Act of Endurance
Viewing comments for Chapter 22 "Home"Dawn of Chaos
27 total reviews
Comment from Pantygynt
I found this incomprehensible, a jumble of words. If this is an attempt by someone for whom English is not their first language then perhaps I should be more generous as I am sure any attempt I might make in your language would be far worse. The best I can do with this is to award it three stars.
reply by the author on 22-Oct-2020
   |
I found this incomprehensible, a jumble of words. If this is an attempt by someone for whom English is not their first language then perhaps I should be more generous as I am sure any attempt I might make in your language would be far worse. The best I can do with this is to award it three stars.
Comment Written 18-Oct-2020
reply by the author on 22-Oct-2020
-
Yeah, my constructed wall I must conquer, given slap is merited lacking proper English. I heard these statements five years, learning much. Thanking you for your assuring words and welcomed comments.
Comment from Michael Ludwinder
Your poem is creative. The way you present your story in this poem is different but works well. The message and creativity of your poem is strong. Well done.
reply by the author on 17-Oct-2020
|
Your poem is creative. The way you present your story in this poem is different but works well. The message and creativity of your poem is strong. Well done.
Comment Written 17-Oct-2020
reply by the author on 17-Oct-2020
-
I have my flaws, appreciating your comments about this write, thanking you for your generous rate despite pits.
Comment from kye saich
I am unsure whether this is meant to be set out so disjointed and choppy, and I guess some like so. However, I found it very hard to follow; I read over it three times, and it just hurt my head.
The theme is powerful. I sense a long journey through various life stages, yet I can not pick out the meaning.
If it is meant to be set out like this, then could you explain your reasons so I can revisit?
Also, the first stanza is not formatted like the rest and this stilted my reading at the start - try to keep it consistently formatted for clearer reading.
All the best,
Kye
reply by the author on 27-May-2019
|
I am unsure whether this is meant to be set out so disjointed and choppy, and I guess some like so. However, I found it very hard to follow; I read over it three times, and it just hurt my head.
The theme is powerful. I sense a long journey through various life stages, yet I can not pick out the meaning.
If it is meant to be set out like this, then could you explain your reasons so I can revisit?
Also, the first stanza is not formatted like the rest and this stilted my reading at the start - try to keep it consistently formatted for clearer reading.
All the best,
Kye
Comment Written 26-May-2019
reply by the author on 27-May-2019
-
I have my problems in writes, learning proper conveyances, thanking you for your generous rate dispute given flaws.
Comment from Brenda Henderson
I found myself struggling to follow and keep pace then it seemed the author was imparting the struggle to me by forcing me to experience the subject's confusion and discomfort through the verse.
reply by the author on 27-May-2019
|
I found myself struggling to follow and keep pace then it seemed the author was imparting the struggle to me by forcing me to experience the subject's confusion and discomfort through the verse.
Comment Written 26-May-2019
reply by the author on 27-May-2019
-
Pits are my suffering, doing revisions for the proper presentation of views, thanking you dispute given flaws for your generous rate.
Comment from Sandra Elizabeth Williams
Hi TPAC, am I to understand that two young people made a baby, the mother had to do small paying job to take care of him without the boy's father's help? That she made many sacrifices for him and that when she became old he did not treat her well, he punished her?
If this is what you're saying, it is a very sad situation indeed. Young people, though they mess up sometimes, will see themselves through certain situations, doing the best they can until things get better, but in the midst it may be thought that what they do is not enough. When a child or children are in the picture, unfortunately, they are the ones who feel this way and harbour anger and bitterness, resulting in mistreatment of a parent in the latter years.
reply by the author on 28-May-2019
|
Hi TPAC, am I to understand that two young people made a baby, the mother had to do small paying job to take care of him without the boy's father's help? That she made many sacrifices for him and that when she became old he did not treat her well, he punished her?
If this is what you're saying, it is a very sad situation indeed. Young people, though they mess up sometimes, will see themselves through certain situations, doing the best they can until things get better, but in the midst it may be thought that what they do is not enough. When a child or children are in the picture, unfortunately, they are the ones who feel this way and harbour anger and bitterness, resulting in mistreatment of a parent in the latter years.
Comment Written 26-May-2019
reply by the author on 28-May-2019
-
Glad certain aspects in this particular read were captivating to your interests, thanking you for your generous rate and welcomed comments
Comment from A.J. Dodd (AD)
This pains as someone who teaches English as a living. It is clear to me that English is not your first language. If you can enlighten me on your native tongue maybe I can offer actual constructive feedback, but now all I can say is this.
The emotion you are trying to convey is clear, there is a passionate heart and creative mind hidden in the mess of sentences here.
People are being kind with their reviews, and that is good for them, but frankly, this is a messy write, and it needs serious work.
The biggest and most consistent issue is confused word order. I can only really say for now that not a single sentence is a coherent mirror of what you want to suggest. Maybe with knowledge of your first language, I can help you clean it up, without knowledge, I can only guess at the true meaning, and I would not want to patronise you so.
Please do keep writing, but very carefully reconsider you grammatical structures. Maybe try writing in simpler vocabulary constructions first to get a firmer grip on the sentence structures.
reply by the author on 27-May-2019
|
This pains as someone who teaches English as a living. It is clear to me that English is not your first language. If you can enlighten me on your native tongue maybe I can offer actual constructive feedback, but now all I can say is this.
The emotion you are trying to convey is clear, there is a passionate heart and creative mind hidden in the mess of sentences here.
People are being kind with their reviews, and that is good for them, but frankly, this is a messy write, and it needs serious work.
The biggest and most consistent issue is confused word order. I can only really say for now that not a single sentence is a coherent mirror of what you want to suggest. Maybe with knowledge of your first language, I can help you clean it up, without knowledge, I can only guess at the true meaning, and I would not want to patronise you so.
Please do keep writing, but very carefully reconsider you grammatical structures. Maybe try writing in simpler vocabulary constructions first to get a firmer grip on the sentence structures.
Comment Written 25-May-2019
reply by the author on 27-May-2019
-
I am teaching myself having a big bang with the overall experience, thanking you dispute given flaws for your generous rate.
-
where are you from?
Comment from kahpot
Excellent, (on my read) someone has crossed the line, regretful, reasonable, and warranted in their actions, while the law and religion weighs the abuse suffered and delivered, teen love though confusing it is very impressionable and can be damaging, this is my take on this troubled read, very well done****kahpot
reply by the author on 11-Jun-2019
|
Excellent, (on my read) someone has crossed the line, regretful, reasonable, and warranted in their actions, while the law and religion weighs the abuse suffered and delivered, teen love though confusing it is very impressionable and can be damaging, this is my take on this troubled read, very well done****kahpot
Comment Written 24-May-2019
reply by the author on 11-Jun-2019
-
Glad aspects in this write were appealing to your interests, thanking you for your generous rate and charming consideration.
Comment from C T Curtis
I felt more confused than anything on this one. Perhaps I am too detail oriented to fully appreciate the words written - therefore I could not make sense of them, or find a flow to them. I feel you a good amount of in-depth feeling striving to come out - but in a different manner. I'm not much help on these words written.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 11-Jun-2019
|
I felt more confused than anything on this one. Perhaps I am too detail oriented to fully appreciate the words written - therefore I could not make sense of them, or find a flow to them. I feel you a good amount of in-depth feeling striving to come out - but in a different manner. I'm not much help on these words written.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 23-May-2019
reply by the author on 11-Jun-2019
-
I appreciate your view holding facts other that share it making new revisions necessary to bring out my points. Thanking you for your generous rate and welcomed comments.
Comment from Cybertron1986
A very unique voice that focuses on the essentials of the message of struggle, survival, and good. This had me reading over to be able to absorb the gist of the story. Well worth the read. Thank you for sharing
reply by the author on 22-May-2019
|
A very unique voice that focuses on the essentials of the message of struggle, survival, and good. This had me reading over to be able to absorb the gist of the story. Well worth the read. Thank you for sharing
Comment Written 21-May-2019
reply by the author on 22-May-2019
-
Glad aspects in this particular read were appealing to your interests. Thanking you for your generous rate and warm sentiments.
Comment from Sandra Montanino
I'm trying to figure out what your picture is all about and I've decided it must be an elevator shaft. Not sure if you meant your word meant to be "avoid" because you wrote "a void." You wrote a powerful poem. Need to enter it in a contest. Good job.
reply by the author on 23-May-2019
|
I'm trying to figure out what your picture is all about and I've decided it must be an elevator shaft. Not sure if you meant your word meant to be "avoid" because you wrote "a void." You wrote a powerful poem. Need to enter it in a contest. Good job.
Comment Written 21-May-2019
reply by the author on 23-May-2019
-
My writes are suffering grammar pits, learning myself the many wonders just wanting to convey a feeling. Thanking you for your generous rate and welcomed comments.
