Comment from Preston McWhorter

Excellent

Hi, Treischel,
"Bus Stop" is an excellent poem, well crafted, but for me it does not reach the heights of imagery and figurative language needed for at truly superior poem.
Your friend and colleague,
Preston

 Comment Written 15-Apr-2016

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reply by the author on 16-Apr-2016

Thank you Preston. Nit you favorite format either.

Comment from Joan E.

Excellent

I am pleased you were inspired by lightink's form and shared the result with us. Your photograph proves your point about the ostentation bus shelter. I enjoyed your rhymes and I'm sure the taxpayers agree! Smiles- Joan

 Comment Written 14-Apr-2016

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reply by the author on 14-Apr-2016

Thank you Joan.

Comment from Just2Write

Excellent

I'm so pleased to see you writing to Jyoti's Sonnetino form. You do a great job - I didn't see this bus stop when I travelled through your fair city - Too bad, I would have loved its magnificent beauty. Perhaps all bus stops should be so eloquent, and elegant - An inspiration to use public transit for sure!
Thanks for sharing the photo and the form.
Rose.

 Comment Written 11-Apr-2016

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reply by the author on 11-Apr-2016

Thank you Rose. I think she's got something there.

Comment from lightink

Excellent

Tom, what a delight to see this! Such a well written, well rhymed piece with a joyful/playful revelation in it! I LOVE your ability to convey thoughts in such a playful manner! The contrast between the words "opulent" "cupola" and "simple shelter" creates a lovely contrast/ tension that gets resolved in the closing couplet: Beautiful but functional! LOL!
Definitely a noteworthy bus stop and I'm so happy that you chose to write about it. :) You did justice to this form (and the shelter)! ;)
Thank you very much!
This made me smile this morning!

 Comment Written 11-Apr-2016

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reply by the author on 11-Apr-2016

Thank you Jyoti, I think you've come up with something good. As expressive as a Haiku, but with rhyme. Triple rhyme no less. So happy I made you smile.

reply by lightink on 11-Apr-2016

I didn't think of the similarity between this and a haiku but now that you pointed out, I can see it! Thank you very much! :)

Comment from tfawcus

Excellent

I've been enjoying Jyoti's sonatinas. Yours is a fine example of one, with its definite turn after the first three lines. Both reflective and amusing. Nicely written.

 Comment Written 11-Apr-2016

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reply by the author on 11-Apr-2016

Thank you Tony.

Comment from Pantygynt

Excellent

I think jyoti's onto a winner here, in a world where we're all in a hurry the sonnet form with its three quatrains of unctious burble was an obvious target for the simplifiers and with more scope than the the haiku for further abbreviation, I am not surprised to see it emerge. Joking apart I think you have a grand subject here with a marvelous three line development of the conflict (how ridiculous to be so sublime) and an equivocal resolution to end. Why does it remind me of Ozymandias?

Very cleverly done.

 Comment Written 11-Apr-2016

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reply by the author on 11-Apr-2016

Thank you Pantygynt. Yes, I like it more than a Haiku. It has a three rhyme tercet.

reply by Pantygynt on 11-Apr-2016

Have you seen Tony's latest feast of triple rhyme tercets? Right up your street I thought.

Comment from Nottoway

Excellent

Most of the bus stops/stations that I have seen have been in Europe. While most are modernistic in design, there were some that were truly eye catching structures. They not only serving a utilitarian usefulness, but added a degree of impressiveness to appeal of city and its architecture.

I really like this piece which called attention to something many may barely notice on an everyday basis.

 Comment Written 11-Apr-2016

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reply by the author on 11-Apr-2016

Thank you Nottoway. Most people take their surroundings for granted. I glad you enjoyed my poem.

Comment from brenda bickers

Excellent

Hi TRIESCHEL,
that certainly is impressive for a bus stop, wow I wouldn't mind the bus being late if I could sit at a stop like that one.
How extravagant.
Great
Brenda

 Comment Written 10-Apr-2016

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reply by the author on 10-Apr-2016

Thank you Brenda. I'd always mind a late bus, but I'd would be a nice spot in the rain.

Comment from ciliverde

Excellent

This is nicely done, Tom. That is quite an impressive bus stop- I thought maybe you'd up and gone to Europe! I'm not surprised to see a Sonnetino popping up, I've thought of trying one myself. You've done well with your terset describing the overly opulent bus stop, but resolving with its undeniable utility.
Carol

 Comment Written 10-Apr-2016

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reply by the author on 10-Apr-2016

Thank you Carol. Yes, had to give one a go. It's a peppy little format, and I love the triple rhymed tercet,

Comment from Sandra du Plessis

Excellent

An interesting poem form which you have write well. It is an impressive busstop and once again an excelkent photograph taken.

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The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.

 Comment Written 10-Apr-2016

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reply by the author on 10-Apr-2016

Thank you Sandra.