Put Out
three stanzas in 5-5-5-214 total reviews
Comment from melanciaa
Um...I liked the fact that you made us think there would be a gunshot or attempted suicide but then you switched it up. It makes you think that the smoking was the reason for the cancer or at least a catalyst. I thought it was too short and there could have been more to really make it griping and interesting. I am more intrigued by what wasn't included than what was actually said.
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reply by the author on 17-Jun-2016
Um...I liked the fact that you made us think there would be a gunshot or attempted suicide but then you switched it up. It makes you think that the smoking was the reason for the cancer or at least a catalyst. I thought it was too short and there could have been more to really make it griping and interesting. I am more intrigued by what wasn't included than what was actually said.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 17-Jun-2016
reply by the author on 17-Jun-2016
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Thank you for the honest review. The format follows contest requirements.
Comment from chcbeck
A great contest entry. Really powerful poem with a real hard hitting message. I like the way your text is shaded as it represents smoke and the cigarette being put out. Good luck with the contest.
reply by the author on 17-Jun-2016
A great contest entry. Really powerful poem with a real hard hitting message. I like the way your text is shaded as it represents smoke and the cigarette being put out. Good luck with the contest.
Comment Written 17-Jun-2016
reply by the author on 17-Jun-2016
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Thank you for the encouraging review.
Comment from Spider39
Deep. The poem expresses the despair and sheer hopelessness of a smoker who can't quit their addiction. Cancer is the result, which will eventually lead to death, but only slower than if he or she were to put a gun to their head and pull the trigger. The imagery is very vivid, very dark. Reflection is usually what happens when a poem is delivered in this way. A powerful statement is given at the end. A person's life is snuffed out by their own hand. Hope this interpretation is close to what you were feeling. If it isn't, it just goes to show you how we process things differently. Thanks for this contribution!!
reply by the author on 17-Jun-2016
Deep. The poem expresses the despair and sheer hopelessness of a smoker who can't quit their addiction. Cancer is the result, which will eventually lead to death, but only slower than if he or she were to put a gun to their head and pull the trigger. The imagery is very vivid, very dark. Reflection is usually what happens when a poem is delivered in this way. A powerful statement is given at the end. A person's life is snuffed out by their own hand. Hope this interpretation is close to what you were feeling. If it isn't, it just goes to show you how we process things differently. Thanks for this contribution!!
Comment Written 17-Jun-2016
reply by the author on 17-Jun-2016
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Thank you, Spider, for the thorough review. Was the fading text noticeable?
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Yes, I noticed it. It's small things like that that set the mood for the read.
Comment from William Ross
Very nice, struggling with cancer and the fight to try and quit smoking knowing each cigarette is like playing Russian roulette. good luck on this and have a great day
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reply by the author on 17-Jun-2016
Very nice, struggling with cancer and the fight to try and quit smoking knowing each cigarette is like playing Russian roulette. good luck on this and have a great day
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Comment Written 17-Jun-2016
reply by the author on 17-Jun-2016
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Thank you, William, for the kind review.