Soldier Phoenix
Nature brings out the best in us.18 total reviews
Comment from Ric Myworld
Congratulations! on your much deserved contest win. This story stirs about every emotion known to man, but most of all it shows faith and a glimpse into the goodness of a torn man. Great Story. :-)
reply by the author on 26-Apr-2016
  |
Congratulations! on your much deserved contest win. This story stirs about every emotion known to man, but most of all it shows faith and a glimpse into the goodness of a torn man. Great Story. :-)
Comment Written 25-Apr-2016
reply by the author on 26-Apr-2016
-
Thanks, Ric, for your very insightful review and the six-star treatment. Both are very much appreciated, as is the congrats. Rod
Comment from robyn corum
A great story. Nice to think that the guy followed his heart rather than his orders. Very cool. Good luck in the voting!
In the shadowy darkness (he was sure) he looked like a grey ghost,
--> out of POV, he can't know what he looks like
reply by the author on 24-Apr-2016
 |
A great story. Nice to think that the guy followed his heart rather than his orders. Very cool. Good luck in the voting!
In the shadowy darkness (he was sure) he looked like a grey ghost,
--> out of POV, he can't know what he looks like
Comment Written 24-Apr-2016
reply by the author on 24-Apr-2016
-
Thank you so much for your thoughtful review and kind praise, Robyn.
Comment from Zarak64
Wow I like this a lot! It was very well worded. I liked how it showed how this young soldier did everything to save a child, a child he didn't know, nor did the child live in the country he did. I like how the story asks the question "can one's humanity be totally destroyed" and how redemption is found in children. I love how you were give such a simple topic but, you made it so deep and meaning full. Mystery Writer, you are very good!
reply by the author on 23-Apr-2016
|
Wow I like this a lot! It was very well worded. I liked how it showed how this young soldier did everything to save a child, a child he didn't know, nor did the child live in the country he did. I like how the story asks the question "can one's humanity be totally destroyed" and how redemption is found in children. I love how you were give such a simple topic but, you made it so deep and meaning full. Mystery Writer, you are very good!
Comment Written 23-Apr-2016
reply by the author on 23-Apr-2016
-
Thank you so much, Zarak, for your very thoughtful comments and kind praise. I am thrilled you enjoyed the story so much and I love the six stars.
Comment from GeraldS
Yours was a creative entry for this contest prompt. It was engaging and easily held the reader's attention. The notes at the end were helpful too. Good luck in the voting.
reply by the author on 23-Apr-2016
|
Yours was a creative entry for this contest prompt. It was engaging and easily held the reader's attention. The notes at the end were helpful too. Good luck in the voting.
Comment Written 23-Apr-2016
reply by the author on 23-Apr-2016
-
I am delighted you enjoyed the story and found my notes helpful.
Comment from William Ross
Excellent writing, thinking of an exploding IUD as an earthquake for the prompt. Great write and wonderful story and read. good luck on the prompt. Have yourself a great day
reply by the author on 23-Apr-2016
|
Excellent writing, thinking of an exploding IUD as an earthquake for the prompt. Great write and wonderful story and read. good luck on the prompt. Have yourself a great day
Comment Written 23-Apr-2016
reply by the author on 23-Apr-2016
-
Thank you, William for your kind praise.
Comment from Sandra Stoner-Mitchell
I thought this was a beautiful story, and your authors notes, I agreed with. You achieved that in this story. Soldiers do face so much that it is possible for them to lose all sense of humanity. This was very well written and a really good story. Good luck in the contest. :) Sandra
reply by the author on 23-Apr-2016
|
I thought this was a beautiful story, and your authors notes, I agreed with. You achieved that in this story. Soldiers do face so much that it is possible for them to lose all sense of humanity. This was very well written and a really good story. Good luck in the contest. :) Sandra
Comment Written 23-Apr-2016
reply by the author on 23-Apr-2016
-
I am thrilled you enjoyed the story and really appreciate the kind praise and encouragement.
Comment from c_lucas
Children are born with love, not hate. Hate is a learned mechanism. This is very well written with a smooth flow of words, making for a very interesting read.
reply by the author on 23-Apr-2016
|
Children are born with love, not hate. Hate is a learned mechanism. This is very well written with a smooth flow of words, making for a very interesting read.
Comment Written 23-Apr-2016
reply by the author on 23-Apr-2016
-
I definitely agree that children = love. Thank you so much for sharing my story and your kind praise.
Comment from CEO2020
This is a great story. I like the prose. If you are not a published author, you should be. I'm aspiring to become a published author. If you have the time, please review my short story - Fatal Decision. I would love to hear your feedback. Do not feel shy to tell me the truth...constructive criticism only helps.
Thanks
reply by the author on 23-Apr-2016
|
This is a great story. I like the prose. If you are not a published author, you should be. I'm aspiring to become a published author. If you have the time, please review my short story - Fatal Decision. I would love to hear your feedback. Do not feel shy to tell me the truth...constructive criticism only helps.
Thanks
Comment Written 23-Apr-2016
reply by the author on 23-Apr-2016
-
I am flattered you like my story so much and would look to me for advice. I truly appreciate the exceptional rating. I will honor your request soon.
Comment from mfowler
This guy's a cat. More lives than anyone
else in Afghanistan, I'd suspect. Survives
the initial blast, an earthquake, and the
escape until the rangers arrive. He's a
tough cookie alright. Your story opens
dramatically and doesn't let up. You have
so many emotive elements from the loss of
comrades to the saving of the little girl,
that it's easy to be engaged with all that
drama. A great and different style of entry
in this well worn prompt competition. Best
of luck.
reply by the author on 23-Apr-2016
|
This guy's a cat. More lives than anyone
else in Afghanistan, I'd suspect. Survives
the initial blast, an earthquake, and the
escape until the rangers arrive. He's a
tough cookie alright. Your story opens
dramatically and doesn't let up. You have
so many emotive elements from the loss of
comrades to the saving of the little girl,
that it's easy to be engaged with all that
drama. A great and different style of entry
in this well worn prompt competition. Best
of luck.
Comment Written 23-Apr-2016
reply by the author on 23-Apr-2016
-
I like how you have characterized Soldier as a cat. Indeed, he must be. I am delighted you enjoyed the story and appreciate your kind praise and encouragement.
Comment from Mary Wakeford
This was a fascinating read and when I saw the title and image, "Soldier Phoenix" I suspected it was a story about Pat Tillman who on this day ten years ago was lost in the very region your story highlighted, having given up a lucrative career as an Arizona Cardinal's player. I also imagined if this were his ending, he would have acted upon this situation with the same amount of humanity. Well done.
reply by the author on 22-Apr-2016
|
This was a fascinating read and when I saw the title and image, "Soldier Phoenix" I suspected it was a story about Pat Tillman who on this day ten years ago was lost in the very region your story highlighted, having given up a lucrative career as an Arizona Cardinal's player. I also imagined if this were his ending, he would have acted upon this situation with the same amount of humanity. Well done.
Comment Written 22-Apr-2016
reply by the author on 22-Apr-2016
-
Thank you, Mary, for sharing my story and your interesting comments. Yes, I remember when Pat Tillman quit football to join the military and was killed. I admit my story was inspired by a real life account I read, but not his.
-
I knew it wasn't Pat's once I began the read...his was friendly fire. If you haven't read his mother's book titled Boots on the Ground by Dusk, it is an amazing read. Heart breaking.
