Syria 2016
A Triolet for the contest45 total reviews
Comment from ~Dovey
Hi Tony,
Your poem is written in perfect triolet form. You've chosen strong repetitive lines to bring impact to the tragedy of the war in Syria. The rhyme and meter are excellent.
I'm wishing you the best of luck in the triolet contest.
Kim
reply by the author on 09-May-2016
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Hi Tony,
Your poem is written in perfect triolet form. You've chosen strong repetitive lines to bring impact to the tragedy of the war in Syria. The rhyme and meter are excellent.
I'm wishing you the best of luck in the triolet contest.
Kim
Comment Written 09-May-2016
reply by the author on 09-May-2016
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Many thanks for your good luck wishes and review, Kim.
Comment from jonathan1
Wow, this is a very powerful piece about a very relevant issue. I thought the piece was very clever and easy to read. I loved the repetition. Awesome
reply by the author on 09-May-2016
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Wow, this is a very powerful piece about a very relevant issue. I thought the piece was very clever and easy to read. I loved the repetition. Awesome
Comment Written 09-May-2016
reply by the author on 09-May-2016
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Thanks, Jonathan. I appreciate your review. Best wishes, Tony
Comment from lightink
Tony, this gave me goosbumps! The wording regarding 'friends supplying weapons' is so powerful! This is certainly not a fuzzy happy kind of triolet, but it addresses a deeply painful piece of reality! And I love that you went for that unusual depth with this form! I love both the writing and your compassion coming through
reply by the author on 10-May-2016
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Tony, this gave me goosbumps! The wording regarding 'friends supplying weapons' is so powerful! This is certainly not a fuzzy happy kind of triolet, but it addresses a deeply painful piece of reality! And I love that you went for that unusual depth with this form! I love both the writing and your compassion coming through
Comment Written 09-May-2016
reply by the author on 10-May-2016
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Thans, Jyoti. As you say, a Triolet with a difference! If you are going to repeat something three times, it has to be worth saying, I think!
Comment from Spitfire
An excellent topic and I thank you for the information in the notes. Repetition works especially well because it is an ongoing situation.
reply by the author on 10-May-2016
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An excellent topic and I thank you for the information in the notes. Repetition works especially well because it is an ongoing situation.
Comment Written 08-May-2016
reply by the author on 10-May-2016
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Thanks, Shari. On-going all right - it seems as if it will be never-ending! Best wishes, Tony
Comment from Mary Wakeford
The world has been in terrible demise before; WWI, WWII, but the sheer numbers of those suffering in the past decade is inconceivable, truly. I don't see an end in sight either. It would seem the most barbaric of humanity is hell bent on the destruction of civilization.
reply by the author on 10-May-2016
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The world has been in terrible demise before; WWI, WWII, but the sheer numbers of those suffering in the past decade is inconceivable, truly. I don't see an end in sight either. It would seem the most barbaric of humanity is hell bent on the destruction of civilization.
Comment Written 08-May-2016
reply by the author on 10-May-2016
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Thanks, Mary. It is a parlous situation and, as you say, there seems to be no end in sight.
Comment from dejohnsrld (Debbie)
A well written triolet. Yes, we have contributed greatly to the problems in Syria. How are more weapons and ammunition ever going to achieve peace. It makes absolutely no sense. Best wishes in the contest, my friend~Debbie
reply by the author on 10-May-2016
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A well written triolet. Yes, we have contributed greatly to the problems in Syria. How are more weapons and ammunition ever going to achieve peace. It makes absolutely no sense. Best wishes in the contest, my friend~Debbie
Comment Written 08-May-2016
reply by the author on 10-May-2016
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Thanks, Debbie. My sentiments exactly. Thanks for the good wishes. Tony
Comment from webfoot
this is an interesting format to write in
it's effective the way you repeat "Because of weapons friends supplied"
This is a powerful statement in poetic form that could be published in a magazine
reply by the author on 10-May-2016
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this is an interesting format to write in
it's effective the way you repeat "Because of weapons friends supplied"
This is a powerful statement in poetic form that could be published in a magazine
Comment Written 08-May-2016
reply by the author on 10-May-2016
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Thank you for your encouragement, webfoot. Appreciated. Tony.
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welcome Tony
Comment from MacMhuirich
Nicely written form for the contest, an excellent but sad read. Looking at the photo I wonder if the innocent children will see peace in their lifetime. Best wishes for the contest.
Bless you
John
reply by the author on 10-May-2016
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Nicely written form for the contest, an excellent but sad read. Looking at the photo I wonder if the innocent children will see peace in their lifetime. Best wishes for the contest.
Bless you
John
Comment Written 08-May-2016
reply by the author on 10-May-2016
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Thank you, John. Sadly many have already lost their childhood, their family and their country. Peace seems so far away.
Comment from foxangie123
It is a good write yet Syria is not a nice place and the children there are taught it is okay to murder Christians, Freedom, Whites, Blacks etc. I as an American will never stand down to such because since they do it through religion, that would mean I wasn't standing up for Christianty, The Lord.
reply by the author on 10-May-2016
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It is a good write yet Syria is not a nice place and the children there are taught it is okay to murder Christians, Freedom, Whites, Blacks etc. I as an American will never stand down to such because since they do it through religion, that would mean I wasn't standing up for Christianty, The Lord.
Comment Written 08-May-2016
reply by the author on 10-May-2016
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Thank you for your interesting comments, Angie. Actually, I have been to Syria and it is a most wonderful country. The majority of its people, like people all over the world, seek only to be allowed to live in peace. The fault lies in its leaders and in its religious extremists - who do not form a majority, but who hold the power of life and death. Many other countries, all with vested interests, supply these evil extremists with the means of mass destruction. Right-minded Christians and right-minded Muslims both condemn the violence. It is a tragic state of affairs for the millions of innocents who are suffering because of it. The Lord must weep.
Comment from Margaret Ford
Thank you so much for writing this. When there is a war between angry men, l worry so much about women (especially pregnant ones), children, seniors, and animals. I've been told that many desert animals have very sensitive hearing. What must that be like.
On a happier subject: once again, you establish and maintain a smooth rhythm: your iambic tetrameter can be read aloud with ease. No struggling to find the 'beat.' Nobody does this better than you.
reply by the author on 10-May-2016
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Thank you so much for writing this. When there is a war between angry men, l worry so much about women (especially pregnant ones), children, seniors, and animals. I've been told that many desert animals have very sensitive hearing. What must that be like.
On a happier subject: once again, you establish and maintain a smooth rhythm: your iambic tetrameter can be read aloud with ease. No struggling to find the 'beat.' Nobody does this better than you.
Comment Written 08-May-2016
reply by the author on 10-May-2016
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Thank you, Margaret. As always, it is the innocent and the weak who suffer the consequences of war.
