Reviews from

A Strange Dream

A plea for brotherhood for all humanity

42 total reviews 
Comment from Autumn Splendour
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Your poem does leave me disturbed. If as you said, we have a desperate need for one faith and one God (I presume you are referring to the Christian God), then why did God let in a Muslim, Hindu and Jew who are all non believers of the Christian God ?

Also, if your plea is for brotherhood of all humanity, what is God's role in this?

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 Comment Written 24-Jun-2016


reply by the author on 24-Jun-2016
    Thank you .I meant in our native American Indian culture they found their Gods in various aspects of nature
Comment from Lisa Deverick
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Great rhythm and rhyme used in your lines. Your message is a powerful one leaving an important question for the reader. If we know God we will be with Him at our last breath. (I have experienced this already)

 Comment Written 23-Jun-2016


reply by the author on 24-Jun-2016
    Thank you dear friend for your great comment
Comment from fionageorge
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Surely, if there is a god, Jay, then there can only be one god. I liked your dream. As I think I have told you before? I am an atheist. But, if there is a god, then, as I said, there can only be one, not Hindu, not Islam, not Christian, nor anything else, so what is all the fighting for? Great poem, with good thought-provoking message. Thanks for sharing and warmest regards, Marijke :o)

 Comment Written 23-Jun-2016


reply by the author on 23-Jun-2016
    I have longed to visit your fair country for years,but at 91 will never get to.Thank you so much for all your support
Comment from Sandra du Plessis
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Each religion beliefs their God is the only God. But when you go look each religion serves God in different ways. All I know is that God is love and forgiveness. Definitely not unforgiving and hateful.

 Comment Written 23-Jun-2016


reply by the author on 23-Jun-2016
    I am so thankful for inspiring comments
Comment from Domino 2
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Minor typo - double comma end of 2nd line.

With respect, I tripped on the meter in several lines, and there also seems a mixture of iambic and anapaestic which didn't help me, but hey-ho, I'm sure I'm in the minority. :-)

I'm an agnostic, but I can still relate to your notes, as I HOPE rather than being certain, as sometimes in:

'Never knowing, only hoping
to be favored (? 'favoured') in Gods sight'

Very entertaining read.

Best wishes, Ray.


 Comment Written 23-Jun-2016


reply by the author on 23-Jun-2016
    Thank you friend. I shall correct those typo errors
Comment from heyjude
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Jay, what a dream. God wants everyone to be saved. I'm glad that He's the judge because He loves us. Good.luck in the contest

 Comment Written 22-Jun-2016


reply by the author on 23-Jun-2016
    I thank you for all of your support-I really appreciate it
Comment from foxangie123
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A most splendid entry to the contest and it asks some most valuable questions. It truly gets the mind thinking about living after our name is called. None of us are worthy indeed. You have a winner here in my book.

 Comment Written 22-Jun-2016


reply by the author on 23-Jun-2016
    Thank you Foxy, you are a sweetheart
Comment from Joy Graham
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You certainly had an inteesting dream. A subject that caught my attention and interest. I like that your dream showed multi-ethnic people entering the gates of Heaven.

Nice abcb rhyme scheme.

I'm not too sure of your meter.

All in all a nice dream poem.


 Comment Written 22-Jun-2016


reply by the author on 22-Jun-2016
    Thank you Joy.I am inspired by your coomments
Comment from kiwisteveh
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Hi, and welcome to FanStory! If experience means anything, you should be near the top of the class.

I enjoyed your little poem written in pleasant, rhyming quatrains. We all wonder about that after death experience if we believe in the after-life. Your poem poses the question of what matters most in the eyes of God - the religion you follow, or the actual way you've lived your life.

It reminds me a little of Leigh Hunt's famour poem. I reproduce it here in case you are not familiar with it...

Abou Ben Adhem

Abou Ben Adhem (may his tribe increase!)
Awoke one night from a deep dream of peace,
And saw, within the moonlight in his room,
Making it rich, and like a lily in bloom,
An angel writing in a book of gold:?
Exceeding peace had made Ben Adhem bold,
And to the presence in the room he said,
"What writest thou?"?The vision raised its head,
And with a look made of all sweet accord,
Answered, "The names of those who love the Lord."
"And is mine one?" said Abou. "Nay, not so,"
Replied the angel. Abou spoke more low,
But cheerly still; and said, "I pray thee, then,
Write me as one that loves his fellow men."

The angel wrote, and vanished. The next night
It came again with a great wakening light,
And showed the names whom love of God had blest,
And lo! Ben Adhem's name led all the rest.

I have a small query about whether your poem is really about God and Nature. Nature gets a small mention, but perhaps it is human nature tht is most important.

One small fix: natures --> nature's

Steve

 Comment Written 22-Jun-2016


reply by the author on 22-Jun-2016
    Thank you friend.I fixed the nature word.I am familiar with that great poem
Comment from tfawcus
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What a truly relevant poem this is in these troubled times. The core tenets of all the world's major religions are so similar that one would think it a small step to unite in peaceful coexistence. In truth, there is remarkable consistency in mankind's differing interpretations of God. The schisms are man made and our tragic fatal flaw.

 Comment Written 22-Jun-2016


reply by the author on 22-Jun-2016
    A comment from you is very meaningfull. I truly appreciated it