Reviews from

Out Of Nowhere She Appears

Says Okay Boys I'm Here Let's Play

3 total reviews 
Comment from BeasPeas
Excellent
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Great job with this. I know a woman who fits the bill entirely. Her male competitors were too busy watching her attributes as she leaned over the table to pay attention to how they played. She won every time. Much luck in the contest. Marilyn

 Comment Written 09-Jul-2016


reply by the author on 09-Jul-2016
    boobs and skinny out fits will do wonders for a man hehe
reply by BeasPeas on 09-Jul-2016
    Well the guys underestimated my friend when she played pool with them, that's for sure. She cleaned up the place.
reply by the author on 10-Jul-2016
    doesn't take much to distract a amn
Comment from Laurel Legion
Good
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For the third line in the first stanza of your poem, "They just laughed and yelled lets go ahead rack them," the word "lets" needs to be corrected as "let's" instead to fix that typo.

Then, the words "her self" in the second line of the second stanza should be combined into one word as "herself" instead.

Otherwise, your poem is engaging with its assigned topic of pocket billiard through it conversational informality of the poem's narrator. Good luck in your contest.

 Comment Written 30-May-2016


reply by the author on 31-May-2016
    hope it sounds better
reply by Laurel Legion on 31-May-2016
    The punctuation mark for "lets'" should go between the "t" and "s" in that word as let's, not lets'. But everything else now reads better as you said.
Comment from John Parkin
Excellent
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A humorous look at a hustler and I have met a few. She is my kind of girl if she is so confident of her abilities that she will go into a billiard hall and hustle the guys. I liked the flow of your verses in story form with a beginning and an end. You described her so the reader could imagine what she must look like, her attitude and personality. Nice job.

 Comment Written 30-May-2016


reply by the author on 31-May-2016
    she is a corker and an attitude when pissed
reply by John Parkin on 01-Jun-2016
    You are welcome.