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Viewing comments for Chapter 23 "Tiger One, Ted Zero"
Shorter stories

15 total reviews 
Comment from Sandra Stoner-Mitchell
Excellent
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You are so good at these, I'd need a dictionary by me all the time. I love that the story was all in T until the last sentence, and you then change to J. Well done, I'll be trying this one, too!! I read some of your other reviews, I think the last one missed the point. Lol. I'm not going to be a lion tamer, either! :)) Sandra xx

 Comment Written 06-May-2022


reply by the author on 06-May-2022
    I?m happy with this one as it is grammatically correct without squinting my eyes for allowance.
Comment from Lynn27
Good
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I like the story idea.

For a short story this moves way to fast. I know these short story can be difficult to write. Just focus one one event when your character faces the tiger.


Also, changed the font color to hard to read.


Lynn

 Comment Written 29-Jun-2016


reply by the author on 29-Jun-2016
    Thank you, Lynn, for the helpful review. Bill
reply by Lynn27 on 29-Jun-2016
    You're welcome.

    Keep writing that's how we improve.
Comment from Ginger Banks
Excellent
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An infinite tongue twister for a poem if I ever heard one! What a funny fun poem, the tiger in the picture look like he tried to read it aloud and got lost, ha! Thank you for sharing.

 Comment Written 28-Jun-2016


reply by the author on 28-Jun-2016
    Thank you, Ginger, for the excellent review. Bill
reply by Ginger Banks on 28-Jun-2016
    You're welcome.
Comment from Teri7
Excellent
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This is a very interesting story you have penned. I don't think I want to be a tiger trainer. lol You used very good wording and imagery too. Teri

 Comment Written 27-Jun-2016


reply by the author on 27-Jun-2016
    Thank you, Teri, for the great review. Bill
Comment from frogbook
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

Dare I say I noticed a bit of alliteration here-haha. A tantalizing tale told terribly well. A jaunt through t's later joined by a jolly jovial letter that I, JoAnn approved of. Well done!

 Comment Written 27-Jun-2016


reply by the author on 27-Jun-2016
    Wow! Thank you, JoAnn, for the grand review. I had a lot of T's in my alphabet soup. Bill
Comment from Corporal Rumjugs
Good
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

First of all, hilarious little story! The sing-song quality of the story suits the premise selected quite nicely, but, on a whole, the story seems more like a free verse poem than a short story. But I understand that the word limit placed constraints on the expression and frankly, the story is a wonderful little light hearted entertainer with it's alliterations and colourful prose. My only complaint is that it feels more like a poem than a short story, but that is simply a matter of perspective, I guess.

This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.

 Comment Written 27-Jun-2016


reply by the author on 27-Jun-2016
    My wife beat me up in a similar fashion about this one. She liked it for what it was, but saw no plot. I attempted for a while to point one out, but was unconvincing. Thank you for your kind and honest review. Bill
Comment from TAB_that's me
Excellent
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my tongue is all tied in knots and I'm spitting everywhere:) This is a unique flash fiction piece. Always fun to read you.

teresa

 Comment Written 26-Jun-2016


reply by the author on 26-Jun-2016
    Thank you, Teresa, for the great review. Bill
Comment from nomi338
Excellent
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Sad stories sure sound silly when written with wry words.
This tale truly tries to tell the timely torturous travails of Tom taking too tough am assignment..

 Comment Written 26-Jun-2016


reply by the author on 26-Jun-2016
    Thank you, nomi, for the truly tasteful and tolerant tallying of this try. Till
Comment from krys123
Excellent
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Hello Bill;
-a very totally tongue twisting theoretical story written in a poem of Ted's learning to be a tiger trainer. Along with your many alliteration throughout of the letter T was very convincingly and cacophonously carried out.
-Also I found the story of this poem very humorous with a twist on the vernacular
and of a lawyer's position.
-Thanks for sharing and posting and may the good Lord be with you always my friend.
Alex

 Comment Written 26-Jun-2016


reply by the author on 26-Jun-2016
    Thank you, Alex, for the excellent review. Bill
Comment from damommy
Excellent
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What a tongue twister. Try reading that fast. Great!

This is so creative and to come up with so many "t" words. The last line was a total surprise, changing to "j."

Good job. You should have saved this for a contest. 8-)

 Comment Written 26-Jun-2016


reply by the author on 26-Jun-2016
    Thank you, da, for the excellent review. Bill