The Ring
a narrative poem about a ring lost & found24 total reviews
Comment from Dean Kuch
This is exceptional, Mystery Author, and there are far too many things for me to point out concerning what I liked specifically about it. If I were to do do, I would be here all day.
Suffice it to say that this is one of the best lengthy poems I have read here on FanStory's hallowed pages in my three years here as a paying member.
As for the contest, no luck will be needed on your behalf. But I sure do pity those who are going up against you.
Well done, perfection...
~Dean
reply by the author on 24-Jun-2016
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This is exceptional, Mystery Author, and there are far too many things for me to point out concerning what I liked specifically about it. If I were to do do, I would be here all day.
Suffice it to say that this is one of the best lengthy poems I have read here on FanStory's hallowed pages in my three years here as a paying member.
As for the contest, no luck will be needed on your behalf. But I sure do pity those who are going up against you.
Well done, perfection...
~Dean
Comment Written 24-Jun-2016
reply by the author on 24-Jun-2016
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Thank you, Dean, for this wonderful review, all the kudos and acclaim. It was fun to write.
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I would imagine it was.
You're very welcome.
~Dean
Comment from Susanne M. Psyris
This is such an awesome story/poem and I thoroughly enjoyed reading it very much. However, the contest calls for an actual story - no poem, I believe. I hope yours won't be disqualified since it is a poem. The story is a very sad and moving piece and the flow, rhythm, rhyme and imagery are all there spot on to make for a great read. If I had six stars left, they would be yours for this excellent work. Good luck in the contest. God bless and hugs, Susanne
reply by the author on 24-Jun-2016
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This is such an awesome story/poem and I thoroughly enjoyed reading it very much. However, the contest calls for an actual story - no poem, I believe. I hope yours won't be disqualified since it is a poem. The story is a very sad and moving piece and the flow, rhythm, rhyme and imagery are all there spot on to make for a great read. If I had six stars left, they would be yours for this excellent work. Good luck in the contest. God bless and hugs, Susanne
Comment Written 24-Jun-2016
reply by the author on 24-Jun-2016
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Thank you so much, Susanne, for your wonderful review and concern. The prompt merely says "fiction," and nothing about "prose." The story I told is totally fiction. Again, many thanks.
Comment from Pantygynt
Written in story rhyme abcb in quatrains of iambic tetrameter, this is a great tale of the magic of an old Irish saying come true. Somewhere North of Bewdley, on the Worcestershire, Shropshire border is a field of kale (at least that is what grew there in 1983. There's a gold ring in there somewhere unless someone has already found it and is getting all the good luck it can bring. How do I know? I chucked it in there thirty three years ago.
reply by the author on 24-Jun-2016
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Written in story rhyme abcb in quatrains of iambic tetrameter, this is a great tale of the magic of an old Irish saying come true. Somewhere North of Bewdley, on the Worcestershire, Shropshire border is a field of kale (at least that is what grew there in 1983. There's a gold ring in there somewhere unless someone has already found it and is getting all the good luck it can bring. How do I know? I chucked it in there thirty three years ago.
Comment Written 24-Jun-2016
reply by the author on 24-Jun-2016
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It rule appreciate your kind praise and was pleasantly surprised by your own anecdote. I suppose such traditions are more universal than I had thought. Thanks so much for sharing.
Comment from Barb Hensongispsaca
What an excellent story in a poem that took us along for quite a ride.
Half way through, I thought maybe the two would meet, but you took us down another road.
Flow was excellent and the story line perfect
reply by the author on 24-Jun-2016
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What an excellent story in a poem that took us along for quite a ride.
Half way through, I thought maybe the two would meet, but you took us down another road.
Flow was excellent and the story line perfect
Comment Written 24-Jun-2016
reply by the author on 24-Jun-2016
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Thank you, Barb, for your very kind response to "Ring."
Comment from c_lucas
No one came out of Viet Nam unscarred. This is very well written with a smooth flow of words, making for a very good read. There is very good imagery.
reply by the author on 23-Jun-2016
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No one came out of Viet Nam unscarred. This is very well written with a smooth flow of words, making for a very good read. There is very good imagery.
Comment Written 23-Jun-2016
reply by the author on 23-Jun-2016
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Indeed, what you say about these soldiers is true, and sadly most of us did not know that for years. Thank you for sharing and your kind praise.
Comment from heyjude
Mystery author, a very imaginative poem for the Found It
writing prompt. That is sad that so many rings were tossed
away by that bridge. Very good rhyming quatrains.
reply by the author on 23-Jun-2016
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Mystery author, a very imaginative poem for the Found It
writing prompt. That is sad that so many rings were tossed
away by that bridge. Very good rhyming quatrains.
Comment Written 23-Jun-2016
reply by the author on 23-Jun-2016
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I often wondered how many rings were tossed. Nobody I know in Reno kept a record. Thank you for sharing and your kind praise.
Comment from LIJ Red
It's posted as a poem, and I suppose if the prompt does not flatly demand prose fiction, it'll fly. I don't have to play judge, and I like the yarn, Fivers.
reply by the author on 23-Jun-2016
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It's posted as a poem, and I suppose if the prompt does not flatly demand prose fiction, it'll fly. I don't have to play judge, and I like the yarn, Fivers.
Comment Written 23-Jun-2016
reply by the author on 23-Jun-2016
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True, the prompt does not specify "prose" fiction. I am delighted you like yarn.
Comment from Marie Henry
This poem is actually a story of the ring - from when it started as a bad luck omen for the divorcee to the luck it brought the kind man Jack. The verse's carry us along, entranced by the story and wanting to know what happens next. Well thought out and written - although it is quite long, I actually feel I wanted to know more detail which demonstrates to m how well the story is told
reply by the author on 23-Jun-2016
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This poem is actually a story of the ring - from when it started as a bad luck omen for the divorcee to the luck it brought the kind man Jack. The verse's carry us along, entranced by the story and wanting to know what happens next. Well thought out and written - although it is quite long, I actually feel I wanted to know more detail which demonstrates to m how well the story is told
Comment Written 23-Jun-2016
reply by the author on 23-Jun-2016
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Thank you very much, Marie, for this lovely review. I had planned to tell this as a short story, but the 2000 word maximum would not be enough to allow for the details you mentioned. So pleased you want more.
Comment from Lisa Deverick
As I was reading your interesting story poem, I could not help to notice the great rhythm of your lines. A good entry for the contest. Well done.
reply by the author on 23-Jun-2016
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As I was reading your interesting story poem, I could not help to notice the great rhythm of your lines. A good entry for the contest. Well done.
Comment Written 23-Jun-2016
reply by the author on 23-Jun-2016
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I am delighted you enjoyed my poem, Lisa. Thanks for sharing.
Comment from barkingdog
Brilliantly penned tale of a gold band's history.
Fine rhyming quatrains move this story along with a fine even rhythm.
I like how you took the Irish good luck myth and combined it with the Las Vegas tradition of tossing the wedding ring over the Virginia St. Bridge.
Good luck in the contest.
:) e
reply by the author on 23-Jun-2016
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Brilliantly penned tale of a gold band's history.
Fine rhyming quatrains move this story along with a fine even rhythm.
I like how you took the Irish good luck myth and combined it with the Las Vegas tradition of tossing the wedding ring over the Virginia St. Bridge.
Good luck in the contest.
:) e
Comment Written 23-Jun-2016
reply by the author on 23-Jun-2016
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And you for your very kind praise. So pleased you like my combo, but never say "Vegas" to a Renoite." Those are fightin' words!
