Prosetry
Viewing comments for Chapter 1 "Old Jimmy "Story telling poems
83 total reviews
Comment from LisaD123
This is a beautifully constructed poem and the narrative inside it sustains the interest of the reader. The structure is entertaining and the single word lines help to emphasise certain points. The imagery carefully paints a picture inside the reader's mind and the characters are well-rounded, making the reader care what happens to them. Thanks for sharing and congratulations on the win.
reply by the author on 17-Apr-2016
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This is a beautifully constructed poem and the narrative inside it sustains the interest of the reader. The structure is entertaining and the single word lines help to emphasise certain points. The imagery carefully paints a picture inside the reader's mind and the characters are well-rounded, making the reader care what happens to them. Thanks for sharing and congratulations on the win.
Comment Written 16-Apr-2016
reply by the author on 17-Apr-2016
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Thank you so much. I truly appreciate it.
Comment from davisr (Rhonda)
Oh, wow, this sent shivers down my spine. You wrote with such passion, and such clarity that it seemed you were the little boy who would go listen to Old Jimmy. The last few words just frame this poem beautifully.
Congrats on the win,
Rhonda
reply by the author on 17-Apr-2016
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Oh, wow, this sent shivers down my spine. You wrote with such passion, and such clarity that it seemed you were the little boy who would go listen to Old Jimmy. The last few words just frame this poem beautifully.
Congrats on the win,
Rhonda
Comment Written 16-Apr-2016
reply by the author on 17-Apr-2016
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Thank you so much . I was given such a wonderful picture and it just created a story.
Comment from Sandra du Plessis
Congratulations on winning the contest. It is a very well written free verse poem and encouraging to learn more each day. Dctionaries are very helpful tools when writing.
reply by the author on 17-Apr-2016
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Congratulations on winning the contest. It is a very well written free verse poem and encouraging to learn more each day. Dctionaries are very helpful tools when writing.
Comment Written 16-Apr-2016
reply by the author on 17-Apr-2016
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Thank you so much.
Comment from johnwilson
This poem both delighted and surprised me. The themes of prejudice, fear, injustice and life are beautifully displayed. I can't say anything else but Bravo!
reply by the author on 17-Apr-2016
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This poem both delighted and surprised me. The themes of prejudice, fear, injustice and life are beautifully displayed. I can't say anything else but Bravo!
Comment Written 16-Apr-2016
reply by the author on 17-Apr-2016
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Thank you so much. I so appreciate it. I was given such a wonderful picture.
Comment from P1
i am a big fan of free verse poetry and
this one is reallybrill. a worthywinner of
the contest. i totally enjoyed reading it and
was a pleasure to review your words
reply by the author on 16-Apr-2016
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i am a big fan of free verse poetry and
this one is reallybrill. a worthywinner of
the contest. i totally enjoyed reading it and
was a pleasure to review your words
Comment Written 16-Apr-2016
reply by the author on 16-Apr-2016
thank you so much. the picture I was given was so amazing. I enjoyed every minute of this write.
Comment from Dawn Munro
Oh geez, every once in a while I come across a piece of writing so beautiful it makes me tear up - I do cry over a really, really sad story or poem that's exceptionally well-written, but these are tears of pure joy. I see how this gem won the contest, Judy. Congratulations. Well-deserved, and if I only had a six I could prove I mean every word!
**********************MASTERFUL!************************
reply by the author on 16-Apr-2016
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Oh geez, every once in a while I come across a piece of writing so beautiful it makes me tear up - I do cry over a really, really sad story or poem that's exceptionally well-written, but these are tears of pure joy. I see how this gem won the contest, Judy. Congratulations. Well-deserved, and if I only had a six I could prove I mean every word!
**********************MASTERFUL!************************
Comment Written 16-Apr-2016
reply by the author on 16-Apr-2016
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Thank you so much. I was given such a great picture and the story came from that..
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You're very welcome. It was a pleasure!
Comment from Aussie
Congratulations Free Verse 'Picture Challenge winner.' I tried reading Moby Dick and gave up! Any Negro that could read and write back in those days was in the firing line, and yes, your description of 'Uppity' was apt. Without education for the blacks, the whites thought they could keep the blacks under their thumb. Same here in Australia. "Sail into the worlds you never knew." How wonderful those words left for the boy. I didn't begin reading until I was 37; now I have the world in my hands and even though I have travelled overseas, I could never experience the adventures in my books. Being in a wheelchair, books bring the world to me. I love Ishmael, loved your story/poem and Moby Dick is one of my most favourite movies with Gregory Peck (so long ago.) Thank you so much for writing this, no wonder you won the contest!
reply by the author on 16-Apr-2016
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Congratulations Free Verse 'Picture Challenge winner.' I tried reading Moby Dick and gave up! Any Negro that could read and write back in those days was in the firing line, and yes, your description of 'Uppity' was apt. Without education for the blacks, the whites thought they could keep the blacks under their thumb. Same here in Australia. "Sail into the worlds you never knew." How wonderful those words left for the boy. I didn't begin reading until I was 37; now I have the world in my hands and even though I have travelled overseas, I could never experience the adventures in my books. Being in a wheelchair, books bring the world to me. I love Ishmael, loved your story/poem and Moby Dick is one of my most favourite movies with Gregory Peck (so long ago.) Thank you so much for writing this, no wonder you won the contest!
Comment Written 16-Apr-2016
reply by the author on 16-Apr-2016
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Wow, I so want to hear your story. Why didn't you read until you were 37? You obviously write beautifully. What or who kept you back in life? Would you tell us. I am amazed and curious.
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It's a long, long story; briefly, I was critically injured in 82. Spent three months in hospital, had my leg amputated. There was nothing to do, someone gave me a book. More info, go to Aussie portfolio. I may write my life adventures one day, and thank you for your interest. Oh, by the way, I am now 70 and have been reading three books on the go all the time. LOL. XX :-0 Kay.
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I want to , need to, hear your story. Unedited full of the person you are. You are 70 that means, bluntly, that you will last another 30 years or die tomorrow. We need to hear everything, from the amputation to the jubilation. Write it , I will read it.
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Judy, I don't write scripts much because of my injuries, I will think about you and decide about writing my autobiography; just for you. blessings Kay.
Comment from kiwisteveh
Congratulations on your win!
This is a very touching story told in free verse, touching on themes of racism and becoming all you can be. The language used is mostly simple, but effective in narrating this tale of the poor white boy learning life lessons from the old black man. There is poignancy too in Old Jimmy's death and in his final message tucked in the gift of a dictionary.
Nicely rounded off by the cycle starting again with father and son.
Steve
reply by the author on 16-Apr-2016
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Congratulations on your win!
This is a very touching story told in free verse, touching on themes of racism and becoming all you can be. The language used is mostly simple, but effective in narrating this tale of the poor white boy learning life lessons from the old black man. There is poignancy too in Old Jimmy's death and in his final message tucked in the gift of a dictionary.
Nicely rounded off by the cycle starting again with father and son.
Steve
Comment Written 16-Apr-2016
reply by the author on 16-Apr-2016
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thank you so much. That picture given to me in the contest is one I will always remember. It said so much even before I began writing. You have made my morning.
Comment from c_lucas
Avery familiar opening to a very popular read. This is very well written with a smooth flow of words, making for an exciting tale. You post had very good imagery.
reply by the author on 16-Apr-2016
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Avery familiar opening to a very popular read. This is very well written with a smooth flow of words, making for an exciting tale. You post had very good imagery.
Comment Written 16-Apr-2016
reply by the author on 16-Apr-2016
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Thank you so much. The picture I was given was a true gift to me. It said so much to me before I even began writing.
Comment from Gloria ....
Way to go, Jusy! Congratulations on your free verse win.
This is a wonderful poem and learning three new words a day in sound advice, until one runs out of words.
Congratulations again to you. :))
Gloria
reply by the author on 16-Apr-2016
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Way to go, Jusy! Congratulations on your free verse win.
This is a wonderful poem and learning three new words a day in sound advice, until one runs out of words.
Congratulations again to you. :))
Gloria
Comment Written 16-Apr-2016
reply by the author on 16-Apr-2016
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Thank you so much. Words are fascinating. I think I will take that challenge myself.
