Little Poems
Viewing comments for Chapter 411 "White Wonder"Small and Specialty Poems
14 total reviews
Comment from I am Cat
Wow Tom,
yeah, I read Gynt's take on this meter, I have to admit, I wasn't a huge fan of it when he did it, but I AM a huge fan of Seuss, and so, when you mention him, I 'get' it... but how can it be taken too seriously when it's SO out there in the rhyme area? lol, you know? I guess I'm used to hearing made up words substituted, but I must admit, your take here is quite good.
I love the photograph and can see how it inspired you. That's for sure.
it has sort of a fun lilt and tilt to it, especially here:
With long beak for spearing
the morsels that show while you're peering
through waters for tidbits that flourish in shallows,
Like crayfish, or minnows, in wallows,
that bird feet are rearing
from hollows.
I just love that verse.
Well done, I think you've definitely got it mastered in this verse.
Cat
reply by the author on 05-Jul-2016
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Wow Tom,
yeah, I read Gynt's take on this meter, I have to admit, I wasn't a huge fan of it when he did it, but I AM a huge fan of Seuss, and so, when you mention him, I 'get' it... but how can it be taken too seriously when it's SO out there in the rhyme area? lol, you know? I guess I'm used to hearing made up words substituted, but I must admit, your take here is quite good.
I love the photograph and can see how it inspired you. That's for sure.
it has sort of a fun lilt and tilt to it, especially here:
With long beak for spearing
the morsels that show while you're peering
through waters for tidbits that flourish in shallows,
Like crayfish, or minnows, in wallows,
that bird feet are rearing
from hollows.
I just love that verse.
Well done, I think you've definitely got it mastered in this verse.
Cat
Comment Written 04-Jul-2016
reply by the author on 05-Jul-2016
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Hey Cat, thank you. This is a great review, so comprehensive, yet you. I am p,eased you liked it and the photograph. Maybe next time I get more funky with it.
Comment from Preston McWhorter
Hi, Treischel,
"The White Wonder" is another excellent poem with difficult rhyme and meter. It has good colorful figurative speech. " white avian king of the shoreline" is an excellent metaphor. It has good simple rhyme(lift off/trough). The rhyme scheme is consistently followed. The structure is unconventional.
Your friend and colleague,
Preston
reply by the author on 02-Jul-2016
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Hi, Treischel,
"The White Wonder" is another excellent poem with difficult rhyme and meter. It has good colorful figurative speech. " white avian king of the shoreline" is an excellent metaphor. It has good simple rhyme(lift off/trough). The rhyme scheme is consistently followed. The structure is unconventional.
Your friend and colleague,
Preston
Comment Written 02-Jul-2016
reply by the author on 02-Jul-2016
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Thank you Preston. Your detailed review is much appreciated.
Comment from robina1978
Your photo is beautiful and complements your poem perfectly. Thanks for explaining the meter. I had never heard of this one, even though I learned Latin and Greek. You describe in your poem how the Large Egret lifts off the lake. Well done.
reply by the author on 02-Jul-2016
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Your photo is beautiful and complements your poem perfectly. Thanks for explaining the meter. I had never heard of this one, even though I learned Latin and Greek. You describe in your poem how the Large Egret lifts off the lake. Well done.
Comment Written 02-Jul-2016
reply by the author on 02-Jul-2016
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Thank you Ine. I am very pleased that you liked it.
Comment from RodG
I can easily relate to the Speaker's admiration and awe regarding this "White Wonder" as an egret (I call him Edgar) inhabits a pond near me and acts just like this one. A very challenging format, but you make it look easy and I applaud your use of many poetic devices. Very nicely done. Rod
reply by the author on 02-Jul-2016
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I can easily relate to the Speaker's admiration and awe regarding this "White Wonder" as an egret (I call him Edgar) inhabits a pond near me and acts just like this one. A very challenging format, but you make it look easy and I applaud your use of many poetic devices. Very nicely done. Rod
Comment Written 02-Jul-2016
reply by the author on 02-Jul-2016
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Thank you Rod. I enjoyed your review and sharing Edgar. The stars are sweet topping on the cake.
Comment from Pantygynt
I have not heard of this meter before. I'm going to have to come to grips with it before long. Thanks for this so appropriately set in this meter that I would not have understood at all had it not been for your excellent notes.
reply by the author on 02-Jul-2016
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I have not heard of this meter before. I'm going to have to come to grips with it before long. Thanks for this so appropriately set in this meter that I would not have understood at all had it not been for your excellent notes.
Comment Written 02-Jul-2016
reply by the author on 02-Jul-2016
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Thank you Pantygynt. Leave it to Dr. Suess.
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I had a go yesterday. When I have built up my bank account I will post later in the week. It is a fun rhythm.
Comment from rod007
A great poem of the bird's flight, lifting to the heavens, wherever destiny beckons. But food is plentiful for such an agile creature where it can catch fish without the fisherman's reel, line and hook. Well done, Tom.
reply by the author on 02-Jul-2016
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A great poem of the bird's flight, lifting to the heavens, wherever destiny beckons. But food is plentiful for such an agile creature where it can catch fish without the fisherman's reel, line and hook. Well done, Tom.
Comment Written 02-Jul-2016
reply by the author on 02-Jul-2016
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Thank you Rod.
Comment from Joan E.
Wow--how smart of you to anticipate the take-off and how cool to see the egret starting its flight! Thank you for teaching us Amphibrach Meter too. I enjoyed your title, rhymes and the "king/hunter" metaphor. Keep being inspired, my friend! -Joan
reply by the author on 02-Jul-2016
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Wow--how smart of you to anticipate the take-off and how cool to see the egret starting its flight! Thank you for teaching us Amphibrach Meter too. I enjoyed your title, rhymes and the "king/hunter" metaphor. Keep being inspired, my friend! -Joan
Comment Written 02-Jul-2016
reply by the author on 02-Jul-2016
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Thank you Joan. I will.
Comment from Teri7
This is a very good and interesting poem you have penned. I really enjoyed the wording of the poem and the picture you took. I enjoyed reading and reviewing it. Teri
reply by the author on 02-Jul-2016
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This is a very good and interesting poem you have penned. I really enjoyed the wording of the poem and the picture you took. I enjoyed reading and reviewing it. Teri
Comment Written 01-Jul-2016
reply by the author on 02-Jul-2016
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Thank you Teri. I enjoyed your review.
Comment from foxangie123
I love your pictures and poems that go with. It is very creative and this is yet another prime example of your excellence and talent. More please.
reply by the author on 01-Jul-2016
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I love your pictures and poems that go with. It is very creative and this is yet another prime example of your excellence and talent. More please.
Comment Written 01-Jul-2016
reply by the author on 01-Jul-2016
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Thank you foxangie. How can I resist a fabulous request likrpe that.
Comment from Sandra Stoner-Mitchell
That was lucky, Tom, you caught the Egret just at the right time. And what a wonderful photo it is too. Your poem captures the scene beautifully, I can see it all in your word. And then we have your usual very informative authors notes. I wrote a poem about an Egret once, Evan the Egret, Timmy and Tommy mouse had to show him the way home after he had taken his first ever flight and got lost! LOL. Another excellent read, my friend. xsx Sandra.
reply by the author on 01-Jul-2016
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That was lucky, Tom, you caught the Egret just at the right time. And what a wonderful photo it is too. Your poem captures the scene beautifully, I can see it all in your word. And then we have your usual very informative authors notes. I wrote a poem about an Egret once, Evan the Egret, Timmy and Tommy mouse had to show him the way home after he had taken his first ever flight and got lost! LOL. Another excellent read, my friend. xsx Sandra.
Comment Written 01-Jul-2016
reply by the author on 01-Jul-2016
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Thank you Sandra. They are large, amazing birds. I bet you gave yours a perfect personality,
