Jul-2016
reply by the author on 08-Jul-2016
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Thank you, Judvan2, for your generous, six star review. I love my description of the soul. I wish you success in the contest, too.
Comment from chocoletdrop052
Upon the formation of clay are many signs of the way things evolved. Yes, we are vessels of this world, but the spirit within us does not belong here. When clay hardens, it turns to stones. The spirit has no flesh and bones, so the true nature is that the spirit goes back to where it belongs. The clay pot theory is used as an resurrection point in death. The note is a lasting testimony of one who lived and now is not. Amen
reply by the author on 08-Jul-2016
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Upon the formation of clay are many signs of the way things evolved. Yes, we are vessels of this world, but the spirit within us does not belong here. When clay hardens, it turns to stones. The spirit has no flesh and bones, so the true nature is that the spirit goes back to where it belongs. The clay pot theory is used as an resurrection point in death. The note is a lasting testimony of one who lived and now is not. Amen
Comment Written 08-Jul-2016
reply by the author on 08-Jul-2016
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Thank you, chocoletdrop052, for your generous, six star review. As the son of a potter, I contemplated my father's craft and what it means to all of us. I am thrilled that I was able to share his message with you. Thanks.
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YW, sharing your father's work is a great tribute and an honor to review.
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YW, sharing your father's work is a great tribute and an honor to review.
Comment from TPAC
Endearing thoughts filled with touching sentiments beholding to their loss: comments of inspirational expectations. A good ideal for write.
reply by the author on 08-Jul-2016
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Endearing thoughts filled with touching sentiments beholding to their loss: comments of inspirational expectations. A good ideal for write.
Comment Written 08-Jul-2016
reply by the author on 08-Jul-2016
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Thank you, TPAC, for your generous review of "a good idea for a write." I appreciate it.
Comment from judester
A thougthful observation. I think the message from your father in a clay pot is a beautiful reminder of his love. I enjoyed this, cheers, j
reply by the author on 06-Jul-2016
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A thougthful observation. I think the message from your father in a clay pot is a beautiful reminder of his love. I enjoyed this, cheers, j
Comment Written 05-Jul-2016
reply by the author on 06-Jul-2016
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Yes, J, whenever I miss my father, I dig his note out of his pot and read it. I am glad you enjoyed this poem. Thank you for your review.
Comment from ExperiencingLiphe
I love the ending and all the meaning that is put into this and the idea about the note in the jar. It is kind of crazy how the circle of life goes when someone passes on. It kind of puts things into perspective.
reply by the author on 06-Jul-2016
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I love the ending and all the meaning that is put into this and the idea about the note in the jar. It is kind of crazy how the circle of life goes when someone passes on. It kind of puts things into perspective.
Comment Written 05-Jul-2016
reply by the author on 06-Jul-2016
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Yes, ExperiencingLiphe, my father's note in a pot he gave me puts into perspective that "the circle of life goes when someone passes on." Thank you for your review.
Comment from Lisa Deverick
What an interesting concept this is! I like the concept of a note in a clay pot- how cool that your father gave you this sweet gift- and even cooler that you have it to use for your poem.
reply by the author on 06-Jul-2016
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What an interesting concept this is! I like the concept of a note in a clay pot- how cool that your father gave you this sweet gift- and even cooler that you have it to use for your poem.
Comment Written 05-Jul-2016
reply by the author on 06-Jul-2016
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Yes, Lisa, when I first saw this What is a Clay Vessel? contest I knew that I, the son of a potter, had to write something about my father and his pottery. I settled on the note in a pot which I cherish above all others. Thank you for your review.
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beautiful
Comment from An Awakened Heart
Nice story. I liked the flow and the message it sends. The imagery was wonderful and it had meaning.
Thank you for posting.
reply by the author on 06-Jul-2016
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Nice story. I liked the flow and the message it sends. The imagery was wonderful and it had meaning.
Thank you for posting.
Comment Written 05-Jul-2016
reply by the author on 06-Jul-2016
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Thank you, An Awakened Heart, for your review of my poem with a meaning and a message.
Comment from Bill O'Bier
A wonderful poem. The arrangement is creative and your words are expressive. Thanks for sharing this well composed piece. Good luck in the contest.
Wishing you all the best--
Bill
reply by the author on 06-Jul-2016
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A wonderful poem. The arrangement is creative and your words are expressive. Thanks for sharing this well composed piece. Good luck in the contest.
Wishing you all the best--
Bill
Comment Written 05-Jul-2016
reply by the author on 06-Jul-2016
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Thank you, Bill, for your review of my "well composed piece" and for wishing me success in the contest. I appreciate it.
Comment from TKField
I thought this was a very touching free-verse poem. Very metaphorical and symbolically significant. The clay analogy was effective in conveying the transient nature of mortality. Especially liked the stuff about the Jinn, etc. In fact, I wouldn't have minded seeing this end after the third stanza, as the last one sort of had a tacked on feel to it and had the kind of dime-store philosophy you might find in a fortune cookie, and was a little too pat. These things tend to be pretty subjective and doesn't take away from the overall excellence of the total poem.
reply by the author on 05-Jul-2016
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I thought this was a very touching free-verse poem. Very metaphorical and symbolically significant. The clay analogy was effective in conveying the transient nature of mortality. Especially liked the stuff about the Jinn, etc. In fact, I wouldn't have minded seeing this end after the third stanza, as the last one sort of had a tacked on feel to it and had the kind of dime-store philosophy you might find in a fortune cookie, and was a little too pat. These things tend to be pretty subjective and doesn't take away from the overall excellence of the total poem.
Comment Written 05-Jul-2016
reply by the author on 05-Jul-2016
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Yes, TKField, thank you for your review. The third stanza is many reviewers' favorite. The fourth stanza is tacked in the sense that it used to be near the beginning of what was once an eight stanza poem. I have dozens of pots which my father gave me, but the one into which he put his dime-store philosophy note is the pot I cherish the most and which inspired this poem. Thanks again.
