The Story of My Thoughts Spilling
Poetry Potlatch Practice-Walt Whitman Style18 total reviews
Comment from country ranch writer
people sit wide eyed watch the death of a zebra taken down by the lion. It is hard to believe these massive animals turn on one another other stuff remains to digest as I write this so it will show up sooner or later in my writing Mikey
reply by the author on 15-Jun-2016
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people sit wide eyed watch the death of a zebra taken down by the lion. It is hard to believe these massive animals turn on one another other stuff remains to digest as I write this so it will show up sooner or later in my writing Mikey
Comment Written 10-Jun-2016
reply by the author on 15-Jun-2016
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Thanks a million, my friend. Always great to hear from you. Sorry to be so slooooow. mikey
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SOMETIMES SLOOOOOOOOOOOOOOW IS BETTER HAHA
Comment from Gloria ....
Just an amazing poem that takes a glass of wine, soft music and a slow read to fully enjoy. It's one of your best if not your best ever.
Just a couple of comments:
and serene horizon seeking serenity. I suggest changing one of those words, or even just eliminating one.
Some incredibly genius wording in here Mav
or sideways glance
that triggers pride
and destroys love
That is most profound statement as love can be destroyed as such.
So true, from nothing we come and to nothing we return or is it something as I believe Earth was created from something not nothing.
HAHA. Love the question give the names of all eight billion people who have lived. I don't suppose God could do that without some help.
This is an epic poem, Mav. I loved every word of it, and will be reading it again and again to savour its fullness.
This is a strong contender in the story in a poem contest. I'd love to see this win. :))
Ange
reply by the author on 15-Jun-2016
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Just an amazing poem that takes a glass of wine, soft music and a slow read to fully enjoy. It's one of your best if not your best ever.
Just a couple of comments:
and serene horizon seeking serenity. I suggest changing one of those words, or even just eliminating one.
Some incredibly genius wording in here Mav
or sideways glance
that triggers pride
and destroys love
That is most profound statement as love can be destroyed as such.
So true, from nothing we come and to nothing we return or is it something as I believe Earth was created from something not nothing.
HAHA. Love the question give the names of all eight billion people who have lived. I don't suppose God could do that without some help.
This is an epic poem, Mav. I loved every word of it, and will be reading it again and again to savour its fullness.
This is a strong contender in the story in a poem contest. I'd love to see this win. :))
Ange
Comment Written 09-Jun-2016
reply by the author on 15-Jun-2016
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Jeesh, Angel. I can't believe I'm so behind as to just now be getting to this wonderful review. I'm still smiling all these days later. Yes, SOMETHING, I agree, Earth was certainly created from something. I suppose you're right about serene and serenity. Every time I try one of those "clever" turns no one likes it. LOL Maybe it isn't clever
I doubt the powers that be will like this, but I'm delighted that you do. Thanks so much,
Maverick
Comment from Sandra du Plessis
Goodness gracious it is nearly as long as a novel. Lol. A great story told in a free verse poem. I think I should tear up my attempt. It is the silliest thing I ever wrote the past year. Lol.
reply by the author on 15-Jun-2016
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Goodness gracious it is nearly as long as a novel. Lol. A great story told in a free verse poem. I think I should tear up my attempt. It is the silliest thing I ever wrote the past year. Lol.
Comment Written 09-Jun-2016
reply by the author on 15-Jun-2016
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Some people's silly is another persons favorite gem. I've had people love things I though were terrible and pay no attention at all to my "masterpiece". Save everything, you never know. LOL mikey
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Hahahaha, it is true. The ones I want to hide away, others think it is great. I posted it anyway, I can't recall that you read it, called 'the world today'.
Comment from l.raven
HI Michael, WOW!!! I stopped and got thinking about it...and had to go back...I wanted to know the ending...and I'm glad I did sweetie...this reminds me of the Lion King...the circle of life...I love the way it ended...and your pictures are awesome...very well written my friend...Luff Linda xxoo
reply by the author on 15-Jun-2016
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HI Michael, WOW!!! I stopped and got thinking about it...and had to go back...I wanted to know the ending...and I'm glad I did sweetie...this reminds me of the Lion King...the circle of life...I love the way it ended...and your pictures are awesome...very well written my friend...Luff Linda xxoo
Comment Written 08-Jun-2016
reply by the author on 15-Jun-2016
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Thanks sweeter than the sweetest thing imaginable. So pleased you enjoyed. mikey
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oh Michael, thank you so much for the wonderful reply...I'll be by you shorty...working my way up...I hate getting so far behind sweetie....thank you...Linda xxoo
Comment from Jannypan (Jan)
Michael,
This is an awesome presentation. The color scheme works great along with the artwork.
You explained how your thoughts come to be in a very interesting way. All the characters involved and their interactions with the thoughts make for an interesting read on the complexities of the human mind. What you see is completely yours. What others see depends on so many 'things.' But it all works together to create the process of how you think.
Good job and thanks for sharing.
Best wishes in the contest. Jan
reply by the author on 15-Jun-2016
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Michael,
This is an awesome presentation. The color scheme works great along with the artwork.
You explained how your thoughts come to be in a very interesting way. All the characters involved and their interactions with the thoughts make for an interesting read on the complexities of the human mind. What you see is completely yours. What others see depends on so many 'things.' But it all works together to create the process of how you think.
Good job and thanks for sharing.
Best wishes in the contest. Jan
Comment Written 08-Jun-2016
reply by the author on 15-Jun-2016
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Jeesh. I'm sooooo sorry to be so late in responding. What an absolutely wonderful review. I'm so thrilled you enjoyed this. I love free verse and this is my style for sure. Blathering to the end of time. LOL
Thanks a million, mikey
Comment from Phyllis Stewart
I confess to not reading this. The font is hard to read, especially yellow on black. And it's SO LONNNGGGG. I know it's a story, but hard to read and too long. SOrry.
reply by the author on 08-Jun-2016
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I confess to not reading this. The font is hard to read, especially yellow on black. And it's SO LONNNGGGG. I know it's a story, but hard to read and too long. SOrry.
Comment Written 08-Jun-2016
reply by the author on 08-Jun-2016
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You didn't miss much. Think Moby Dick without Ishmael and make it a guppy instead of a whale. LOL mikey
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LOL!
Comment from strandregs
Ok I quit at the journey.
too much like Whitman.
which drives me razy.
I would have quit a lot earlier on him.
but I gave you all I could without cuttin my wrists.
well done indeed.:-(( Z.
reply by the author on 08-Jun-2016
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Ok I quit at the journey.
too much like Whitman.
which drives me razy.
I would have quit a lot earlier on him.
but I gave you all I could without cuttin my wrists.
well done indeed.:-(( Z.
Comment Written 08-Jun-2016
reply by the author on 08-Jun-2016
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Pretty nuts, yes? It's just as bad writing it as it is reading it, believe me. HAHAHA! mikey
Comment from Pearl Edwards
Very visual and you put us instantly at the watering hole with the zebras.Lab. analysis very clipped, cold as a lab would be and then we get into the heart of life and living and zebras and lions. This is a real epic mikey, and a great read. I really loved -
and still for you I wish a dream to call your own
cheers.
reply by the author on 08-Jun-2016
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Very visual and you put us instantly at the watering hole with the zebras.Lab. analysis very clipped, cold as a lab would be and then we get into the heart of life and living and zebras and lions. This is a real epic mikey, and a great read. I really loved -
and still for you I wish a dream to call your own
cheers.
Comment Written 08-Jun-2016
reply by the author on 08-Jun-2016
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So pleased you enjoyed. Yes, a dream to call my own. Very insightful. Thanks so much. mikey
Comment from Nika2016
Six stars for a most interesting poem that seems to explore life and death in the cold analysis of a carnivore, and yet the poet speaks the lines: "For I've no clear road away..it vanished in the truth of who you are..From the first look at you and then inside of me for ill or good..you are my destiny." How this compares to a lion eating a zebra is a conundrum. Are you stating that man's hunger is so insatiable that he will destroy that which he loves? Does the woman even know his feelings good or bad? The ending is interesting in that both sit side by side..the lion and the zebra and this can happen until the hunger rises again. Interesting and disturbing. What is the part about drawing the eye? Revenge? For not showing love as he perceives it? Fair to her? She is his destiny regardless? I am glad these interesting musings are confined. Smile. Good work...perhaps you might tell her before she becomes dinner. I liked the way you took the story to different environments. ...returning full circle.
reply by the author on 08-Jun-2016
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Six stars for a most interesting poem that seems to explore life and death in the cold analysis of a carnivore, and yet the poet speaks the lines: "For I've no clear road away..it vanished in the truth of who you are..From the first look at you and then inside of me for ill or good..you are my destiny." How this compares to a lion eating a zebra is a conundrum. Are you stating that man's hunger is so insatiable that he will destroy that which he loves? Does the woman even know his feelings good or bad? The ending is interesting in that both sit side by side..the lion and the zebra and this can happen until the hunger rises again. Interesting and disturbing. What is the part about drawing the eye? Revenge? For not showing love as he perceives it? Fair to her? She is his destiny regardless? I am glad these interesting musings are confined. Smile. Good work...perhaps you might tell her before she becomes dinner. I liked the way you took the story to different environments. ...returning full circle.
Comment Written 08-Jun-2016
reply by the author on 08-Jun-2016
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I LOVE your thoughts on this and everything I write actually. Interesting musings and thought provoking for me as you pose questions that get me to thinking about my own motivations and perhaps some deeper thoughts behind some of this that I may not be aware of myself. Telling her seems wise though. Good advice. Thanks so much. This is reviewing!!! mikey
Comment from reconciled
Its funny these same thoughts hollowed out my head when I watched the documentary.... "survival of the fittest" where the lion and zebra play out our lives in more than metaphor.
where hunger rules all and full belly's weigh life, balanced on waterholes and rains. Mr. Cahill your endings gonna get a lot zebra killed you understand that right...?
love to you...michael
reply by the author on 08-Jun-2016
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Its funny these same thoughts hollowed out my head when I watched the documentary.... "survival of the fittest" where the lion and zebra play out our lives in more than metaphor.
where hunger rules all and full belly's weigh life, balanced on waterholes and rains. Mr. Cahill your endings gonna get a lot zebra killed you understand that right...?
love to you...michael
Comment Written 07-Jun-2016
reply by the author on 08-Jun-2016
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I just thought we could talk. I brought A-1 sauce. LOL mikey
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well I guess it beats chasing em' round the tundra...haha
