Little Poems
Viewing comments for Chapter 410 "Sing, Song Sparrow!"Small and Specialty Poems
16 total reviews
Comment from Preston McWhorter
Hi, Treischel,
"Sing, Song Sparrow" is a excellent poem with good figurative language. The repeating alliterative lines work. The poem flows well and the rhyme scheme is follow well. The rhyme is simple and good.
Your friend and colleague,
Prestoh
reply by the author on 02-Jul-2016
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Hi, Treischel,
"Sing, Song Sparrow" is a excellent poem with good figurative language. The repeating alliterative lines work. The poem flows well and the rhyme scheme is follow well. The rhyme is simple and good.
Your friend and colleague,
Prestoh
Comment Written 02-Jul-2016
reply by the author on 02-Jul-2016
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Thank you once more Preston for your discernment,
Comment from rod007
You celebrated the great musicians of this world, the birds. Their songs are tweets of sweet melody indeed. If we had swans as well dancing to the tweet, we could have a ballet of nature's music. Well done, Tom.
reply by the author on 02-Jul-2016
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You celebrated the great musicians of this world, the birds. Their songs are tweets of sweet melody indeed. If we had swans as well dancing to the tweet, we could have a ballet of nature's music. Well done, Tom.
Comment Written 02-Jul-2016
reply by the author on 02-Jul-2016
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Thank you Rod, that would be an awesome scene.
Comment from ciliverde
Of course you had to write about him! You certainly captured that moment, beautifully, when you stood and listened to his song. I've had those moments too, when I'm stopped in my tracks by a beautiful bird song. Indeed, they are the most natural and skilled music teachers!
Carol
reply by the author on 01-Jul-2016
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Of course you had to write about him! You certainly captured that moment, beautifully, when you stood and listened to his song. I've had those moments too, when I'm stopped in my tracks by a beautiful bird song. Indeed, they are the most natural and skilled music teachers!
Carol
Comment Written 01-Jul-2016
reply by the author on 01-Jul-2016
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Thank you Carol. Yes they certainly are.
Comment from Shirley E Kennedy
A lovely very sweet poem.
I also am fascinated by the beauty and talent to be found in nature.
You have expounded the bounty of the song sparrow quite well.
Great use of mixed meter and I quite liked the refrain.
:-) Shirley
reply by the author on 01-Jul-2016
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A lovely very sweet poem.
I also am fascinated by the beauty and talent to be found in nature.
You have expounded the bounty of the song sparrow quite well.
Great use of mixed meter and I quite liked the refrain.
:-) Shirley
Comment Written 01-Jul-2016
reply by the author on 01-Jul-2016
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Thank you Shirley. Yes, that Spondee is a fun meter, but I don't think I'd like to write a whole poem in it.
Comment from Joan E.
Thank you for sharing the sparrow's serenade and his picture. Your poem seems to mimic his song with its repeats and varying meter. I enjoyed your rhymes and the "music teacher" metaphor. Cheers- Joan
reply by the author on 30-Jun-2016
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Thank you for sharing the sparrow's serenade and his picture. Your poem seems to mimic his song with its repeats and varying meter. I enjoyed your rhymes and the "music teacher" metaphor. Cheers- Joan
Comment Written 30-Jun-2016
reply by the author on 30-Jun-2016
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Thank you Joan. It's great that you liked it. I'm smiling.
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We're both smiling! -Joan
Comment from LIJ Red
The only birds that would enter the courtyard at the nursing home were
little "street sparrow" guys with big mouths and complex note sequences. My mom loved to be wheelchaired out to hear them among the hedges.
Long ago. Excellent poem.
reply by the author on 30-Jun-2016
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The only birds that would enter the courtyard at the nursing home were
little "street sparrow" guys with big mouths and complex note sequences. My mom loved to be wheelchaired out to hear them among the hedges.
Long ago. Excellent poem.
Comment Written 30-Jun-2016
reply by the author on 30-Jun-2016
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Thank you Lij Red.
Comment from Sandra Stoner-Mitchell
Oh, I loved the poem, Tom, it could be put to music as the words were like a song. There is nothing nicer than listening to a bird singing away on a quiet still day. Your author's notes told another story of this sweet bird, and it was lovely to read, I could see the bird turning his back on you saying, that's it, off you go. LOL. Was this little bird in your photo, the one you wrote about? Another lovely photo and poem set for your collection, Tom. Well done, my friend. :) Sandra x
reply by the author on 30-Jun-2016
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Oh, I loved the poem, Tom, it could be put to music as the words were like a song. There is nothing nicer than listening to a bird singing away on a quiet still day. Your author's notes told another story of this sweet bird, and it was lovely to read, I could see the bird turning his back on you saying, that's it, off you go. LOL. Was this little bird in your photo, the one you wrote about? Another lovely photo and poem set for your collection, Tom. Well done, my friend. :) Sandra x
Comment Written 30-Jun-2016
reply by the author on 30-Jun-2016
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Thank you Sandra. Yes, the sane one. In fact I have a picture of him with his back turned too.
Comment from Just2Write
Awww... This is lovely, and I feel that way each time I sit in my tiny garden. The LBJ's (Little Brown Jobs) that visit my feeder and my fountain always bring a song to show their appreciation. Perhaps I'll read them your poem today. I think they will like it as much as I do.
Rose.
reply by the author on 30-Jun-2016
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Awww... This is lovely, and I feel that way each time I sit in my tiny garden. The LBJ's (Little Brown Jobs) that visit my feeder and my fountain always bring a song to show their appreciation. Perhaps I'll read them your poem today. I think they will like it as much as I do.
Rose.
Comment Written 30-Jun-2016
reply by the author on 30-Jun-2016
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Thank you Rose. Sweet! I'd like that.
Comment from Jannypan (Jan)
I enjoyed your poem. The picture is awesome. I like the repeated lines. They add to the flow & are fun to read. Good job with the rhyme, too. You did a great job conveying to readers how the little bird made you feel & how it might feel itself.
The format as explained in your notes seems difficult. However, it all makes sense to see it in words of the poem.
Good job and thanks for sharing. Jan
reply by the author on 30-Jun-2016
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I enjoyed your poem. The picture is awesome. I like the repeated lines. They add to the flow & are fun to read. Good job with the rhyme, too. You did a great job conveying to readers how the little bird made you feel & how it might feel itself.
The format as explained in your notes seems difficult. However, it all makes sense to see it in words of the poem.
Good job and thanks for sharing. Jan
Comment Written 30-Jun-2016
reply by the author on 30-Jun-2016
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Thank you Jan. I appreciate your comments.
Comment from Marie Henry
*Guild a sunny day - should be gild a sunny day*?
This is a lovely joyous poem that could be a traditional style of song. The rhythm is gentle and light and the content happy and uplifting.
reply by the author on 30-Jun-2016
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*Guild a sunny day - should be gild a sunny day*?
This is a lovely joyous poem that could be a traditional style of song. The rhythm is gentle and light and the content happy and uplifting.
Comment Written 30-Jun-2016
reply by the author on 30-Jun-2016
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Thank you Marie, and yes it should be gild. It fix it. I appreciate that catch,
